Friday, January 10, 2003

Obey the Rules!

One thing I've noticed, having had three Canadian visitors in my home over the last four years, is that they are unfailingly polite and they obey the rules.
In Canada, the rules are a set of standards that ensure order, civility and peace.
In Texas, the rules are challenges to be circumvented or surmounted at every opportunity.
Take speeding, for example.
When a sign says 70 MPH, I take that to mean in the slow lane, at night, in rainy or icy conditions, with deer all over the highway.
In Canada, they'll do 68 just to make sure they don't offend police officers who are kind enough to be manning the highways, ensuring safety and tranquility.
In Canada, neighbors keep their stereos at quiet volumes so the noise does not penetrate their walls.
In Texas, if a neighbor's music is disturbing me, I aim my speakers out the window and put on Jimi Hendrix or opera at a level that tests my speakers' durability.
The Texas flag has a lone star on it, meaning we are the star of the United States.
The Canadian flag has a cute little red maple leaf on it.
Texans can carry concealed weapons, legally.
Canadians sew little Canadian flags on their backpacks, so nobody will feel threatened.
Texans have drive through liquor stores.
Canadians sell their booze through government-owned stores.
In Canada, they end sentences with "eh"?
In Texas, we end sentences with "get it?"

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