We Have a Winner!
Answers to the Who Is More Butch Quiz:
1. Martina Navratalova or Bob Costas?
Martina! She could crush tiny Bob Costas between her thighs while serving an ace right between Bjorn Borg's eyes.
2. Ellen DeGeneris or Melissa Etheridge?
Ellen! I always thought Julie Cypher was a secret butch, and like Chari said, Melissa narrates that icky Lifetime for Women show about spooky shit. Feh!
3. Hillary Clinton or Barbara Bush?
Barbara! She's so butch she makes George Senior look like Paul Lynde.
4. k.d. lang or Keifer Sutherland?
k.d.! Anyone who can appear on the cover of Vanity Fair with Cindy Crawford shaving her face is tons butcher than a little Canadian toe-headed boy named after liquid yogurt.
5. Dubya or Tony Blair?
Tony Blair! Dubya is just a sock puppet with his daddy's hand crammed up his ass.
6. Colin Powell or Dick Cheney?
Colin Powell! He's still able to function without a team of cardiologists trailing behind him. Plus he's got that Haitian gang thug look, and you just know he's packing a .357 down his pants. I bet he has some wicked tattoos, too.
7. Chandra Levy or Gary Condit?
Chandra's bones are butcher than Condit. She was able to bring him down from the grave.
8. Oprah or Star Jones?
Star Jones! She can kick your ass, then turn around and sue you for hassling her, then get her pal Barbara Walters to interview you and make you cry.
9. Angela Lansbury or Paul McCartney?
Angela Lansbury! She's all a swagger with her L.L. Bean cardigan and sensible shoes. She can run circles around old Veggie boy.
10. Prince or David Spade?
Prince! I think he actually has a dick, with Spade I am wondering.
And the winner is:
Chari at Tech Fluid! clapclapclap