Thursday, November 21, 2002

Survivor: Pick a scum, any scum

Hoo, Boy.
Even the pointy brass immunity necklace looks like shit.
Let's see what scumsuckers we have left:

Brian Heidik: Apparently he didn't hide much dik in his semi-soft porn days, but he did manage to hide his affluence until his wife, Bimbo Heidik, tipped off the other vultures.
He's in danger now.
Jake Billingsly: This geezer has some kind of magic immunity for now. He's harmless and kind of funny, though he has become quite the gasbag with his macho tales.
Jan Gentry: I think she's been around so long because people instinctively ignore her and have gotten used to her not really being there. Plus she's too icky to kiss good-bye.
Helen Glover: "Then you take some butterscotch chips and sprinkle them over the toasted coconut and bake it at 350 degrees in an 8 inch jellyroll pan..." She's using the Betty Crocker routine to sand the edges off her rough cedar veneer. I still like her and I think everyone else likes her, too.
Clay Jordan: Why he hasn't been ambushed, killed and used in Helen's jerk chicken recipe is beyond me.
Penny Ramsay: Pact with the devil. Gives free nocturnal blow jobs. She must.
Ted Rogers, Jr.: His only salvation is that his jelly belly makes everyone else feel svelte.

Okay, I have no idea how these people evaluate each other anymore after they booted Ken, so I am going to pretend I am a Chewy Suck member and vote off Clay.
And if Clay isn't it, then Jan is.

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