Nonnie9999 is My All-Time Heroine
My friends, if you haven't yet visited Hysterical Raisins (listed to the right)you are missing the best Photoshopped political humor in Bloggodelphia.
Nonnie9999, though I know nothing about her except for her talent, has a standing invitation to move to Texas and into my home where I will provide her with a huge screen computer, a zillion nanogigs and pay all her bills just so I can come home from work every evening and say, "Nonnie, what did you Photoshop today?"
I am using her graphic to illustrate the point of this entry.
I think our side is gonna win.
Yes, for the first time since this never-ending election season began, I am truly feeling optimistic.
-First of all, this maverick shit has started to bore even the stupidest voters out there.
See, mavericks don't say they're mavericks. Bad asses don't say they're bad asses- they don't need to. Nor do mavericks.
It's just not mavericky to brag about being a maverick.
-Second, it turns out people don't like grouchy old farts with trophy wives, $500 Ferrigamo loafers and throbbing melanoma bulges on their faces.
-Third, Palin may be one of the only even remotely fuckable Republican women, but her voice, her mangled syntax and all that winking and posing are turning people off. Tina Fey has single-handedly made it totally uncool to like Palin.
-Fourth, the McCains own too much shit and people resent that. From all those houses to that fleet of cars to the $100 million beer franchise to the private jet to Cindy's $300,000 fashion and jewelry ensemble she wore to the RNC, people know they can't relate to common schlubs like us.
-Fifth, how many lies can McCain and Palin get caught in telling and repeating before people figure out they're a couple of huge liars?
-Sixth, conservatives like George Will, Peggy Noonan and many others have confessed that McCain has flawed judgment and Palin is Exhibit A.
-Seventh, even religious nuts think churches whose pastors speak in tongues and whose guest pastors perform anti witchcraft rites over politicians think that kind of shit is way too freaky.
-Joe Sixpack might like the common touch, but their politicians cannot be more white trash than they. Moose eating and pregnant teens and shooting animals from an airplane combined are just too lowbrow.
-Frances McDormand won an Oscar portraying a North Dakotan with the most grating regional accent in America. Nobody wants to hear that shit on the evening news 7 days a week.
And finally, people want to bring back Camelot and see the romance brought back to the White House.
Behold this handsome, loving couple:
Yeah, that's an image we'd all like to see representing to the world the best America has to offer.