Chinese Buffet

My ex of many moons ago, Cris, took me out to dinner at a really good Chinese buffet tonight. Oy, now I am suffering from massive food bloat.
First of all, whose idea is it to have all you can eat boiled shrimp and crablegs on the menu? I ate a small community of shrimp and about 14 crabs worth of legs.
Then I had some beef and broccoli, some sesame chicken, some teriyaki chicken, some rice, some beefy something, some green beans, some lemon chicken, steamed rice and three pieces of sushi.
I know I have iodine poisoning.
For dessert I had two 2" squares of chocolate cake. Then I loaded a plate with little watermelon slices, so people walking by could say, "Oh, what restraint she shows."
Buffet dining with an ex is a bad idea. There's no sense in hiding gluttony from an ex, she already knows that side of me, and it's not like I was hoping to get laid afterwards.
Besides, even if she tried something, my buffet belly would keep her at arm's length.
If I have even one sip of water, I am going to explode. No more blogger. No more Karen.
Just guts on the monitor. Guts and little pieces of rice. Ow.