Saturday, November 16, 2002

Diabetes Dietribe

Well, so far so good. I've lost 5 pounds in two weeks and have been mired in a miasma of culinary confusion. It's been a challenge to make delicious foods without butter, starch or sugar, but I'm getting there.

The Good:
Pam butter flavored cooking spray. I don't care if it kills cockroaches, I'm using it.
Pine nuts. Sprinkled on salads, they make it seem less like a diet drudge.
Dr. Brown diet black cherry soda. Aviva turned me on to this and it's fabulous.
Lipton diet Brisk tea. Yum.
Baby spinach, arugula and carrot threads. Sold in a bag, I have it every day to cancel out that disgusting green leafy vegetable requirement.
Tuna in a vacuum packed bag. Not too bad. The albacore is actually good.
Rainbow sugar free 100% whole wheat bread. Not too bad.
Promise fat and sugar free margarine. Suspicious, but not bad on toast.
Tilapia. A nice, white, mild fish.
Salmon. Impossible to screw up salmon.
Mustard. Sort of like mayonnaise, okay, at least it's wet.
Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal. Soy beans I think, but pretty good. Another Aviva thing.
Hard boiled eggs. Perfect for those times I am about to freak out. Seventy calories of pure protein. Aviva strikes again.
Almonds. Especially tamari almonds. Yum. Also nice on salads and spinach. Thanks again, Aviva.
Sugar free Jelly Bellies. A dozen of these during a bad sugar Jones will save my life, I just know it.
Diet 7-up. Diet Sprite is slimy. D7up is good.
Skim milk. Okay, without the occasional 6 inch stack of Oreos or packet of graham crackers, milk isn't a beverage anyway, so what the heck.
Glucerna diabetic meal replacement bars. Not bad in a pinch.
Borden's No fat half and half. Hello again, coffee!
Couscous. Love it. What is it? I don't care, I love it.
Diet Mountain Dew and diet Red Dew. Yum!

The Bad:
Stevia sugar substitute. This is said to be the Mercedes Benz of healthy alternatives to sugar, but it tastes like crap. Sweet n' Low is better, even if it does cause mutations.
PowerBar Protein Plus bars. Zero grams of sugar but 17 grams of "alcohol sugar." That seems worse to me than sugar.
Diet IBC root beer. Just doesn't cut it.
Diet Coke. After 40 years of Coke, I just can't make the switch.
Tofu. Fuck tofu and the horse it rode in on.
Soy beans, roasted and salted. See tofu.
Diabetic cookies and jams. Sneaky sugars like mannitol and fructose. Liars!
Diet Sprite. Slime.
Diet ranch dressing. Huh uh.
Whey protein powder. Oh my God, it tastes like chocolate beef. Disgusting!
Egg beaters. I'd rather not, thanks.
Sugar free Jell-o. I don't even like regular Jell-o.

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