That Damn Dog.
As I went out earlier to run an errand, that damn black Lab from next door was lounging on my front lawn, amidst about 10 pounds of garbage she had nicked from her daddy's trash can and strewed all over my fucking lawn.
I stood there lecturing her, not realizing my neighbors on the other side were peeping from their kitchen window. I said, "Look dog, you cannot strew garbage on my lawn, it's disgusting and so are you."
Then the dog rolled on her back and fucking smiled at me, wagging her nasty, muddy tail.
As I climbed in my car, Carmen the neighbor said, "Well, I guess you told her!"
I hate picking up garbage from my lawn. It could be medical waste, it could be spooge or feces or vomit for all I know. I am a germ-o-phobe as it is, now I gotta pick up human garbage that's been in a dirty dog's mouth.
And the dog was actually laughing at me while I was doing it! Bitch!