I Want to Cater Khalid Shaikh Mohammed's Meals

KZ: Good morning! For breakfast we have pork sausage with pork gravy, bacon, ham, and pork falafel.
KSM: I don't eat pork.
KZ: Well, isn't that too bad! Okay, how about some Jell-O?
KSM: Jell-O has hooves in it. I don't eat hooves.
KZ: Oh well, there goes breakfast!

KZ: Lunchtime! Enjoy your BLT.
KSM: I don't eat bacon.
KZ: Uh oh! Well, how about some plain biscuits with butter?
KSM: Do the biscuits contain lard?
KZ: Of course.
KSM: No lard.
KZ: Oh well, see you at dinner!

KZ: You must be starved! I made some babyback ribs!
KSM: Are they pork ribs?
KZ: You bet they are! And there's also green beans with bacon bits, bourbon baked beans and ice cream!
KSM: No pork ribs! No bacon bits! No alcohol! No whey!
KZ: No way?
KSM: No, no whey! Whey is in ice cream and it is mushbooh!
KZ: Mushbooh?
KSM: Yes, almost as bad as haram!
KZ: Well, if you can't eat my cooking, you better take some of this protein powder and some vitamins.
KSM: What kind of protein?
KZ: Lemme see here. Uh oh, it's whey protein.
KSM: No whey!
KZ: You got that right, you bastard.