Thursday, April 30, 2009

Kelly McGillis Comes Out of the Closet

I know, I know, this video clip features Ellen DeGeneres and Jodie Foster, but I prefer eyeing these lesbians over Kelly McGillis.
Besides, McGillis was in "The Accused" with Foster, so this clip is just one degree of separation.
For you purists out there, here's a pic of McGillis, from a while ago:

And here she is lately, now that she's kicked down the closet door and butched it up a bit:

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

In 1953, A Lot of Stuff Happened
On April 30, 1953 Something Happened That I Like a Lot

In 1953:

Josef Stalin died
Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were executed for espionage.
The CIA and British spooks ousted Iran's Prime Minister and stuck in their guy, Mohammed Reza Pahlevi, aka The Shah of Iran.
The UN censured Israel for heavy reprisals against Jordanian border raiders.
Gucci opened their first American store in NYC.
A NYC subway token cost 15 cents.
Alfred Kinsey published "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female," where half the 5,000 women interviewed for the book admitted they had had sexual intercourse before marriage. Sen. Joe McCarthy went ballistic and saw to it Kinsey's future research grants went kaput.
TV Guide was launched.
The television industry reported $538 million in ad revenues, thanks in part to tons of TV commercials for cigarettes.
Playboy Magazine begins, featuring Marilyn Monroe.
Poet Dylan Thomas, 39, dies of alcoholism at St. Vincent's Hospital in NYC.
Popular TV shows included Romper Room, Lassie, The Life of Riley, Father Knows Best, Walt Disney and the Loretta Young Show.
Hot pop songs written in 1953 included "How Much is that Doggie in the Window?" and "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." Eartha Kitt recorded "Santa Baby." Hank Williams, Sr. died.
Matchbox cars were introduced.
Jacqueline Bouvier, 24, married Sen. John F. Kennedy, 36, in Newport, Rhode Island.
Cheez Whiz was introduced to Americans.
Swanson introduced the first TV Dinner, featuring turkey, cornbread dressing, gravy, peas topped with butter, and whipped sweet potatoes flavored with orange juice and butter. It cost 98 cents.
A jar of Peter Pan peanut butter cost 29 cents.
Scott toilet paper was a nickel a roll.
Sliced bacon was 35 cents a pound.
A pound of coffee went for 37 cents.
A family style loaf of bread was 12 cents.
A big box of Tide cost 67 cents.
T-bone steak was 59 cents a pound.

On April 30 in history:

2004: The last edition of NPR's Morning Edition with Bob Edwards as host airs.
1999: Chandra Levy, a former intern to California Congressman Gary Condit, was last seen in Washington, D.C.
1997: Ellen DeGeneres's character comes out of the closet on the sitcom Ellen.
1993: During a changeover at a tennis tournament in Hamburg, Germany, Monica Seles is stabbed in the back by a deranged fan of rival Steffi Graf. Seles would not play competitively for more than two years after the incident.
1992: The last episode of the Cosby Show airs.
1988: In Dublin, Ireland, CĂ©line Dion wins the thirty-third Eurovision Song Contest for Switzerland singing "Ne partez pas sans moi" (Don't leave without me).
1983: Michael Jackson's song "Beat It" hits number 1 on the Billboard music charts.
1980: Accession of Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands.
1975: Communist forces gains control of Saigon. The Vietnam War formally ends with the unconditional surrender of South Vietnamese president Duong Van Minh.
1973: Watergate Scandal: President Richard Nixon announces that top White House aides H.R. Haldeman, John Ehrlichman, and others have resigned.
1966: Anton LaVey founds the Church of Satan.
1953: Sis becomes BigSis to Baby Karen, a 7 lb. 3 oz., 21" little angel.
1945: Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun commit suicide after being married for one day.
1939: The 1939 New York World's Fair opens.
1938: The cartoon short Porky's Hare Hunt debuts in movie theaters, introducing Bugs Bunny.
1927: The Federal Industrial Institute for Women, opens in Alderson, West Virginia, as the first women's federal prison in the United States.
1925: Automaker Dodge Brothers, Inc. is sold to Dillon, Read & Company for USD $146 million plus $50 million for charity.
1904: The Louisiana Purchase Exposition World's Fair opens in Saint Louis, Missouri.
1894: Coxey's Army reaches Washington, D.C. to protest the unemployment caused by the Panic of 1893.
1812: The Territory of Orleans becomes the 18th U.S. state under the name Louisiana.
1803: Louisiana Purchase: The United States purchases the Louisiana Territory from France for $15 million, more than doubling overnight the size of the young nation.
1789: On the balcony of Federal Hall on Wall Street in New York City, George Washington takes the oath of office to become the first elected President of the United States.
1492: Spain gives Christopher Columbus his commission of exploration.
1483: Orbital calculations suggest that on this day Pluto moved inside Neptune's orbit, making Neptune the furthest planet from the Sun until July 23, 1503.
711: Moorish troops led by Tariq ibn-Ziyad land at Gibraltar to begin their invasion of the Iberian Peninsula (Al-Andalus).
313: Roman emperor Licinius unifies the entire Eastern Roman Empire under his rule.
30: Suggested date of the crucifixion of Jesus

Famous People Born in 1953:

Chaka Khan
Dennis Miller
Pierce Brosnan
Tim Allen
Tom Petty
John Edwards
Janice Dickinson
Tony Blair
Kim Basinger
Paul Allen
Amy Irving
Cyndi Lauper
Debra Winger
Dog the Bounty Hunter
Frances Conroy
Hulk Hogan
Mary Steenbergen
Tony Shaloub
Karen Zipdrive

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Arlen Specter (D-PA)

Welcome aboard, dude.
And thanks for joining Senator Al Franken to give the Senate those 60 votes they needed to kick the Party of No's ass.
Next to jump on the bandwagon?

Monday, April 27, 2009

Rick Perry: How Embarrassing For Us Texans

Just a week or two ago, Texas Governor Rick Perry made headlines with his ignorant statements about Texas maybe seceding from the nation.
Now he's made headlines again, asking the Feds to please, please, please send Texas a bunch of swine flu vaccine.
Now, I don't wish the swine flu on anyone, but...oh wait, yes I do.
I hope Perry gets it, and I hope he ends up with a snout and a curly tail to boot.
Just when Texas's most ignorant and arrogant resident George W. Bush fades blissfully into the background, why must that asshole Rick Perry pick up the slack?
Rick Perry: do us all a favor and just shut up.
Bye Bye, Pontiac

Sad to see General Motors has decided to discontinue making Pontiacs. Like Oldsmobiles, they can no longer make money off them, so down they go.
Remember the GTO?
What a cool muscle car that was back in the 60's.
And those Grand Prix Pontiacs back in the 70's were gorgeous, fast beasts.
But somewhere along the way, Pontiac forgot to make cars that would make people envious.
My pal D-Guz over at And Other Dreams (listed to the right)drives a Pontiac G6 that she loves. She told me it's a good car with a lot of doodads on it that she enjoys.
Pontiac should have taken a page from Ford's book and resurrected the GTO like Ford did the Mustang. Instead of dumping their dulled-down GTO back in 2005, they should have updated the 60's model and offered it up as a muscle car like the Mustang.

Sorry, but when I think Pontiac now I think mini van that's in my way on the freeway.
Had Pontiac brought back the cool GTO, I could gladly tailgate one of them, and at least have a cool car to look at as I whizzed by.
I Love My Big Bro

Simple relationships are such a joy.
My big brother Billy is 10 years older than me, but he's stayed slim and active so he seems much younger. He's retired but he fills his time as a freelance hydrologist, whatever that is.
Here's our telephone conversation today.

KZ: Hello?
B: I'm bored.
KZ: How come?
B: I had a job but I couldn't find it so I came home.
KZ: Why don't you watch TV?
B: No way, because I'll be sitting here doing it all day.
KZ: Why don't you go outside and water your plants?
B: It's raining.
B: What are you doing?
KZ: Nuthin'. I just woke up. I got drunk last night at dinner with Middle Sis and Big T.
B: You got drunk? What did you have?
KZ: A giant Bombay Sapphire martini and my share of two bottles of wine.
B: Did you act crazy?
KZ: Not really, I did a little table hopping at the restaurant and spilled hot fudge all down my shirt. And they wouldn't let me drive home.
B: Table hopping?
KZ: Yeah, there was this couple at the next table and I sat down and asked if they were married or on a date. They were real nice. Married, with two kids. The youngest one has some kind of mental illness.
B: They told you all that?
KZ: Uh huh.
B: How'd you spill all that fudge on your shirt?
KZ: Not sure. I didn't notice it until I got to their house.
B: You stayed there overnight?
KZ: No, I had a little nap, then I woke up and looked for their kitty Booboo to sleep with me, and when I couldn't find her I drove home.
B: I wonder where she was?
KZ: I think she was hiding from me because she doesn't like wine fumes.
B: Did you just wake up?
KZ: Yeah. I haven't had coffee yet. I had to buy a new coffeemaker and it was a cheap one and it has no automatic turn-off switch, so the first time I used it, it stayed all all day and night and I ended up with coffee jerky in the bottom of the pot.
B: It should turn off on its own if the element gets too hot.
KZ: I guess it didn't get that hot.
B: Did you save the jerky so you can reconstitute it later?
KZ: God no! How gross would that be? Besides, I have at least five different kinds of coffee people gave me or I bought on sale.
B: Why do you have so much?
KZ: I dunno, it just started piling up.
B: Did I tell you that the wife bought a new car?
KZ: She bought a new car last year--now she has a new new car?
B: It's new to her, but it's a 1984 VW Rabbit.
KZ: What? How many miles does it have on it?
B: Oh, a hundred and seventy-six thousand. And it's really cool, it's diesel and stick shift and gets 57 miles per gallon.
KZ: Jeeze, and it's not beat up?
B: Nope, it's in great shape.
KZ: What color is it?
B: Babyshit yellow.
KZ: Eeeuwww.
B: She's gonna get it repainted, though.
KZ: What color?
B: Babyshit yellow.
B: Okay, I gotta go now.
KZ: Okay, see you next weekend at my birthday party.
B: You're milking this birthday for all it's worth, aren't you?
KZ: I am.
B: Okay, see ya.
KZ: Bye bye.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

By Popular Demand
Dick or Douchebag?

From the creator of "Cunt or Snatch?" now comes the male version!
Is he a dick or is he a douchebag? Find out here!
















A Zipdrive Mushatorial

God, I love my friends.
I used to be quite the social butterfly, going out all the damn time to see and be seen.
Back then, popularity really mattered to me. Now, I couldn't care less.
Being more of a hermit satisfies me now. I like my own company in my own little cocoon. I can go for days without seeing anyone.
My birthday is looming at the end of the month, and I realize at this time of year how grateful I am for my friends who've stepped forward and reached out to me.
My BigSis, whom you all know from the comments section, is probably my best friend.
She and her partner MySharona took it upon themselves to throw me a birthday party in Austin next weekend, and they've been buzzing around like crickets on meth with catering menus and plans to ensure a good time.
My pal Katie is flying out from San Diego to take me to dinner at the Tip Top Cafe on Thursday, the actual night of my birthday. Then we'll come back to my pad to watch Survivor. What bliss.
Tomorrow night, I'll be going to dinner with MiddleSis and her partner Big T. MiddleSis is sort of the Mother Teresa of the family, yet she tolerates me quite well for some reason.
Last night, my cousin from NYC was in town and a bunch of us went out for burgers and conversation. She and her sister, my other cousin, gave me a mess of lottery tickets that were worth $12! Along with them were their adult kids and their partners. Being with them all made me feel cozy and warm.

Recently, I decided to resurrect my efforts at writing a novel.
Though I am a professional journalist, I am by no means a creative writer so I sent out the first chapter to a handful of real-time and Internet friends for their critique.
Bless their hearts. Some gave me a lot of strokes and encouragement, while others really laid it on the line with suggestions on how I could improve my wobbly first attempt.
What I learned most was, it's great to have friends out there whom I can trust.
At my age, I've finally culled out a lot of rainy day friends and kept the ones I truly love.
I may not be on the phone with most of them--even on a monthly basis--but they know I care and I know they care.
If you watch the video of Bette Midler, you'll see former Harlottes Melissa Manchester and Katie Sagal. Though it had been ages since they performed behind Bette and they had their own successful careers by the time they appeared on this clip, they showed up to support their old friend.
My friends would do that for me, and they know I'd do that for them.
And in the end, that's what really matters in life--loving and being loved in return.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Last Word on Waterboarding

Attention: All right-wing lunatics, Bush apologists and media bullshitters who insist that waterboarding is not torture.
I say it is.
Millions say it is.
The law says it is. Get this:
When a Texas Sheriff and his goons once waterboarded a prisoner, they were all arrested, convicted and sentenced to jail terms. Governor George W. Bush didn't do shit to intervene in their convictions or sentencing.
It's against the law, it's against the Geneva Conventions and it's torture. Get it?
What? You disagree? Okay then...
I, Karen Zipdrive, hereby volunteer to waterboard anyone who claims it is not torture.
Afterwards, if you still believe it's not torture, you can have a guest blog here at Pulp Friction and write about anything you want. We can even turn off the comments so you don't have to face criticism.
So how about it, Fox News and all GOP legislators?
Are you willing to let me pour water over your face until you feel like you're drowning to death? Are you willing to risk a lil' oopsie and actually drown to death?
Contact me and let's make arrangements for your personal waterboarding.
We can even videotape it for the blog.
To Those Fucking Credit Card Fucks Who've Been Fucking With Us:

For those of you who've experienced credit card companies jacking up your interest rates for no reason, cutting your credit limits, changing due dates and charging outrageous late fees, Obama has stepped in and told those crooks they better cool it.
This song is for them.
And thanks, Obama, honey.

It's Not in the Cards

Last year I jumped aboard the corporate HabitTrail with the rest of the hamsters and tried my best to play the part. Business suits, a brief case and an office in the spiffy glass office tower were part of the scene, and so was observing a cokehead, manic CEO, an inept CFO and a band of "executives" that had no executive experience.
They ended up sqandering almost a million dollars of investor money within six months, and I left that clown car with them owing me more than $11,000 in back pay.
Fortunately, I had also made a good friend there, a brilliant guy whom I liked at first sight. The feeling was mutual. We were soul mates.
When we left, we decided to take their idea and run with it.
He, his wife and I were going to make a new start of it and do it right this time-without the fancy office and shtick we couldn't afford; our clients would foot the bill for anything we acquired, and we wouldn't seek investors because we didn't believe in risking other peoples' money on our dreams.
I really like these people. They are smart, they have class and they get me.
But going in as a partner with a married couple is a lot like having a menage a trois with a married couple--someone always ends up odd-person-out and issues ensue.
Damn it, I'm a writer, not a business entrepreneur.
Writing is what I do best, and I love the solitary nature of it.
I hate meetings, I hate negotiations, I hate having to dress up and I hate consensus building in a two-against-one scenario, even when the other two are nice people.
I like people telling me what they want me to write, then I do it and get paid for it. One, two, three.
So, today I plan to meet with my partners and tell them I want a corporate divorce.
Once again, I find myself throwing caution to the wind and willing to leap into the void of the financial uncertainty that freelancing brings.
I've freelanced as a writer before, once for a 10-year stretch. I did okay.
I've always said that making a difficult decision is like sailing the open seas.
You struggle with the sails and the currents, then eventually you get into a groove and the boat starts to slice through the water like a knife through warm butter.
I can always tell when I've made the right decision because a calm washes over me.
Gone are the stress and the worrying and the dry cleaning bills.
I'm a lousy entrepreneur, but I'm a damn good journalist and writer.
So that's what I'll do.
And here's the song that buzzing through my head right now. Enjoy.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I'm Serious.
If You've Ever Even Considered Responding to an Online Request, Please Respond to This One.

It's not just that Dick Cheney is a reprehensible, arrogant bastard who thought and still thinks he is above the law, it's much more than that.
His role in okaying, and possibly masterminding, the torture and abuse of detainees at Gitmo and Abu Ghraib has put our troops in danger, diminished America's moral stature in the world and violated many of our basic principles as citizens.
He should not be above the law, nor should his subordinates.
Please act now and urge Attorney General Holder to investigate Cheney and his cohorts' role in torture and abuse that have been well documented.
Please do this, and tell us you've done it in the comments section.
Thank you.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Joe Scarborough, Take Your Smug Sarcasm and Shove It Up Your Ass

Wouldn't you love to punch him right in the mouth?
With all his Republican, holier-than-thou bluster, many of us still want to know about the dead female aide who was found in his Florida Congressional office at the same time Democrat Congressman Gary Condit was under intense national media scrutiny.
Scarborough resigned shortly thereafter- saying he, "wanted to spend more time with his family."
Yeah, right.
Well, we all know Gary Condit was exonerated, but he was investigated half to death and hounded by the media in a total rush to judgment.
Apparently, when Republicans are tied in with female aides found dead on their office floors, it's a nothing matter that requires no investigation.

So...that makes him smug, sarcastic AND suspicious.

Friday, April 17, 2009

It Backfired! Gotta Love It.

By now it's pretty plain to see those bullshit tea parties and rabid tea baggers were exposed as the ignorant racists they are.
It wasn't about taxes- if it were they'd know that Obama's tax cuts were great for anyone who earns less than $250,000 a year.
It wasn't about deficit spending; if it were the teabaggers would have protested Bush years ago for squandering the surplus and pissing off trillions of dollars with nothing to show for it.
It was about ignorant, racist, xenophobic bastards, period.
It was about insecure white people who are quick to make up lies and distort facts in a clumsy effort to discredit the president, just because he's Black.
It was about selfish, arrogant people with a crazy sense of entitlement who refuse to accept that Obama won the majority of votes and became our legally elected, well-qualified commander in chief.
It was about angry, scared people who need the security of gun ownership because they feel too small and powerless to exist without them.

I love that the Republicans continue to back ridiculous plans and even more ridiculous people, only to dig themselves deeper into obsolescence.
Who really is their leader now?
Michael Steele is a blithering idiot.
Bobby Jindal? Please.
Rush Limbaugh? Most people hate that bloviating slob.
Fox News meat puppets? Pandering whores.
Sarah Palin? Don't make me laugh.
Eric Canter? Amateur hour.
Newt Gingrich? Totally 80's retro neocon jerkoff.
Rick Perry? Lunatic, grouchy son of a bitch.

It's almost impossible to name a Republican without several major flaws, be they character flaws, financial scandals or morality issues.

While it's fantastic that the GOP is starting to cave in on itself, as they grow more desperate I fear they'll take even more radical stances and inspire some paranoid, gun owning nutter to try to shoot Obama or some other Democrat.
Like wounded animals, they are most dangerous when cornered.
Texas Governor Rick Perry: Fuck Off, You Jerk.

Just as we Texans have Bush all hidden out at his honky chateau in Dallas, here comes that idiot teabagging Rick Perry making an ass of himself on national TV.
He thinks the Texas Constitution allows for us to secede from the United States, so he said he's considering it.
Nobody asked any of us Texans about that crummy idea.
Can't these rightwing extremists see how transparent they are being?
All this teabagging and threats to take our balls and go home are just thinly veiled protests about us having a Black president.
Did anyone read any of the signs those tens of dozens of teabaggers throughout the nation carried during their protests?
They hate Obama.
They may not be able to spell, but their hatred shone through.

Rick Perry can kiss my liberal, Democratic, Texan ass.
He's just one of the many redneck wingnuts who are fomenting hatred against the administration of our Black president because he just can't handle it.
I'll tell you what.
These conservative rightwing lunatics need to evolve, before someone gets hurt.
There are too many rightwing nuts with guns out there--let's not stir those imbeciles up, okay?
Rick Perry, you've had your do-nothing job for ages now. You've stood for nothing and you've accomplished nothing. Now that you're planning another run, your secession idea appeals only to Texans too stupid to read a ballot and vote.
Time for you to find a real job and get the hell out of Austin.
There's a reason some crazy arsonist burnt the Governor's Mansion. He was trying to get rid of the vermin, dude.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Phil Spector Found Guilty

Dig this lunatic's mugshot, then tell me justice wasn't served by finding him guilty of second degree murder.
I may be a flaming liberal, but I just love it when bad guys get what's coming to them.
I hope they liquidate his assets and use them to pay for all the court time he ate up in both trials, then give the rest to battered women's shelters all over California.
I hope they put him in a cell with Charlie Manson and let them spend the rest of their lives trying to out-crazy each other.

I loved it!
The rightwing teabaggers were just praying President Obama's reaction to the Somali pirates would be panty-waist, but I guess after he gave the okay to those Navy Seal sharpshooters, their prayers were not answered.
I'm not much of a warmonger myself, but I'm kinda glad Obama is sending the world the message that he's not one to be fucked with.
Heh, heh, heh.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

My Two Easters

Gosh, I guess I wish I were more religious so Easter would mean more to me than chocolate bunnies and fun dinners with my family, but it doesn't.
On Friday, I was watching the local noon news and saw a segment on the annual passion play or whatever they call it, when a local hippy guy dresses like Jesus and carries his very own cross down a major downtown street while a bunch of thugs kick the crap out of him en route to his crucifixion.
A woman holding her 3-year-old daughter in the huge audience said, "I bring my little girl here so she can see Easter is more than Easter egg hunts and chocolate bunnies."
Call me a stuff-shirt, but I fail to see how a toddler witnessing a guy being brutalized for no apparent reason while her mommy and thousands of others watch gleefully without trying to rescue the guy, can have a positive effect on any toddler.
Did it actually happen?
Probably, but back then crucifixion was their version of lethal injection or the electric chair--Jesus was just one of many who pissed off the wrong prosecutors and politicians.
Call me a happy optimist, but I much prefer the yummy holiday dinner and chocolate bunny aspects of Easter.
My mom used to really throw herself into Easter.
My siblings and I all got great Easter baskets filled with huge chocolate bunnies, top-notch foiled chocolates and toys, and she'd make a fancy ham dinner and hide plastic Easter eggs containing quarters, dimes and nickels.
When I was really little, we had to go to Catholic Mass first and Mom would force me into a frilly dress, patent leather mary janes and a little saddle-like cap that would give me massive tension headaches.

Back then, mass was in Latin, so here's what I remember:

Priest: "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitor, sed diam nonumy eirmod..."
"Lorem e pluribus unim, foccacia dumdummm..."
"Sic semper tyrannis santo geico dingdong..."
"Spirituo santo, charlie mingus, ringading o tu eyore..."
(Repeat for 90 minutes)

My poor little vertebrae were pinched, bruised and cramped after all that get up, get down, stand up, sit down business. I just hated it, and having to look at gruesome statues of JC while it was going on didn't help.

By the time I was 10, my brother was going off to college and my sister was a hippie, so we stopped doing the mass thing and just skipped to the fun parts of Easter.
Mom passed away a few years ago, so this year I took the reins and put together spectacular Easter baskets for BigBro and his wife and BigSis and her partner My Sharona.
They regressed to childhood, making sure each basket weighed the same and contained the same amount (and quality) of stuff. When BigSis suspected that BigBro's basket contained one extra Lindt chocolate carrot covered in bright orange foil, she furiously started rifling through hers, looking for parity.
I thought about it on the hour and a half drive home.
If we're decent, honest people and lead lives in which we can feel pride (most of the time), why should we have to watch actors pretend to crucify another actor just because it's Easter?
Nah. Skip the Riz. Show me the bunny.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Rachel and Ana Marie Discuss Teabagging

If you're anything like most people, you just can't get enough teabagging.
There's just nothing better than cuddling up to a close ally and teabagging together.
With teabagging events all over Texas, I'm going to try to talk my sisters and brother into coming with me to teabag until we're exhausted.
Most lesbians are new to the teabagging concept, but how hard can it be?
Think of all the great Republicans you can meet teabagging.
Who wouldn't want to teabag Dick Cheney, George Bush or even Condi Rice?
It's time all Americans rally together, open their mouths and teabag for justice!
If teabagging is new to you, just ask Glenn Beck--he's a teabagging fool!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Mmm Spanish Tortilla Zipdrive.

My new business partners are from Madrid, and the wife is a gourmet cook who invites me to dinner at their house several times a week.
One of my favorite thing she makes is Spanish tortilla, basically an omelet with potatoes.
I decided to make a little one for myself for dinner. This recipe will serve two if there are sides, or one if that's all you're serving.
To increase the recipe, use a one egg to one small potato ratio, or two eggs to one baked potato-sized potato.
Don't use a skillet wider than your biggest plate. Trust me on this.


One Yukon Gold potato, peeled and sliced into thin, uniform slices
Two XL eggs, beaten like scrambled eggs
2 T. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Sea Salt
Freshly Ground Black Pepper
1 T. Fresh Rosemary, minced
1 T. Green Onions, tops only, sliced fine

Saute the potatoes in oil until soft but not golden brown
Cool the potatoes on a plate while you rinse and dry the non-stick 9" skillet
Once the potatoes are warm but not hot, return to the skillet
Pour the egg mixture over the potatoes, and sprinkle with S&P and herbs
Cook over medium heat until the edges start to come away from the pan
Flip the contents onto a large plate, then flip that, raw side down, back into skillet.
Cook another few minutes till you have a hunch it's done. Remove to a plate.
Cut into wedges like a pie.

It's really fast and simple but it's filling and delicious.
My friend leaves out the herbs, but that's up to you. You can add diced bacon or ham or grated cheese or sliced olives or whatever else you want, just don't overdo it because you want the eggs to stick to the potatoes.
Oh, For God's Sake.

How fitting is it that the GOP and other assorted rightwing nutters are planning nationwide tea parties protesting taxes? TEA stands for "Taxed Enough Already," presumably protesting rich people taking on a bigger tax liability due to Obama's common sense.

While the GOP are obviously ripping off the Boston tea party idea, where in 1773 disgruntled Americans threw crates of tea into the river to protest high tea taxes, I think the real reason they chose the tea party idea was because of modern day gay tea dances. I mean, it's no secret that the GOP has more self loathing, secret gays than Larry Craig's wet dreams.

My business partner Guillermo is a world renown computer programmer. We met while working for those crooks at my former company.
Through them, he met this Casper Milquetoast-style religious guy who was a potential investor.
After our former employer went bust, this religious guy sought out Guillermo to work with him and his cronies on their new rightwing web site.
This so-called religious guy is a strict constitutionalist, gun loving, woman hating, racist pig who refers to our President as "Obamanation."
He and his rich, white male cronies are but millions of hate mongering lunatics who want to stir up outrage, riots and a complete overthrow of the government.
After hearing his nutty shtick, my partner politely told him was was totally nuts and should go fuck himself.

So my friends, on April 15 when the news reports these innocent sounding tea parties throughout the nation, just bear in mind the organizers and attendees are vicious, unAmerican white guys who just cannot stand the idea of a Black man in charge.
In many ways, they are more insidious than a bar full of bikers high on meth.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Same Sex Marriage: What's All the Hubbub?

With all kinds of states suddenly lining up to legalize same sex marriage, naturally the news media and punditry are all over the story.
On my beloved MSNBC, anchors have asked a couple of obligatory right-wing naysayers their take on it.
"Most people, according to polls, want their legislatures to preserve the sanctity of marriage and don't want to disturb the sanctity by weakening it..."
Say what?
How the fuck is "allowing" gays and lesbians to marry disturbing or weakening any straight couple's marriage?
With the straight divorce rate hovering around 50 percent, what sanctity are they talking about?
I Googled some argument essays against gay marriage and was astounded by the ignorance I discovered. Why are people who preach divisiveness and intolerance always the first ones to mention Jesus and what he would want? Who are they to tell others what Jesus would have to say?
Now that we're in an era where we're transcending post-Bush fascism, we've learned that most legislation that deals with "morality" has to do with money.
Though queers pay taxes equal to straights, the naysayers gasp about the financial implications of married gay couples getting Social Security survivors' benefits, not to mention the economic horrors of corporate America having to include gay partners on company health insurance plans.
If these reactionaries would agree to cut gay and lesbian taxes commensurate to our reduced rights, that would be worth considering for many.
But please don't hand me any lines about religious prohibitions.
If God made us all, and some of us turned out gay, then who are we to question God's divine decision-making abilities? If gay sex is so sinful, why do I scream, "Oh God" so much when I'm having it?
For the record, I live in Texas, which will probably be among the last states to legalize same-sex marriage. Furthermore, the idea of marrying anyone holds no appeal to me.
But if an adult, taxpaying American wants to marry someone of the same sex, what's it to ya?
Back in the 50's, these same type of religious fanatic conservatives rallied against interracial marriage. Eventually, their objections were unmasked as racist and ridiculous, and laws were changed. America looks back on that era with embarrassment, as well they should.
Our time is coming.
We deserve the same crappy wedding cake and The Chicken Dance and YMCA played by a lousy disk jockey at our weddings.
We deserve the same Cuisinarts, china place settings and candy dish wedding gifts as straight people.
Listen. When Iowa legalizes same sex marriage, the rest of the country needs to wake the hell up.
The Bush era of neo-conservatives and religious wingnuts dictating their values to everyone and expecting obeyance are over.
Enough already!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Is She a Cunt or Does She Have a Snatch?
A splendid collaboration

Woo-hoo, such vulgar names, but today my gal-pal Lisa Golden (her blog "That's Why" is linked to the right) and I were gabbing on the phone about vulgar terminology and we thought, cunts n' snatches, what a great Blog idea!
See, there are cunts out there, and there are women whose vaginas can justifiably be called snatches because of their inherent, or at least probable, disgustingness.

Feel free to add people to this list, it might become a semi-regular feature:

Here goes:

Amy Winehouse:


Sarah Palin:


Condi Rice:

Cunt with a snatch.

Barbara Bush, Sr.: Snatch.

Ann Coulter:


Anna Nicole Smith:


Courtney Love:


Camilla Horseface:


Michelle Malkin: Cunt with a snatch.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Robert Gates and the Defense Budget

Secretary of Defense Robert Gates has spoken out about cutting some of the incredible fat out of the defense budget, causing the right-wing nutters to flip out and claim he's trying to undermine America's security.
We all know defense contractors and aerospace industries make billions off us tax payers--with huge defense contracts, cost overruns, no bid, secret contracts and other crooked stuff the right-wing just loves to lade them with, never questioning any of it. Why should they, when those industries contribute billions to their political campaigns and PACs?
Upon hearing Gates's remarks, I was reminded of this great cartoon Ben Cohen of Ben and Jerry's ice cream put together a few years back.
Watch it, then tell me why the government shouldn't cut back on superfluous defense spending. It's an oldie but I think it's worth another look. Enjoy.

Ben Cohen explains the Federal Budget using Oreo Cookies

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Mother Theresa, I Ain't

Let me start with a small confession.
I have mild clinical depression, so I take meds for it. When the symptoms return I see my doctor and change things up. Usually I stay Steady Freddy, but I do tend to isolate a bit. No big deal; I am one of millions.
Knowing that, BigSis called me in as a ringer to accompany her partner and her to a cheer-up dinner for her depressed friend Bunco.
Get this. Bunco is 40-years-old, with a master's degree, 15 years experience in legal affairs, and a very pretty face with a great smile. I used to call her Tiny Elvis (the young healthy Elvis) because she's got deep blue eyes and used to have dark, minky hair.
But she's so depressed right now, she's kinda toxic.
She got laid off.
The sneaky, three-month relationship she was having with a woman with a partner was discovered and came to an end. Mutual friends took sides and black-balled her.
Now she's here visiting her parents and stays in bed all day.
She looks like a three week old, yellow alstromeria wilting in a waterless vase.
While getting laid off was not her fault, her naughty relationship was a choice, with predictable consequences. You play, you pay.
Anyway, I trotted out my best comedy shtick and managed to get a few tiny smiles out of her, otherwise she sat there, hunched over and miserable.
After dinner, I just laid it on her. "Girl, you have serious depression. See a doctor and get a prescription for something that'll pull you out of this."
There's a time for sympathetic commiseration and a time to lay it on the line.
Bunco has a lot going for her. She's smart enough to get some help and do something about her own condition.
If someone is terribly depressed, there are tons of ways to treat it.
There's no need to expect friends to pull one out of it.
Saturday night spent with loved ones at a delicious Italian restaurant should be fun. It should not be an episode of the Dr. Phil Show.

Friday, April 03, 2009

The Unravelling of Another Rightwing Nutter

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These rightwing pundits just can't get crazy enough.
Between that bloviating gasbag Rush Limbaugh, the angry asshole Bill O'Reilly, bitter battle ax Ann Coulter, Miss "I hate you rong time" Michelle Malkin and those guttersnipe meat puppets at Fox News, it's hard to grab lunatic rightwing viewer ratings without a new gimmick.
Enter Glenn Beck, who's radical paranoia and flag sucking shtick was wearing so thin, he had to ramp things up by losing his mind right on the air over his latest rant, Americans losing "the spirit of 9/12."
He's reduced himself to on-air crocodile tears and stammering over the loss of American harmony like we shared the day after the 9/11 attacks.
Never mind that not too long ago he raged against 9/11 victims' families whom he perceived as whining ingrates, now he's so desperate to get his very own issue, he's decided on 9/12. Weak.
So nutty is his new obsession, he's about as believable as Lou Dobbs announcing that he's quitting the media to become a full-time coyote who supports the humane smuggling of illegal aliens over the Mexican border.
Often I think Stephen Colbert takes gags a little too far, but this time his exaggerated reaction to Beck's lunacy was spot-on. It was no sillier than Beck's desperate-for-ratings antics.
For God's sake, Beck, have you no shame?
America has a looming economic crisis, environmental perils and a crippling health insurance debacle, and you think it's a great time to literally cry on-the-air about the loss of 9/12's surge of patriotism?
What a desperate, pandering weasel this guy is.
If he's the newly revived voice of the radical right, going off the deep end for viewers by pulling cheesy stunts like this; hooray for our side.
Keep crying, Beck. You're breaking our hearts. :)
The Only Fair Thing to Do

Now that the Obama Justice System has erased the wrongful* felony convictions of former Alaska Republican Ted Stevens, some GOP members are crowing about how they should hold a special election so Stevens can run again against incumbent Democratic Sen. Mark Begich and possibly reclaim his Senate seat.
Nonsense, I say.
Begich won his seat fair and square, and besides, the Republican Bush Justice System screwed up Stevens's case to begin with.
There's only one fair solution for Stevens.
Name him Alaska's new Governor.

*Wrongful, my ass. Prosecutorial ineptitude allowed a guilty crook to go free.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Greetings From the Giant Americans

Aww, look at the gigantic young Americans greeting the shrunken British Royals.
Obama gave the Queen an iPod. She gave him an autographed photo. Which is the cooler gift?
Well, that would depend.
If Obama loaded it all by himself with a lot of cool R&B and funk, well, no contest.
Anyway, just when I thought Obama was cool in any situation, I heard the smalltalk he was forced to make with Liz n' Phil. Torture.
But how cool was it that Obama flew in his own ride? So what if it took up more space than three Eurocars and had to be moved from the Buckingham Palace driveway because it was blocking things up? It's still a cool ride.
Also, Barack and Michelle had to chitchat with Camilla. I hope Obama remembered to bring her an apple or a handful of oats as an ice breaker.

Somehow, seeing Michelle standing with Camilla didn't have quite the pizazz of Michelle and Princess Diana posing for pics. I wish we could have seen that.
The British royals have really gotten old and tired since Diana died.
Not to mention very, very tiny.