Monday, January 14, 2002


I can't put it off much longer.
My kitten James turned 5 months old on January 10 and his testicles are already the size of my first boyfriend's.
He's very large for his age and his nuts are embarrassingly ponderous.
I have to get him neutered before he starts spraying my furniture. It's a race against time.
Trouble is, I can barely face the thought of surrendering him to the veterinarian for what may be an overnight stay.
He's just a baby! He's MY baby.
Then when he comes home nutless and doped up, what if my big tomcat Bart wants to get even with him for his incessant kitten antics and whip the shit out of him?
James is the color of pastel butterscotch with white trim underneath. His fur is so short, he's actually fuzzy.
His kitty nuts are actually very cute, butterscotch with some white trim. He's obviously very proud of them, judging by how many times he tries to show them to me while I am sleeping.
He has a pink nose, lips and footpads. My mother thought he was either a female or, as she put it, a joto, which is slang Spanish for homosexual.
He loves to ride in cars, now this will traumatize him.
Am I crazy here for being so concerned?
I do know this sweet gay veterinarian who is wonderful, but one of the city's most expensive vets in the ritziest part of town. I may have to bite the bullet and take James to him.
He'll understand James. He'll kiss him and cuddle him.
Yeah, that's what I'll do. Who knows testicles better than a gay guy?

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