Thursday, October 16, 2008

Political Haiku



Ahh, the sweet juxtaposition between nature-inspired, soothing haiku and scum sucking, sniveling campaign politics. The yin and yang! The sweet meets the bitter! The placid old mama cat meets the stinky skunk babies.

Obama, at first
You bothered me a whole lot
Now I think you're cool

John McCain, at first
I was neutral about you
Now? Go fuck yourself.

Prisoners of War
Should sue the pandering turd
Wah Wah! Me hero!

"Health of the Mother"
With big air quotes he said it
Sarcastic old fuck

"ACORN bad!" he said
John forgot: gave their keynote
speech, back in '06

Hey Joe the Plumber!
You make a quarter million?
You pay more tax, prick.

Sarah Palin puts
The cunt in phrase "cuntry first"
And Trig's her grandson!

Joe the Plumber lacks
Ohio Plumbing licence
Fucking phony plant.

"I'm not Bush," he cried.
Then his eyes bulged and he blinked
Three-thousand-ten times.

Cindy McCain- yikes
Botoxed and Vicodinned up
A rich bitch junkie

Michelle Obama
A tall, cool drink o' water
And Mama can dance!

Last night, John McCain
Scowl blink, scowl blink, scowl blink, blink
Petit mal seizures?

Barack stayed so calm
He looked quite presidential
Old John just looked mad

"ACORN bad!" John said.
If they're bad, then tell me why
He stores them in cheeks!

Barack: Bugs Bunny
And McCain is Elmer Fudd
Only grouchier

Even Fox News said
Obama kicked McCain's ass
His saggy, old ass.

9 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I keep meaning to give you this link:

http://rabblerouserruminations.blogspot.com/

She's a bitter Hillary supporter who thinks Obama is the cause of all the sexism and misogny in the world. Go, read, comment.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Ugh, no thanks.
If I want to read shit like that I can go see what that nun smoking a joint has to say.
What was her name? Sister Rita Peter?
What ev.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Off topic, but please rush to Hysterical Raisins (listed to the right) for the absolute best wrap-up of the Joe the Plumber scam McCain tried to pull last night.
Classic!

FranIAm said...

Pot smoking nun has gone dark. What ev is right.

You are pure freaking genius sister, pure haiku genius.

dguzman said...

Wow, Nobel Prize for literature or what?

BTW--more pics of Baby Jake and the boys!

HelenWheels said...

Holy shit as usual you busted me up.

GAWD so funny!

"Petit mal seizures?"

Haaaaaa!!!

Distributorcap said...

there once was a girl from Wasilla
who decide to pick up a pillow

Randal Graves said...

For five years McCain
could not write any haiku
why you hate heroes?

karenzipdrive said...

There once was a woman named Sarah
Who piled up her badly streaked hair-a
She named her kids silly
And pissed off folks- really
By lying and throwing the mud
She spoke of Obama
and called him Osama
You betcha, she's really a dud.