Mondo Bloggo, Part 1
Yesterday's garage sale in rainy Austin was actually kind of fun.
Mom's neighbors across the street were having a garage sale too and Lynn, the neighbor lady who should have been gay, had her friend Wanda over to help her.
Wanda was, simply put, fuckolicious.
She was saucy and pretty and Puerto Rican, with one of those well-educated, yet R rolling accents.
Her skin was the color of coffee with four ounces of half and half in it. Mmmm.
I got totally twitchy watching her across the street in her little Panama hat and cool glasses. I actually pruned back Mom's agarita bushes hanging over the driveway so I could get a better look.
In the spirit of Tracy's butt fetish, Wanda could have cracked Brazil nuts with her firm and nubile glutes.
She even gave me three beanie babies, which I took as an overt mating ritual.
Yes, I was delusional (as my sister pointed out) but I say if you're going to be delusional, you may as well choose someone who's totally hot.