Tuesday, April 29, 2008

American Puritans Unite!

All this buzz about Miley Cyrus posing for Vanity Fair with fine arts photos taken by Annie Liebowitz is fucking ridiculous.
The term "posing topless" does not apply to a model wrapped in a sheet, where neither her breasts nor her lower back are showing.
The kid is getting older and wants to appeal to her fan base of young girls who also are maturing.
The photos are tasteful and beautiful.
Once again, Europeans are laughing their asses off at all the uproar over this nothing issue. It's embarrassing.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Wright is All Right With Me

First off, the more I hear, the more I love The Rev. Jeremiah Wright.
He's funny, he does great imitations, and he says shit about the neo-cons that is delightfully outrageous in its candor. Hell, I aspire to make comments as outlandish as his!
I would dearly love to hear one of his sermons in person.
He's a true original and I agree with so much of what he says about racism and the White Man keeping the rest of us down.

Alas, I also love the following people and support the following issues:

Dennis Kucinich
Geraldine Ferraro
Jane Fonda
Legalized pot
Gay marriage
Legalized Abortion
Taxing churches
Gun Control
Transgender Rights
Rosie O'Donnell
Al Sharpton
Amy Winehouse
Tax breaks for gays who don't have equal rights
Elimination of tax credits for breeders
Property tax breaks for those who don't have kids in school
Free(er) immigration policies

That makes me about as politically viable as your average left-wing, pussy-lovin' lesbian militant pothead extremist.

Ergo, the fact that I love Rev. Wright is a moot point when one considers how many American voters are thoroughly turned off- and even frightened- by Wright and his deliciously radical points of view.

See, I want a Democrat in office, and Wright has managed to freak the bejeebers out of the average white, Christian, family values moderate-to-conservative voter.
If you think Obama's immersion in Wright's church won't turn off voters, I have some valuable beachfront property here in San Antonio I'd like to sell you.

Now that Wright is making the media rounds and exposing himself as the Black militant rabble rouser he is, please don't hide your head in the sand and pretend he's not fucking up Obama's chances but good. What's more, now that he's gotten a taste for the publicity he'll want more, because all great performers want more.

What Wright is doing is making people wonder if Obama is playing possum until he wins- then he'll invite in his radical Black pals and turn the presidency into one big GET WHITEY movement.
Sure, it's ignorant, but I'm talking about the same dumb-ass white voters who elected Bush twice.

It makes no difference whether I like Wright or not. I only get one vote.

However, if Obama's alliance with him turns off voters and Obama is the Democratic nominee, we could lose this motherfuckin' election and see four more years of Republican bullshit.

I know for many of you, Obama is the wonderkind and all you ever wanted in a shiny new candidate. Alas, you only get one vote, like me.

When Obama started to completely overpower Hillary in popularity, I had to adjust my thinking and begin to embrace and prepare to support my second choice, Obama.
But now that Obama is taking a drubbing, can any of you face the idea that Obama might not be electable?
Can you consider the possibility that we Democrats may have to support whomever can beat McCain?

Can you?
Please Stop Before I Have to Spank you...

Every year it seems we must adapt to the creation, then endure the ad nauseam repetition of hip new catch phrases that inundate the media.
Who can forget recent relics like, "dude!" and "whatever" being crammed down our throats and poked into our eyes on an hourly basis?
Now comes "really."
Susie: "I think Hillary should stay in the race."
Matthew: "Really, Susie? Really?"
From Saturday Night Live, to MTV, to Comedy Central, to cell phone ads, all this "really-talk" really gets on my nerves.
Whenever I hear it, I immediately cast aspersions on the little pop culture parrot who's saying it.
I know it's, like, really awesome to, like, stay hip to the culture of linguistics but goddamn, please try to skip the silly fads you hear on TV. Don't become one of these guys:

Saturday, April 26, 2008

You May Have to Just Get Over It

I've been keeping my powder dry about Hillary's big win in Pennsylvania, but last night on "Real Time with Bill Mahar," Bill nailed it when he said Hillary shouldn't even consider stepping down because the margins of victory between her and Obama are too slim for her to quit.
His guest Arianna Huffington, whom I usually love, said, "She has no right to say the things she says about Obama."
Au contraire, my Greek siren.
As Americans, we all have the right to say any goddamn thing we want about anyone. In turn, we must face the consequences of our words.
For Huffington to display such righteous indignation tells me her political astuteness is a few bubbles off plumb when it comes to her blind devotion to Obama.
In politics, all's fair. Obama has hurled barbs at Hillary, and vice versa.
Huffington is still fuming over Hillary's "It's 3 a.m. in America" ad.
For God's sake, doesn't she realize that the ad was so effective it's triggered thousands of transparent "the lady doth protest too much" reactions?
Sorry, Obama Claymates, but sleeping next to a two-term president for eight years does provide a candidate some valuable insight into what being president entails.
Who among us thinks Hillary would crumble under pressure if that call came in at 3 a.m.? The ad was about her toughness under pressure- it was not an indictment of freshman Senator Obama's lack of experience.
People sure are touchy about Obama's weaknesses.

I am too, but for different reasons.
Can this guy win the general election when he's lost all the Big State primaries?
Can this overly sensitive guy survive the mega-ton media battle the GOP will mount against him when he hasn't weathered the heat from Camp Hillary?

It's 3 a.m. in America, and I'll bet Hillary's not awake, pouting about what Obama said about her.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Portrait of a Murderer

This morning, the murderer of Viola Barrios was arrested and confessed to breaking into her home, shooting her, stealing her credit cards, starting several fires in the home, then escaping from the scene in her 2006 silver Mercedes.

The murderer was 18-year-old Joe Estrada. He was Mrs. Barrios's next door neighbor.
He said he wanted the money to buy drugs.

He's charged with capital murder, which carries the death penalty.
I'm sure his fellow Texas prisoners will welcome him in their own special way.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Rest in Peace, Mrs. Barrios

Today in San Antonio, the body of Viola Barrios, 77, was found amidst the rubble of her burning house. Her 2006 Mercedes Benz was missing from her driveway, and the police suspect murder, with arson apparently used to cover the crime. Her killer(s) remain at large.

Viola Barrios migrated from Mexico to Texas as a child. Years later, as a young widow, she founded her first family restaurant "Los Barrios" in 1979 as a means to support her young family. The business has grown from a few tables located in a small boat house to two large and prospering family restaurants capable of catering events of all sizes and serving hundreds of customers daily. Public recognition was not important to Viola, although she received awards for inspiring women in business, and a scholarship for women was named in her honor by Les Dames d' Escoffier.

I used to speak with Mrs. Barrios whenever I'd visit her fantastic Mexican restaurant Los Barrios, located only a few miles from my house. She was always quick with a smile and a pat on the arm, just like somebody's little grandma.

Considering Los Barrios has been featured on the Food Network, Good Morning America, the BBC and many other television programs that showcase the best places to eat all over America. Mrs. Barrios remained modest, sweet natured and hard working.

Just last night, she worked at her restaurant manning the register until after 10 p.m. At age 77, she didn't have to work. She did it because she loved it.

I know probably none of you have dined at Los Barrios or ever met Mrs. Barrios, but I wanted to blog about her just in case anyone ever Googles her. I just want people to know she was loved and will be missed by thousands of us here in San Antonio.
True Love Never Runs Smooth

Gee, you'd think Star Jones's marriage to that gay guy nobody had ever heard of would have lasted.
Between her and Liza Minelli, the business of celebrity fag hags is really going down the tubes.
Meanwhile, raspy-voiced Jenna Bush is soon set to marry some nobody of dubious sexual orientation (he's a Republican, which makes him automatically suspect), but at least Jenna can find comfort in the arms of the nearest Austin barfly lesbian if things go south for her and whatzisname.
I'm so happy to hear she's not planning a White House wedding. The idea of the taxpayers having to pay for all the added secret service coverage and catering and other expense that comes with a White House wedding would make my head spin 360 degrees.
Last night on Larry King, she implied that she might not be backing McCain in the race. How I wish she would have said, "This current president has fucked it up for all Republicans running for office..."
And what's with her twin, Not-Jenna?
She makes the Nixon daughters seem like brilliant international socialites, filled with glamour, style and wit.
What does she do, anyway? Can she possibly be as boring as she seems?

Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Real Baby Jake at 4 Months

They talk about human babies who reach the terrible twos, but there's no terrible twos like a 4-month-old kitten.
Baby Jake has one fatal flaw--he's smarter than any cat I've ever met, and smarter than most humans I know.
He knows how to gnaw the bottom out of the kitty treat bag, and when I transferred his baby treats to a glass jar with a snap-on plastic lid, it took him maybe 5 minutes to learn how to pry it open with his tiny teeth and paws.
At four pounds, he terrorizes his 20-pound brother Nick and daddy James. Poor guys, they try to have a peaceful nap and are awakened by him trying to bite their tails off.
He won't let any of us sleep at night. He marches and pounces all over me all night, and God forbid I move a toe under the blanket while I'm actually sleeping.
He's growing an impressive set of little kitty nuts now, and he doesn't like anyone examining them. But he loves to show them off, often backing them into my face when I'm trying to sleep.
He's past the adorable kitten-in-the-lap stage, too. I have to hold him in place if I have the urge to cuddle him, unless I am eating, then he's like Velcro.
He often gives himself a fat lip, miscalculating bites aimed at the scruffs of the other boys' necks.
If I am late with his Iams kitten chow, he simply jumps up on the counter, rips open the bag and helps himself.
I can't understand how a little being who's younger than most of the condiments in my refrigerator has managed to overtake an entire household, but he has.
Oh, the Horrors of That Debate!!!

I didn't actually watch the ABC debate last week because it doesn't matter to me anymore who says what to whom. I'm voting for whichever Democrat wins the nomination, and I won't change my mind unless something about a candidate being a pedophile or a pet torturer comes up.
I did, however, listen to excerpts and watch clips of the major parts of the debate.
From what I hear, George Stephanopoulis and Charles Gibson asked both candidates some stupid questions, especially Obama.
What really has amazed me, however, is how outraged Obama's fanbase got over it.
They are acting as if people's plans to vote Democratic were somehow altered because Obama showed annoyance and discomfort during certain segments of the debate.
Maybe it's because, as a Hillary supporter, I have gotten used to hearing despicable things about her and seen the media treat her like she's Madeline Murray O'Hare, smacking a statue of Jesus with a soiled Kotex.
I've developed a thick skin over the last few decades regarding the mass hatred of Hillary. She's proven to be durable and tenacious, but for a woman in politics I guess that's a liability.
The anger by Obama's Claymates toward ABC and its reporters who moderated the debate has been nothing short of shrill. They are demanding all sorts of remedies to what seems to them like the biggest travesty in American media history.
I don't like sore losers, but sore winners are even worse.
Obama's the presumptive Democratic candidate and we all know it. So why get so shrill when the media ham-hands the man?
Is he really such a pussy that his fans think they need to rampage against anyone who attempts to push his buttons?
Do his fans really think he's above the fray and neither fighting back nor running negative ads?
Jesus, people, there's no need to worry about another botched debate.
Obama's a good man with good ideas.
There's no need to make Hillary a bad woman to make Obama look like a better man.
But most importantly, all this over-reaction to Obama's treatment in the ABC debate is giving the GOP the playbook on how to make him, and his fans, squirm.
Sometimes, the best reaction to a bad situation is a simple, "whatever."
We Democrats need to stop cradling Obama when he fucks up and loses his cool. The best way we can help get him elected is to let him learn to be more resilient.
Like Hillary.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Ron Can You Find My Boy a Job?

'A moment I've been dreading. George brought his n'er-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida; the one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I'll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they'll hire him as a contributing editor or something. That looks like easy work.'

From the REAGAN DIARIES------entry dated May 17, 1986.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Baby Jake at 4 Months Old

Yep, it was cold this morning (please overlook the goosebumps) and Baby Jake tried his best to snuggle up with his Mama Zipdrive.
Don't you just love kittens?

Monday, April 14, 2008

The Dalai Lama Speaks

With the Olympics soon coming to Beijing, China, the Dalai Lama has been in the news a lot lately, speaking for a free Tibet. Here are some of his more interesting comments in the news lately.

"I am peaceful man, but George Bush--I could, as they say in America, 'bitchslap.'"
"In my visits to America I find Seattle the city most like my heart. Plus I love those triple shots of espresso--pure nirvana."
"I am amused that George W. Bush, O.J. Simpson and I share the same horoscope sign: Cancer."
"My favorite song is Steely Dan's "Bothisattva." Good beat, easy to dance."
"I love the global dedication shown by American actress Angelina Jolie. Plus she is what they call steaming hot."
"The solution to America's occupation in Iraq is simple: Bush twins and Cheney daughters enlist and serve proudly in Baghdad streets."
"I have two Lhaso Apso dogs: Barney Thupten Jigme and Miss Beasley Tsering Dolma."
"China's greater contribution to Tibet should be more Cantonese restaurants but less domination and human rights violation."
"As a Buddhist, I eat no meat but vegan diet is crazy and inconvenient to dining companions."
"The China Olympics should be avoided because of human rights issue but I believe former Olympic ice skater Kristi Yamaguchi has best shot for disco ball trophy on "Dancing With Stars"."

Sunday, April 13, 2008

News Haiku

Condi Rice for Veep?
The Peter Principle lives!
Score one for lesbos

Petrayus spoke out
Not sure when, or how, or why
But we need more time

McCain to his wife:
"You're a bad, trollopy cunt!"
But I love ya, babe

Cheney's sunglasses
Depict naked women...WHAT?
Nah, he hates women.

Paris, Spears, Lohan
We interrupt this broadcast...
To watch them vomit

Egads, what a world
Jessie Ventura now seems
Very sensible

French Prez Sarkozy
What a disappointment, he's
Kissing up to Bush

John McCain forgets
Sunni or Shite, what-ev
Who cares? All Ayrabs

A hundred-year war?
Sure, why not? McCain don't care
He'll be dead in ten

That shmuck Lieberman
Endorsing that fuck McCain
Mealy mouthed weasel

Bush clan planned torture
But fucking news media
Stays mum on that news

Tax rebate coming
Stimulate economy
Buy a pound of weed

I'd gladly donate
A tank of prime gasoline
Pumped up Bush's ass

Two people: shut up!
Michelle Obama and Bill
You're both buzzkillers

Bridget McCain? Who?
Oh right, they keep her hidden
She's bad for image

Speaking of daughters
Where did Dick's dyke daughter go?
Don't ask, don't tell, please
Great News for Consumers!

Okay, I have to admit it. One of my most shameful guilty pleasures is watching "The Real Housewives of New York City" on Bravo TV.
I alternate between hating the pretentious Simon, the latent homosexual, plug-ugly husband and his wife Alex, the vampire-toothed social climber, and the rest of those bitchy, Botoxed bitches and their saggy old husbands.
The cast has enough hubris and chutzpah to inspire a retro Woody Allen movie, you know, back when he was still funny.
I especially love the Jewish Princess wives who crawled across the Brooklyn Bridge with their grating, nasal accents fully intact.
Seeing their pretentiousness and avarice makes me feel smugly superior in a, "live simply, so that others may simply live" kinda way.
As such, I have chosen a shoe that proves one can spend lavishly while still saving big bucks.
This model by Roberto Cavalli is ON SALE! Originally $1,515, these versatile beauties can be yours for only $735. Yes, for less than half the original retail price, you too can strut your stuff and pray to God someone asks you how much you paid for them.
Or, as one of the housewives might say, "Oy, one look at these fabulous shoes and I thought I would just die."

Now let's all have a lychee-tini and discuss this amongst yourselves.
Yeah, she hoisted a cold one, so?

The media and the Obama Claymates have really made hay out of Hillary showing up in a small town Pennsylvania bar and doing a shot of Crown Royal, followed by a mug of beer and pizza with the locals.
How is this news?
Meanwhile, Obama poorly worded his description of the desperation that smothers blue collar Pennsylvanians, and he too was vilified by the media and the Clintonistas.
How is that news?
Of the two events, I think Hillary scored the most points by showing that a lady can toss back a boilermaker with the fellas without getting a case of the vapors. I think it'll play with blue collar PA voters because it shows her rowdy side, and we all love a rowdy side.
Obama wasn't being elitist when he uttered those remarks about guns, religion and bitterness. Hasn't anyone seen "The Deer Hunter," for chrissakes?
By now, it really doesn't matter which Democrat makes the gaffes. We are on board with whoever wins the nomination.
While the ridiculously dumbed-down media feasts upon goofy photo ops and well meaning but intemperate quotes made by the Democrats, let us not forget the real issues at hand.
-We just endured Petrayus and Crocker serving the Congress a steaming platter of crap that said nothing about anything in Iraq, except to say fragile progress has been made, but it is reversible. What? Three billion tax dollars and five years for that?
We know Bush directed them to equivocate so he could buy enough time to leave the incredibly fucked-up mess he created in Iraq to the next president.
-We are paying more than $3 a gallon for gas and it's crippling average Americans and the trucking industry who deliver our groceries.
-The GOP Slime Machine already is busily at work, turning campaign donations into weapons of mass delusion they plan to foist off on the vastly ignorant electorate.
-We know for sure now that the torture and abuse of detainees perpetrated by our military did not come from the bottom up; it came from Bush's hand-picked minions who hatched their devious plans from the White House Situation Room while Bush stayed busy coloring in the next room.

We cannot feed upon the minuscule gaffes and goofy photos of our Democratic candidates. We cannot lose focus of the horrendously bad decisions made by the current administration.
And most of all, we cannot divert our attention with banal fripperies the media serves us about our Democratic candidates.
One glimpse at the comments section of the Huffington Post tells us our fellow Democrats still are busily harpooning either Hillary or Obama over the most minor ripples.

We have met the enemy and they are the current administration and anyone they endorse. That's where our focus should be.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Or Else What?

Today Bush told Iran, "Learn to be good neighbors, or else."
Or else what, you idiot?
We'll invade them and start another war?
Yeah? With what troops and what money?

One of the best things I learned after age 40 was that ultimatums do not work, nor do idle threats. Both are the last bastion of those in a losing position.
Bush took us into war in Afghanistan (1)to bring bin Laden to justice and (2)stamp out Al Qaida where they train. He accomplished neither.
Bush took us to war with Iraq to (1)destroy Saddam's alleged WMD and (2)bring democracy to the region. He's accomplished neither.
Basically, the only thing Bush has proven he CAN do is send our troops to invade places. He has no idea what to do once we've invaded, nor how to get us out of there, but he likes to keep invading because he knows how, plus he keeps doing the same thing and hoping for a different outcome.
That's the unrecovered drunk in him.
So delusional is he, he must think Iran has no access to the Internet or satellite TV and haven't yet realized that we are fresh out of troops and money.

Like Moe, Bush is an idiot worth laughing at, if only he weren't such a mean-spirited bully. I still pray that he decides to return to Crawford and do nothing but clear brush until January 20.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

From The Huffingtom Post
By Nick Juliano

McCain's Profane Tirade at his Wife

John McCain's temper is well documented. He's called opponents and colleagues "shitheads," "assholes" and in at least one case "a fucking jerk."...
Three reporters from Arizona, on the condition of anonymity, also let me in on another incident involving McCain's intemperateness.

In his 1992 Senate bid, McCain was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, as well as campaign aide Doug Cole and consultant Wes Gullett.
At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there."
McCain's face reddened, and he responded, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt." McCain's excuse was that it had been a long day.
If elected president of the United States, McCain would have many long days.

The man who was known as "McNasty" in high school has erupted in foul-languaged tirades at political foes and congressional colleagues more-or-less throughout his career, and his quickness to anger has been an issue on the presidential campaign trail as evidence of his fury has surfaced.

As Schecter notes, McCain's rage is not limited to the political spectrum, and even his family cannot be spared the brute force of his anger.

Schecter, who also blogs at The Agonist, said in an interview the anecdote is "an early example of his uncontrollable temper." In the book he outlines several other examples of McCain losing his cool and raises the question of how that would affect a McCain presidency.

What should voters make of this pattern?
In February 2008 Tim Russert succinctly described McCain on MSNBC's Morning Joe. A devilish grin spread from ear to ear as Russert, no McCain hater, leaned forward and spoke in a whisper, "He likes to fight."
Russert got it right. But the big question isn't whether McCain likes to fight: it's who, when and how.
The exchange between McCain and his wife was not reported anywhere when it happened, Schecter said (a LexisNexis database search confirms this). In 1992, McCain's mention in the national media revolved mostly around his involvement in the Keating Five scandal, and only local reporters closely followed his re-election bid.

McCain is well known for his rapport with the national media covering his presidential bid (he's jokingly referred to the press as "my base"), but Schecter said this incident was buried not out of fealty to the Arizona senator. Rather, it was uneasiness about how to get such a coarse exchange into a family newspaper, and he didn't fault the local press for not covering the incident.

"Members of the media are squeamish covering stuff like this so they let it go," Schecter told RAW STORY in an interview Monday. "Back in '92, when people use naughty words, [reporters] don't know as much what to do with it."

Much has changed since then. President Bush's reference to a New York Times reporter as a "major league asshole" was reported in at least 47 newspapers during the 2000 campaign, when the off-color remark was overheard, according to a database search. And more than a dozen newspapers have reported Dick Cheney's recommendation that Sen. Patrick Leahy "fuck yourself."

McCain and his aides have brushed off suggestions that his temper could impede his ability to perform the sometimes-delicate tasks asked of a president. The candidate was asked about his legendary temper last week on "Fox News Sunday," where he cited his ability to work "across the aisle" while in the Senate.

"You can't scare people or intimidate them if you're going to reach agreement with your colleagues and your contemporaries And I've worked hard at that, and that's what the American people want," McCain said. " The second thing is if I lose my capacity for anger, then I shouldn't be president of the United States. ... When I see the waste and corruption in Washington, I get angry."

McCain's campaign did not return a call from RAW STORY seeking comment Monday morning.

Schecter says McCain's anger is much more than a passion for the issues. One can only imagine what would happen if McCain were to try to squeeze that temper into the tight confines of diplomacy.

"The public certainly has to know what this guy might do as president," Schecter says. Examples like the ones in his book "should worry people, quite frankly."
Suck It, Lou Dobbs

Yep, it was inevitable.
More and more American farmers are getting around the labor shortage caused by the crackdown of illegal migrant workers by buying up farm land in Mexico and hiring the workers where they live.
These idiot Republicans and their scare tactics about illegal aliens are continuing to fuck up the American economy.
I live in San Antonio, about 150 miles from Mexico.
One of the perks of living so near the border used to be the glut of hardworking Mexican aliens who were willing to do gardening, tile & cement work, leveling, roofing, hauling, tree trimming and other noxious tasks that really don't require hiring three blond guys named Scott, Chad and Trent and their shiny new pick-ups for 50 bucks an hour.
Nah, give me a guy named Chuy with eight fingers and a dented 1972 Ford pick-up any time. I pay fair wages, serve lunch and tons of water and drinks. I let them estimate the job, and it's usually so reasonable I don't have to haggle.
Who is that hurting?
How much are Americans willing to pay for a fucking head of lettuce when we are forced to hire Scott, Chad and Trent to pick it?
How many urban homes will fall into disgraceful disrepair when homeowners can't afford to hire licensed, bonded All-American contractors?
Employing migrant alien workers and ignoring the immigration status of hardworking Mexicans and South and Central Americans has been the American way for generations.
Aliens should be allowed to work in America, and American businesses should be bound by law to pay them at least minimum wage and provide decent working conditions.
I want to eat produce grown in America, picked by anyone who wants to do the job.
Fuckin' Republicans.
Vegan Summer Stew ala Zipdrive

1 large onion, sliced
1 clove garlic, sliced
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 ounces turnip, cubed
6 ounces baby carrots, sliced
6 ounces new potatoes, diced
6 ounces cauliflower florets
8 ounces zucchini, sliced
2 1/2 cups vegetable stock
2 tablespoons cornstarch
3 tablespoons water
16 ounces canned tomatoes, crushed with juice
3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
fresh herbs to taste
salt and pepper
vegetable cooking spray (or up to 3-Tbs oil)
2 lbs. sirloin, cut into 2" chunks

In large pan, soften onion and garlic in oil, covered, over low heat.
Brown meat chunks.
Then add the vegetables and brown 5-6 minutes, stirring and turning.
Gradually add stock, stirring and bring to a boil, then stir in the cornstarch and water mixture.
Add the tomatoes with their juice and stir well. Add the herbs, plus any spices you like.
Season with the salt and pepper.
Turn the heat down and cover the pan tightly.
Simmer gently about 20 to 25 minutes.
Stir occasionally and add a little water if needed.

Go Yearn for Zion Some Goddamn Place Else

Like that Yankee carpetbagger George W. Bush hasn't fucked up Texas's reputation enough, now we have a scandal out of Eldorado with those out-of-state polygamous Fundamentalist Mormons and their creepy-ass pedophile ranch.
Look, non-Texas folks, don't start getting any crazy ideas.
Just because Texas has lots of farm and ranch land available doesn't mean you can bring your child molesting for Jesus cults here and put down stakes.
That shit belongs in Utah and Arizona with the rest of those crazy religious nut bastards.
Texas is a lot like California.
The natives are just regular people, it's these out-of-staters who bring their Biblical jibber-jabber and Jesus-freaky lifestyles to Texas and ruin it for the rest of us.
The Yearning for Zion (YFZ) cult was founded by that milquetoast, weak-chinned pedophile Warren Jessop, who's doing hard pokey time for arranging marriages between grown men and little girls who had no choice in the matter.
The great state of Texas has taken legal, protective custody of more than 400 little children and 140 women who were treated like icky blow-up dolls by the racist, mongrel men who run the YFZ cult.
It's costing us millions to sort this out, so let's hope heads are gonna roll over this.
We Texans are putting out the word:
Keep Your Wacko LDS Pedophile Cults in Utah...or anywhere but Texas.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Vegan Stir Fry ala Zipdrive

My lady friend (whose name makes the anagram Swan Sin Soul) has decided she's a vegan. No meat, no fish, no poultry, no eggs and no dairy--including cheese.
I often cook for Swan, and this vegan thing has presented quite a wrinkle for me from a culinary perspective.
On the brighter side, it has increased my use of vegetables in my own cooking, and today I created my version of a proper vegan stir fry.

Vegan Stir Fry ala Zipdrive

1 8 oz. ribeye steak, sliced into 1/4 inch strips
1/2 yellow pepper, julienned
1 c. broccoli separated into small florets
1 cup carrots, sliced into thin coins
3/4 c. snow peas
1/2 cup red onion, sliced thin
1 small can pineapple chunks in natural juices, drained (reserve juice)
1 lg. handful cilantro, sliced into chiffonade ribbons
1/2 c. Teriyaki soy sauce
1/4 cup peanut satay sauce
1/4 tsp Tobasco
1/4 c. extra virgin olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

Slice ribeye into thin strips, marinate 1 hour in pineapple juice, teriyaki and tobasco.
After marinading, heat the olive oil, then cook steak strips in a large wok or dutch oven until medium well. Set aside and keep warm.
To wok, add remaining vegetables and pineapple chunks and stir fry until crisp, adding the snow peas and cilantro last.
When vegetables are done, mix in peanut satay sauce well.
Add meat, and stir until rewarmed.
Add salt and pepper to taste.
Serves four.
I use organic brown basmati rice as a go-along.

I wish there was a way to disguise the ribeye. I'd invite Swan over for a nice, protein-filled Vegan dinner.

Friday, April 04, 2008

From McCain's Memory Tour

"Why, I recall this photo taken of the McCain clan back in 1888 when I was just a mere lad of 8. I recall how Mumsy used to treat us kids to a sarsaparilla and a nickel silent movie down at the old movie show.
"How wonderful it was back then not to have to worry about Negroes, Arabs or women who didn't know their place.
"Yes, my friends, back then men were men and boys grew up to be men. And it was all just that simple back then.
"If you elect me to be your president, my friends, I vow to take you back to those simple times."

Thursday, April 03, 2008

It's McCain's Magical Memory Tour!!

Wowzah! Twenty-three skidoo!
There's nothing I love more than to gather 'round and listen to an old man talk about his personal history.
From Meridian to Annapolis to Florida, then a safe landing in Arizona-- I can hardly imagine what fun it would be to sit in the audience and watch McCain read his heartfelt memories off the jumbo TelePrompter.
With so many uppity young voters suddenly in the mix (thanks to that whippersnapper Barack Obama)I think McCain's handlers came up with a brilliant plan to attract younger voters with his tender memories...I can just see a couple of 20-year-olds in Annapolis now:
"Yo, Dude! Johnny Mac is up in here today talkin' about where he be back in the day!"
"You goin' to check him out?"
"Fuck yeah, I'm goin'! I be down with the Mac Granddaddy. He cool!"
"Yeah, he cool wif his war hero joint n'all."
"You wanna score some weed before we go so's we can really get into his story?"
"Ah, Hell no. Since he be in the race I change my ways. He a inspiration to young peeps."
"I'm down widdat, Jack!" (high fives exchanged)

Uh huh. Imagine sitting in the audience of some warm cafetorium in Mississippi amidst the box fans and air smelling like Ben Gay and urine. Then McCain inches toward the lectern and begins to tell the tale of his admiral daddy and granddaddy and how towns like Meridian shaped his manhood.
Hopefully, he's taking advantage of modern technology and adding a slide show with a roll down screen, provided by the AV Club at the local high school.
Forget current events like the war, gas prices and the recession--McCain just knows that people love to hear about the way it was back in the day.
He may be an old man, but he knows how to put some sizzle into this race.

He's the bee's knees.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008


Good for them.
Protesting diesel fuel prices that have increased more than 100 percent in one year, truckers nationwide have pledged to pull their trucks over and park them for the next three days.
With American oil companies posting record profits of more than $250 billion in the last year, we motorists are getting fucked without a scintilla of governmental oversight to help put an end to this highway robbery.
Traditionally, diesel fuel was either about the same or slightly less than standard gasoline we use in our personal vehicles.
Looks like the oil industry recognized the trucking industry's necessity for diesel fuel and jacked up the prices without a bit of fear of reprisal.
Today in Congress, oil company executives claimed their price hikes "were no different from other corporate rate hikes for their products." How they were able to say that without snickering defies the imagination.
Forget the war.
Forget the investment banking bailouts.
Forget the recession teetering on depression.
If I were a Democratic candidate for President, I'd say, "In 1999, gas was 99 cents a gallon. Now it's more than $3 a gallon. In four more years of GOP 'leadership,' gas will end up costing you $6, to $7, to $8 a gallon. Had enough?"

Skyrocketing gas and diesel prices cause ALL consumer goods to rise in cost. Salaries are not keeping pace with these increases.
Do oil companies really need to make $250 billion in PROFITS?
Hell, no.
Go, truckers, go!