Friday, October 07, 2005

God Told Me to Write This Blog


Abu Mazen, Palestinian Prime Minister, and Nabil Shaath, his Foreign Minister, describe their first meeting with President Bush in June 2003:

Nabil Shaath says: "President Bush said to all of us: 'I'm driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, "George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan." And I did, and then God would tell me, "George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq …" And I did. And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, "Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East." And by God I'm gonna do it.'"

Hey, Bush- God told me to tell you to step down, get into alcohol and drug treatment and confess your lies to Bill Mahar on his show Real Time.
No really, He did.

11 comments:

Holly in Cincinnati said...

Karen, this is excellent! Thanks!

Kate said...

I was kind of hoping God would tell Bush to go on another vacation, instead of starting another war.

dusty said...

I was hoping God would tell him to take a long walk on a short pier..

JimBob said...

You know, when God gave the Blues Brothers a mission, there was a lot of violence, there were a lot of things destroyed needlessly, and then they ended up in jail....hmmm, maybe there will be parallels here.

As a second thought, maybe I could send an email to the chimp telling him to quit fucking up, and sign it "God". You think it will work?

in.dog.neato said...

I personally would like to see God take Chimp down a peg or two for using his name to justify the fucked up situation he's put us in.

Does God still smite people like he did in the Old Testament?

Karen Zipdrive said...

Yeah, I think God still likes to lob an occasional smite.

dusty said...

well if god likes to smite the bastages of the world..whats SHE waiting for? Bush has been overdue for a smiting for years now..

in.dog.neato said...

well, if you listen to the Talking Heads (Dobson, Roberts, Graham, etc...), they'll tell you GAWD smites people all the time. New Orleans? Well, New Orleans was smote because of Gays, Ellen Degenres, abortion, liberalism, women voting, rampant masturbation, desperate housewives...you pretty much name it.

Karen Zipdrive said...

If that were the case, Bourbon Street would have been destroyed.
Nope. It's open for bidness even as I type.

in.dog.neato said...

true, but like Chimp, none of those idiots can seem to grasp the pefidity of nature...everything that happens in nature has to have a God spin on it.

War is becase God wanted to punish the muslim world, and to allow democracy to be introduced worldwide. somehow i seriously doubt God cares about democracy, but the pols talk as if democracy is the be all and end all, and the only form of government fully supported and endorsed by the almighty. If i were a dyed in the wool Chrisitian (like my granny and pa pa in Odessa), I'd be getting awfully sick and tired of this 'president' and the rest of his neoevangelical cronies usurping god's will and co opting it for their own selfish and greedy intents.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Most of my 'true' Christian friends are cringing about BushCo adopting Jesus Christ as their mascot.
I may not be a Biblical scholar, but I have read the Ten Commandments and Bush is violating at least a few of them, like 'thou shalt not kill,' for instance.