Tuesday, January 15, 2002

Is That All There Is?

All I blog about lately is food and my kitten. My life is getting too simple.
I need a woman, damn it.
So here is my preliminary questionnaire for my next true love.

1. Are you crazy? If yes, how crazy?
2. Do you think romance exists anymore?
3. How many dogs do you have?
4. Do you hate cats?
5. Are your nails clean?
6. Do you have American citizenship?
7. Do you hate football?
8. Do you consider chocolate a staple?
9. Do you hear voices? If so, are they friendly voices?
10. Do you wear tube socks?
11. Do you wear tube tops?
12. Is your home on wheels? Was it ever on wheels?
13. Do you read books without pictures?
14. Do you bite or scratch?
15. Are you a Gemini?
16. Do you collect unicorns, teddy bears, thimbles or spoons?
17. Do your subjects and verbs agree? Do you know what I mean by that?
18. Do you have teeth?
19. Do you have a job or income source?
20. Who was President when you were born?
21. Do you have a symbiotic relationship with your ex?
22. Is your ex still hanging around?
23. Why?
24. Do you think she's "the one who got away"?
25. Do I have to like the bitch?
26. Are you butch, femme or in between?
27. Do you own guns, hunt or fish?
28. Do you eat deer or other wild game?
29. Do you like country music?
30. Plain or peanut?
31. Can you have sex without having to consult anyone before or after?
32. Would you multi-task when I needed attention?
33. Do people ever call you "sir"?
34. Does anyone ever call you 'Madam' or 'Mistress'?
35. Does snoring send you into a drastic personality change?

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