Friday, January 10, 2003

Lottery Fantasy, Part XX

The Texas Lotto is at $25 million, and since I opted for the cash option, here's how I plan to spend my 12 mil.
1. Make someone else figure out all this immigration crap while Aviva and I go traveling on the Orient Express and QE2
2. Buy Barcodie a new, fully loaded computer except for the "w" on the keyboard, which I will personally pry off prior to delivery
3. Install a bumper car ride in one of the wings of my new mansion
4. Send a pair of Land's End casual suede sports mocs to all my bloglink buddies
5. Buy a giant Caterpillar front end loader, install a jet engine and get on I-35 and scoop slow drivers in the fast lane out of my way
6. Hire someone to move my legs up and down, simulating exercise, while I read a nice book
7. Commission a scientist to remove all that's bad from chocolate and leave what's left indistinguishable from real chocolate
8. Have Michael Jackson's dermatologist visit Condaleezza Rice and Colin Powell so they can go ahead and become totally white
9. Send Hillary Clinton a million dollars for her presidential campaign just to piss off the righties
10. Hire Molly Ivins to ghostwrite my blog while I am traveling
11. Buy my 15-year-old nephew a beige Volvo station wagon as his first car

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