Sunday, January 06, 2002

Kitten Jealousy/Kitten Pride

James, my 5-month-old kitten, is not used to me going out at night.
Last night I went to a party, the best party of the year in fact, and I came home about 2:30 a.m., slightly disheveled and smelling of Absolut.
I don't usually stay out late and I rarely drink much, so James was waiting on the chair near the front door, glaring at me as I entered the house.
I tried to pat his little kitty head, but he turned his face away then scampered off.
He bided his time until I fell asleep, then he moved ahead with his plan for vengeance.
He jumped on the bed, lifted his tail high and backed his anus as close to my face as possible.
I was awakened by the unsavory aroma.
"James, get your ass outta my face!" I said to him as I turned his little body around.
He immediately turned his ass back to my face.
I pushed him further down the bed. I fell back to sleep.
He played possum until he heard my sleep breathing, then he snuck back up and ass-faced me again.
It went on all night. I finally threw him off the bed and went back to sleep.
He jumped on my stomach, crawled back to my side and stuck his ass right against my nose. It was very disgusting.
I had to finally put a pillow over my head to put a barrier between my face and his stinky little kitten butt.
This morning there was no kitty/owner cuddling, no good morning licks, nothing.
He just woke up and strolled to his food bowl, waiting for me to sprinkle in the little pellets. No eye contact, no leg rubbing, nothing.
Sheesh. I imagine I'll find a turd in my party shoes later today.

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