Monday, October 21, 2002

The Zit From Hell

I've lost two pounds since I've been back, my hair is at the perfect length and a new shampoo I've been using (Redken Volume for fine hair) has puffed it up just right.
I should be feeling pretty good about myself except for one problem.
My otherwise clear skin is developing some sort of huge underground zit facility, just to the right of my chin.
It's not a simple zit that comes to a head and can be easily dealt with. This is a sprawling, headless, livid red mass with an area roughly the size of Rhode Island.
I dare not touch it or try to get to the core of it because it's apparently lodged beneath the epidermis, assessable only through general surgery.
I have applied tea tree oil liberally to the surface, only to find it totally ineffective.
I can look down and see it casting a shadow over my keyboard.
It makes my face look like I have a plug of chaw pouched in the bottom my right cheek.
It feels like a .22 caliber bullet is under my skin.
All I can do is revert to form, so I offer these zit haiku.

Kiss me, my darling
Not with that boil on your face!
But it's just a zit!

No, no, James, leave it!
That's not a new kitty toy
That's Mommie's big zit

Add some nice tinsel
I already have the huge
bright red ornament

oh Karen, baby
I think I love you, honey
'cept for That Big Thing

It'll go away
With some time, this too shall pass
Maybe in three months

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