Spring's Dastardly Downside

It's happened.
I finished all my writing assignments for the month and I am off until the first of May.
Now I must face the dreaded Spring Chores.
Heavy rains and an ancient roof last fall produced some damage like cracks and a few stains on my living room ceiling. The new roof has ceased the problems, but the scars remain.
I have to repaint my living room, starting with the ceiling. Yep, the room with the 1,000 pound couch, the oriental rug and the zillion things related to electronic entertainment.
I have to move all that shit. Then I have to spackle. Then I have to paint the ceiling, which means I have to detail the ceiling fan so it doesn't look haggard next to the new ceiling paint.
Then the walls need to be painted, which means I'll have to get new blinds so they don't look haggard next to the new paint. Over the blinds are valances I made out of textured canvas, foam core and plastic produce bags. They have aged, so I have to make new ones.
I am someone for whom a mitre box presents unmet challenges. I cannot get the connection between hammer, nail and wall. I think that duct tape should, in theory, out perform sheetrock tape.
All that aside, I must ignore my glaring lack of Bob Villa skills and forge ahead.
Next stop: Sears paint department.