Friday, May 16, 2003

It's a Conspiracy

I don't know what's happening, but the last three retail establishments I visited were playing nothing but 50' and '60's music.
I'm not talking the Doors and Jimi Hendrix, I'm talking Ruby and the Romantics, the Platters, Fats Domino and Gary Lewis and the Playboys.
I do not like squeezing melons to "Hang on Sloopy."
I loathe trying on clothing with a New Christie Minstrels' song blaring in my ears.
At Sears, I was buying a new air conditioner. The B-side 50's music was so horrible I had to go outside in the humidity and wait for package pickup.
I mean, the song, "You Make me Wanna Shout" is a cool song if I'm half lit and dancing in a bar somewhere, but at 10 a.m., I don't need the aggravation.
I was recently in this trashy Big Lots or one of those kinds of stores looking for some gardening stuff. I wanted to get in and get out fast, but the music was so good I dallied.
If they can play good songs like "Rock the Casbah" and "Tainted Love" why can't these other dumps do the same?
We have a new Super Target I recently visited to get some new doodads for my bike.
I walked in, all settled to have a leisurely shopping experience then I heard it, Freddie Boom Boom Cannon singing, "Where the Action is."
For the youth out there, here's the essence of that song:
Oh baby come on.
Oh baby come on.
Oh baby come on.
It's so great to meet your baby where the action is.
I stayed for one whooo too many.
That fucking song is still etching furrows in my brain.

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