Thursday, December 30, 2010

Why I Stay Home on New Year's Eve

There are two types of people who go out on New Year's Eve: drunks who think every Saturday night is New Year's Eve, and moderate to non-drinkers who only go out and get drunk on New Year's Eve.
The latter order Chivas Regal & Coke, silly umbrella drinks and sugary wine spritzers.
The former will drink anything they can afford, and as much of it as they can hold.
Around 2 a.m. in most areas of the U.S., bars close and these pro and amateur drunks all stagger out to their cars and attempt to drive home.
Oh sure, there are cops aplenty to bust the drunkest of the lot, but how many sneak by the cops weaving, speeding and tail-gating like drunk monkeys? The rest of them, that's who.
Even going to a friend's house is out of the question.
If you don't drink a drop and stay until just after the stroke of midnight then leave immediately, you'll still be in the cross-hairs of drunken drivers who couldn't last past midnight.
In San Antonio there's another issue--lawlessness in terms of public fireworks detonation. Residential streets are perfect for launching fireworks of all sizes. Who wants to turn onto their street and run over a $39 chrysanthemum firework just as it's about to launch skyward?
One year a friend of mine had a party outdoors in her backyard. I skipped it, for obvious reasons, but a mutual friend ended up catching a bullet on top of her head because some drunk asshole in the vicinity fired a gun into the air to celebrate.
She had to be rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery to remove the bullet.
There are too many bad variables to get me out on New Year's Eve.
Besides, I may need to stand in my yard with a hose in case someone launches a firework that lands on my roof and starts a huge fire. I just hope I don't catch any idiot's celebratory bullets with my skull. :/

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Self Reflection...

Am I a gasbag?
Am I too opinionated, and too vocal about my opinions?
I recently met someone who described herself as tactful and polite, avoiding conflict at all times if possible.
We discussed a couple of people we know in common, both of whom are bitches.
I expressed why I thought they were bitches, based on past experiences with them.
I concluded: one was a grouchy old curmudgeon and one was batshit crazy.
My new friend thought that was harsh.
Lately I've been reading the teachings of the Buddha and reading the poetry of Rumi, neither of whom would call these two bitches bitches.
But I did.
Does that make me a devolved person?
Should I try to be nicer and less opinionated in 2011?

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas to All

I hope everyone has the kind of Christmas my family and I will be having--filled with peace, laughter, good food, presents and love.
I am so fortunate to have so much in my life, and my Christmas wish for all of you is the same good fortune.
See you soon,

Karen Zipdrive

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I'm not a football fan but I do love marching bands. This one from the University of Hawaii is really intense. Check it out.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Oh, No You Dihn't.
Oh, Yes I Did.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little worried about the right-wing and teabaggers amassing weapons and ammo for what, an eventual revolution?
Having expressed my concerns to my trusty pal Rowdy, she decided it was time she took me to the shooting range and taught me how to shoot an array of handguns.
She's a born Texan, an open minded GOP, a ranchwoman, fisherwoman, hunter and basically my polar opposite, although we share the same birthday.
If I were ever in a dark alley or foxhole or facing down a pack of growling wolves, she's whom I'd choose to get my back, because she's as tough as nails, in a very cute little package, and she would shoot anything or anyone who threatened us.

At her house, she carefully laid out part of her gun arsenal and selected for us:

1. A Smith& Wesson .22 revolver (USA)
2. A CZ 9mm (Czech Republic)
3. A Glock 19 9mm (Austria)
4. A gun she named Ms. November, a Springfield Armory Mil-Spec 1911-A1.45 caliber made in America.

Before we drove to the shooting range, she warned me that they were probably all going to be conservative rednecks who vote Republican, so I was not allowed to pop off at them or mention the assorted redneck bumper stickers that covered the pay booth, like, "Vegetarian Is An Old Native American Word For 'BAD HUNTER'." Oh, hardy har har. There were also plenty of anti-Obama stickers.

As you can see from the target, we killed the hell out of some imaginary bad guy.
I hit the X in the center first, and she was a little wowed by it. I sure as hell was. I actually strutted around a little afterwards.
Mostly I hit the torso and neck area, but Rowdy took care of the head and groin area pretty much by herself.

She has renamed me Caren Zipdrive because I liked shooting the CZ 9mm best. The .22 was the easiest for me to shoot, but when I compared the holes made by the larger caliber pistols, I found the CZ a lot more powerful and dangerous...therefore exciting in a barbarian sense.
I'm not saying I intend to go buy a gun or become a gun-nut, but with the way things are going in America with the crazy right-wing, I at least wanted to see if I could aim one.
We stood 21 feet from the target and fired about 200 rounds of ammo.
Just as we were finishing, who pulls up but my gun-nut neighbors Andy and Leeza from across the street!
They almost crapped to see me standing there amidst an arsenal of weapons and a pile of spent bullet butts (casings?)with earphones on and a big dumb grin on my face.
They showed us their kinda pissy little guns as we repacked Rowdy's cannons.
By the time I got home, Andy's next door neighbor George, who's a young Marine home on holiday leave, said to me, "Hey, I hear you're a real sharpshooter."
I want the people in my 'hood to think I'm an armed bad-ass.
Besides--look at the target. I AM a bad-ass.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

DADT Repeal: It's About Time.

Like some slaves being granted their freedom to leave the plantation, I hope we queers don't start kissing the massas's jackboots with gratitude.
Restoring or creating civil rights for all Americans is an imperative, not a favor or kindness.
If they want to put some teeth into the repeal of Don't Ask/Don't Tell, they could start by rehiring any ousted gays who want to rejoin the military.
They could amend any discharge papers that were less than honorable due to sexual orientation.
The repeal is halfway good- but the life partner of a gay soldier still has no rights as a spouse, and until that changes, we ain't quite there yet.
The good news is, at least a few Republicans voted for the repeal.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

What Have I Done to Deserve This, indeed.

Don't anybody say nuthin' about my Dusty Springfield. She may have been an ageing diva when she recorded this, but she was still a diva.

Friday, December 17, 2010

This One Goes Out to President Obama

Hint: the GOP ain't gonna give you the love you need, Boo.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

From Kelli Goff/HuffPo

Ten Things Michelle Obama Wants to Say to Sarah Palin

1. For once I agree with Barbara Bush.

2. At least I know the difference between North and South Korea.

3. If Katie Couric had asked me I could name plenty of publications that I read on a regular basis because reading is something you get used to doing in law school.

4. When I said I was proud of my country for supporting my husband, what I really meant is I was proud Americans were smart enough to support him over the other guys (and gals, hint, hint...)

5. Some people shoot harmless animals. I adopt them.

6. When you accused me of not trusting parents to do a good job raising their own children, you were only partially right. I trust most parents, but some could use a little help because their kids are out of control; you know calling people offensive slurs and whatnot. Not like my well-mannered girls.

7. While I realize a strong, attractive black woman defeated you for the Miss Alaska crown (which must have really stung since there are like 5 of us in the whole state) you shouldn't let that leave you with a chip on your shoulder about all of us strong, attractive black women.

8. Not that I'm judging, but Sasha and Malia will appear on "Dancing with the Stars" the day my husband goes ice-skating in hell with...well you.

9. Some people appear on reality tv, while some of us appear on the cover of VOGUE.

10. Please run for president. I'd really like to live in the White House another four years.

Monday, December 13, 2010

This One Goes Out to Naveen and Her Reluctant Boyfriend Lorenzo

Saturday, December 11, 2010

A New Tradition at Pulp Friction

I'm sick of politics, especially these days. I'm also sick of typing words that may or may not have any impact on anyone, including myself.
So, from today until I get bored with it, I want to take everyone on a visual voyage of beautiful, elegant, talented women in film, music and entertainment from around the world.
I kicked the door open with Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon's sensuous love scene from the film, "The Hunger."
Now I am pleased to present a photo montage of French superstar Fanny Ardant, who my Parisian friend told me about years ago. Please enjoy.

Straight: A Review

In "Straight, A Conversion Comedy," Playwright and wit David Schmader's one-man show explores the world of conversion therapy for gays and lesbians considering turning straight.
His wit and amazing articulation and perfect diction takes the audience from his happy life as a very frisky gay man through his oddly subversive curiosity about groups (mostly Christian-based) like Exodus, who claim they can turn an ordinary gay man into a woman lovin' straight guy, if only they accept the hoops they must jump through to get there.
In his detailed storytelling, he admits to posing as a straight wanna-be to infiltrate some of these gay-no-more groups, where nelly gay men try to play touch football and big dykes are taught to be more feminine, all for the love of Jesus and the desire to fit into "normal society."
Not so much hilariously funny, the play was witty with a few great zingers thrown in to keep the mostly gay audience engaged.
The San Francisco Weekly describes it as, "Fabulously intelligent, witty, risky and important."
Hyperbole aside, having never met a gay or lesbian seeking conversion to heterosexuality, it was interesting to see what some go through to please Jesus, their parents, or society in general.
Does his curiosity actually succeed in turning him straight, or was his participation just an undercover investigative effort?
Let's just say at the end, he still had plenty of friskiness about him.

Showing at The Trinity University Attic Theatre until Dec. 19, Thursday through Saturday at 8 p.m. Sunday matinee at 2:30 p.m. Tickets are $10 and $20.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Lookin' Good, Hillary

I like this recent photo of Hillary Clinton.
I like the longer hair and the intense expression on her face.
Looks presidential to me.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Light Sabers Are Not Real, Stupid.

President Pissy totally blew it today with his admonishment to the Democrats because they didn't like watching him take it up the ass by his daddies in the GOP.
I detested George W. Bush, but at least he was loyal to his base and never waivered.
This limp dishrag of a president needs to do the honorable thing, hand the reins over to Joe Biden and go apply for a job as a lecturer at a Southside Chicago Junior College.
Obama is taking the last remaining days of a House & Senate majority and inviting the GOP to start pissing all over them to get an early start.
There is NOTHING Obama can do to restore my faith in him.
Support him?
I don't even LIKE him anymore.

Elizabeth Edwards passed away today shortly after Obama's speech.
I think she heard him, rolled her eyes for the last time, and just let go.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

DeLay Was Brought Down by a Lesbian D.A.
From the Dallas Voice online.

In case you missed it, former House Republican Majority Leader Tom “the Hammer” DeLay was convicted the day before Thanksgiving on felony charges of money laundering for illegally funneling corporate dollars into Texas state legislative races in 2002.

DeLay, who represented a Houston-area House district from 1984 to 2005, faces up to life in prison but says he will appeal the verdict.

DeLay had a decidedly anti-gay voting record in Congress, receiving the worst possible score of zero from the Human Rights Campaign in each of his last two sessions. A year before his indictment and resignation, DeLay spoke on the House floor in support of a federal constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage:

“This nation knows that if you destroy marriage as the definition of one man and one woman, creating children so that we can transfer our values to those children and they can be raised in an ideal home, this country will go down,” DeLay said.

“So believe me, everybody in this country’s going to know how you voted today,” he said, his anger mounting with every word. “They’re going to know how you stood on the fundamental protection of marriage and the definition of marriage. And we will take it from here and we will come back, and we will come back, and we will come back. We will never give up. We will protect marriage in this country.”

Given DeLay’s record on gay rights, perhaps there’s some poetic justice to the fact that the district attorney who obtained the conviction, Rosemary Lehmberg, is an out and proud lesbian. Lehmberg, a Democrat, was elected to replace Travis County District Attorney Ronnie Earle, who initiated DeLay’s prosecution, after Earle retired in 2008. Before that, Lehmberg served as Earle’s first assistant for 10 years in the office that’s home to the state’s Public Integrity Unity, which is charged with investigating corruption in government.

Of course, DeLay’s prosecution had no more to do with Lehmberg’s sexual orientation than it did with her party affiliation, and none of the stories we’ve seen about his conviction even mention it.

Which is why we thought we would.

“I think that I serve as an individual who demonstrates that sexual orientation is not particularly relevant, except to your personal life, and therefore a lot of the homophobia and bias is unwarranted — the fear that people have,” Lehmberg told us following her election in 2008.

Friday, December 03, 2010

Obama's Surprise Visit to Afghanistan

I think it was a good move for Obama to pay a surprise holiday visit to the troops stationed in Afghanistan. Any time a president commits our troops to war, he needs to risk the danger of going there in person to see what his decision is costing Americans who serve in the armed forces.
Wouldn't it be nice if he could have also said hello and thank you to troops who are openly gay and serving as patriotic soldiers?
Obama could have, and should have, rectified this flagrant human rights and constitutional rights violation against gay tax paying citizens.
Some may say he can't win for losing.
But he needs to right this wrong and quit fucking around with it.
I know dozens of gays and lesbians who have served or are serving in the military with honor. To deny them equal rights is dishonorable and disgraceful.
It's one more thing Obama needs to do before he regains liberal and progressive support. Until then, he's no different than religious fundamentalists, tea baggers and the rest of those intolerant fools.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

I've Had It With This Chump

The right-wing must love this weak little puppet.
They demand, he caves.
Tax cuts for the mega wealthy? Done.
His refusal to investigate and prosecute the Bush war criminals? No problem.
He's got no backbone, he's boring and he lied to get elected.
We backed a liberal, we got a moderate, quasi Republican.
Back in 2008 I got my ass handed to me by fellow liberals because I wanted Hillary Clinton to be president. At least I could count on her to stand up to the scumbag Republicans, but no.
You wanted change? You didn't get it with this clown Obama.
I don't care who runs against him in the next primary, they have my vote.
Obama is the worst Democratic president in history.
He's a Republican.
He's worthless to us.
Hillary would have done a much better job. Sure she's a bitch, but she would have been our bitch and that counts for something.