San Antonio: 47ºF and sunny
Montreal: 3ºF with snow flurries
I have one winter garment, a jacket, just slightly insulated.
I kept kidding myself into thinking I could wear it in Canada when I go up there in a few weeks.
Fact is, I've never been in three degree temperatures.
I have no idea what 3º feels like, but I know what 30º feels like and it makes me numb within about two minutes just thinking about it.
This much I know: my wimpy little jacket isn't going to cut it in Montreal.
So off I went, foraging for a "good winter coat" in Texas.
I was not going to get one of those Michelin Man, down-filled, fat people coats.
I haven't been eating lettuce and chicken breasts for four months so I can look like I've gained weight.
Anyway, there was this very nice, classic black wool coat, 3/4 length by Liz Claiborne. It fit well and looked very dressy.
Trouble is, when I go on vacation, I am not very dressy.
Besides, in 3º weather, I don't think wool would be warm enough.
So, I decided to sacrifice looking good for staying warm.
I ended up with some kind of medium green, subzero coat with plaid fuzz inside and secret pockets. I already removed the hood. I don't care how cold it is, I look like a fool in a hood.
It has zippers and buttons and pull cords and sleeve cuffs that can be tightened with Velcro straps. It has features, man.
And I don't look like the Michelin Man when I have it on.
Michelin Woman, well, maybe...