Friday, January 04, 2002

Personal Ads

I have decided I am going to place a personal ad, based on historical fact.

GWF desires LDR with Gemini foreigner. Must be attractive, articulate and have borderline personality disorder. OCD and sexual dysfunction a plus. If you like to walk on the beach, dissociate, talk constantly about your ex-lover, have me pay for everything, and like to hang up the phone as a communication style, then you are the gal for me. Naggers, hysterics and control freaks welcome. Bad taste in music essential.

GWF seeking permanent relationship with GWF with U-Haul credit card. Let's meet, get married that night and exclude everyone from our lives except for our eight cats. Call me and let's talk for five hours, then when I try to hang up, please whine.
A day lasts 24 hours, let's communicate for 20 of them. Outdated photo a must.

GWF seeking cute, active alcoholic with control issues. Let's do it your way! If you like to lay in bed and watch TV, shop at the liquor store for 1.75 liter bottles of booze, and lukewarm sex but no sleeping overnight, then call me. Bad musicians welcome. Let's get together soon for cocktails and breakfast!

GWF seeks very first Internet relationship with a New England Italian bitch on Lithium. Please tell lies, exaggerate, spy on me, hack into my AOL account, read my mail and accuse me of being a player, then cheat on me. Please weigh 75 more pounds than you say you do, smoke like a fiend and hold grudges. Mafia relatives an added bonus. Cheapskates welcome.
Verbal abusers an added bonus.

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