What I Learned About Diabetes Yesterday (a public service blog)

My class went well yesterday. It was led by a 40-ish woman with a perky attitude and perhaps 1 percent body fat. Skinny little overachieving twerp!
Besides her, I was the youngest (and smallest) person there, so that it in itself was an education. Apparently my formerly sedentary, hedonistic lifestyle was not such a great idea after all. God, it was fun, though.

Here's what *does not* cause blood glucose levels to rise:
• water
• exercise
• breathing
Here's what *does* cause blood glucose levels to rise:
• everything else
The good news is, I found out any fake sugar ending in "tol" is an alcohol sugar. Sorbitol, mannitol, etc., do not cause the blood glucose level to rise quite as much as I thought they might.
Still, those fake sugars are most often used in diabetic products like cookies, candies, cakes and pies which contain flour and/or other bad things, so they are still part of a bad food selection. Grocery store diabetic treats are usually just plain bad.
Carrots are not a starchy vegetable after all, but acorn and butternut squash are. Fine. I like carrots and can do without those kinds of squash.
My suspicions turned out to be true: potatoes, for some people (like me) are worse than a chocolate bar rolled in sugar and dipped in honey. I have decided to walk away from them. They just aren't worth the angst, the delicious little troublemakers.
Pizza, I learned, is one of those foods that can prolong a spiked glucose level for hours on end. Pizza lingers on and on, with the fats egging on the carbs in a long ballet of elevated glucose torture. My pizza horizons are very limited.
Diabetics can have normal desserts as long as the meal before the dessert contains no carbohydrates. Such a dinner might consist of: four ounces of baked, skinless chicken without adornments, then dessert. Bleecch.
Butter is less harmful than margarine, but the best oils/fats to use are canola oil, olive oil and peanut oil. I am suspicious of canola oil and scared of peanut oil, so I use olive oil when I absolutely must have oil.
Deep frying is just the Devil's Kitchen Work and should be forgotten.
Pasta is better than potatoes, non-instant rice is better than pasta.
Summary: chicken, fish, whole grains and non-starchy vegetables are best to eat.
Sweet wines will fuck you up. Dry whites are best. Champagne is even better, if you can stop at a few measly ounces.
Isn't this disease a drag so far?