Sunday, October 26, 2008

Dumb and Dumber




Great googly moogly! I think I have taken myself to the brink of political torture.
Yes, I actually watched Elisabeth Hasslebitch introduce Sarah Palin at a rally this morning in Tampa, Florida.
Obviously, the (straight) men of the GOP have a new trick up their sleeves.
Having realized that prominent GOP women like Laura Bush, Barbara Bush Sr., Kay Baily Hutchison, Liddy Dole, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, ad nauseam all share the same unfuckability quotient, now they are pushing for good looking GOP chicks only.
Even the most rabid Democrat would have to admit, if they didn't talk, write or gesture, both Palin and Hasslebitch are good looking broads.
Alas, once they open their mouths, all the pretty in the world can't fix stupid.
A pretty but stupid woman is no trophy.
I have dated a few pretty but stupid women, and eventually my catty friends and sisters ask how I can tolerate such a dummy. Truth is, once the sexual patina rubs off, the stupidity factor and lack of stimulating conversation bore me too much to carry on.
But then, I am not a Republican straight man.
Apparently, all they need in a female Republican is the desire to fuck her, then whatever idiotic mush she drools out on the campaign trail is wholly insignificant.
Hearing Hasslebitch flap her jaws, followed by Palin's grating assault on my eardrums was torture. But using the mute button and just looking at those two made me realize what the GOP good old boys were up to.
Sex sells.
Even if the product it's selling isn't worth a damn.

14 comments:

Rastamick61 said...

Lipstick thespians strutting and fretting their hour upon a stage, idiots teling a tale full of sound and fury signifying nothing. Apologies to the bard but I couldn't resist... I love the unfuckability quotient, Palin looked good for half an hour but I could easily hit her with a snowball now if she was spreadeagled on snowshoes hasselhoe has always has that annoying cheerleaders bithc quality that makes you glad when she gets dumped and cries in front of everyone at lunch !!!

HelenWheels said...

Your post is fucking hilarious, and totally 100% spot on. And Rastamick's comment killed me... lol, right now I'm about to get all into this book of the bard's insults that I hope I can apply as often as possible.

Love the dumped cheerleader bitch analogy... LOL!!

Both of those women are braindead, intellectually incurious stepford wives trying to pretend they have a voice or anything of importance to offer, and they have nada. Where are the fresh ideas that should be coming along with a woman's point of view?

*crickets*

Karen Zipdrive said...

HAHAHA you two!
I think the one difference between Palin and Hasslecunt is that Hasslecunt probably takes her paycheck home to her football player hubby and dutifully lets him handle the money in the family.
Palin, on the other hand, wears the pants in that family. Todd is slightly more powerful than the average pet German Shepherd.
Back to Palin and Hassledorf:
If these two sperm banks were lesbians, it's clear to me Palin would be the top/butch/boi.

Matty Boy said...

I'm not Republican, but I am straight. I learned the lesson in high school, when I was at a party with a pom pom girl, who was gorgeous. We didn't have any classes together, she wasn't in the college track, but we got to talking and she was nice enough. But stone stupid. Things were going well, but I did a mental calculation and figured out I'd probably have to talk to her for at least another hour before we'd get to the physical contact, and I was sure I wasn't going to make it that far.

In the immortal words of Elvis Costello

"Still you're hopin' that she's well spoken, 'cos she's This Year's Girl..."

DCup said...

And when the straight white men are done jacking off to them, they want them to shut their mouths and go away.

Lulu Maude said...

We read the article in this week's New Yorkers on how Palin, the self-proclaimed Washington outsider, sucked up to major DC Republican insiders to advance herself.

My spouse, citing the grey white men of the Republican Party, esp. singles out William Kristol, who had the hots for Palin early on.

She calls it the Peter Principle.

Rastamick61 said...

Kristol's meth has worn off and now like a lot of hungover former Palin strokers has suggested pappy fire everyone and start over - kinda like newt rush and rudi do with their wives...

bigsis said...

Hold on Zip - if you can somehow erase all memory of Ann Coulter speaking, she's actually very attractive in a wasp-ish way. But I'm sure she scares the beejeesuz out of even the most horny old R men.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Oh right- Ann Coulter is gorgeous if you like gangly drag queens with anorexia.
Yeecch!
There's not enough tequila in the world to attract me to that skank.

HelenWheels said...

LOL!!! I have to agree with KZD: Skank!!

I mean seriously, that black cocktail dress she wears every single fucking day no matter what the venu must just reek by now.

nonnie9999 said...

funny how everyone thinks the rethugs pick women they think are hot. if you ask me, most of the male rethugs you see on tv, especially the pundits, strike me as closeted gays. i don't think they want to fuck them, i think they want to be them.

Dusty said...

I like how you caught them both with their pieholes wide open. ;p

Spartacus said...

It's debatable whether or not they were opening their mouths to talk.

dguzman said...

TOTALLY on board with you, Zip--Coulter is NOT attractive in the least--not to me, anyway!

Great post--and a dead-on GOTCHA of the repuglican reasoning behind this assault on our ears and minds.