Friday, October 31, 2003

News Salad Blog

1. "NY TIMES: WASHINGTON (Oct. 31)” Saddam Hussein may be playing a significant role in coordinating and directing attacks by his loyalists against American forces in Iraq, senior American officials said Thursday. The officials cited recent intelligence reports indicating that Mr. Hussein is acting as a catalyst or even a leader in the armed opposition, probably from a base of operations near Tikrit, his hometown and stronghold. A leadership role by Mr. Hussein would go far beyond anything previously acknowledged by the Bush administration..."

Gee, does this mean the MISSION ACCOMPLISHED sign behind Dubya's head on that aircraft carrier was incorrect? Does this mean Saddam is still out there, fighting us? Didn't the president assure us his reign was over?
What nonsense.
Basically, we've spent $30 billion in Iraq to knock over a few statues. More American soldiers have died after the war than during the war. Anyone who said before the war that attacking Iraq was a good idea was wrong.

2. NPR recently ran a long piece about Donald Rumsfeld losing his mojo. Several news agencies also have questioned his abilities. Just go here for the real mojo:
Rummy Talks

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Survivor Prediction!

Tonight some of the booted cast members will be back to haunt the survivors. They were all pretty bland, so I don't expect too many fireworks.
As for the latest boots, in the Drake tribe, Rupert will be plenty pissed at Jon for voting against him last week, so he may go after him. On the other hand, Shawn is pretty worthless too, so he may get the ax.
Real pirates would just kill the creepy tribe members and eat them or use them for bait, but I guess killing Jon is more than we can ask.
As for the Morgan tribe, hell, I just don't know. Smart money would bet on getting rid of Andrew because he's the most powerful. But the Morgans aren't smart. Common sense would be to dump Ostin because he's such a puss, but the Morgans haven't got much common sense, either. I still bet on Tijuana, for the sole reason that she pronounces her name "Tah WANNA" and that just irks me.

Monday, October 27, 2003

Electile Dysfunction

Hear me now and believe me later!
When the 2004 election rhetoric starts getting hot and heavy, the GOP are going to be hammering away at one issue to take the voter's minds off the messes Bush and his ilk have made: GAY MARRIAGE.
Ask about Iraq? They'll wedge in gay marriage. Ask about the economy? Gay marriage! Ask about skyrocketing medical costs and no affordable insurance coverage for millions of Americans? Gay marriage!
Yes, even though the Democratic platform doesn't endorse gay marriage and probably won't, watch, the GOP will speak as if electing a Democrat will force every American man, woman and child into taking part in gay marriages and registering at Home Depot and Sak's Fifth Avenue to buy gay wedding gifts for queers they don't even know.
Equality for gays and lesbians won't be the issue. Mention civil rights equality for gays to a GOP hopeful and they'll mention the Bible, then of course, gay marriage.
Fine, then let us queers pay gay taxes.
We can deduct a percentage for each right denied us as American citizens because we are gay. Seem fair? Yeah, right.
Gay marriage will the magic bullet the GOP uses to scare impressionable conservatives into continuing to support the regressive crooks who currently hold office, and electing new crooks to continue looting and pillaging our tax dollars.

Friday, October 24, 2003

Halliburton: Major Crooks, Shielded by The Resident

As everyone knows, Halliburton is a mega construction company, once fronted by Dick Cheney.
Now that the U.S. is rebuilding Iraq, Halliburton was awarded billions in contracts without having to bid for them. The contents and terms of the contracts were shielded from public view, citing "national security reasons."
Halliburton is accused of price gouging.
For instance, a sheet of plywood costing around $15 at Home Depot runs around $89 when Halliburton sells it to us for use in Iraq.
A gallon of gas Halliburton sells us to use in Iraq is running around $1.65 a gallon, whereas gas they truck in from Syria runs about 89 cents a gallon.
Halliburton has a $7 billion, no-bid contract they snagged from the Bush administration.
And nobody is acting like we're getting screwed, and nobody is demanding that Bush tell us why Cheney's company didn't have to bid for this sweetheart deal and doesn't have to tell us what's in the deal.
Criminals are leading our nation and nobody's raising hell.
Clinton was impeached for lying about a blow job, and Bush is screwing all of us and nobody's saying anything.
Has everyone gone mad?

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Survivor Hunch!

Gee, so many complaints that all I Blog is Survivor crap now...
Sorry, I am busy these days with this annoying thing called work. These people give me money to write things for them, but the trouble is they want everything on their terms.
Feh! Now they insist on these things called deadlines. Sheesh.
Anyway, tonight as my best friend Anna and I scarf down pizza and watch the hapless castaways vie to stick around, it's time to pick the likely losers.
On Drake, I pick Jon. I just can't stand him, that's why. Or Sandra. She's bitchy. Still, with the way they pick, I guess Shawn will be the real loser. So make my guess Shawn.
On Morgan, I think it's time to send Tijuana on her way. No reason, other than that silly name Tijuana. Ostin the wuss should go, but he's still exempt for some reason.
An AOL poll predicts Rupert will win it all, with 75% of the vote. Next up is Andrew, with only 5%. The rest are all around 2%. What a bunch of losers.
Who are you picking tonight?

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Survivor Update!

With Rupert consigned to the motley Morgan tribe, I'm sure things will be magically transformed at their dumpy camp. Rupert will build them a nice split level home, catch them a school of fish, show them how to smoke the fish to preserve it for the duration of the show,
make them all new outfits and create outdoor Malibu lights out of electric eels.Then he'll counsel the tribe until Osten is strong and brave, Darrah loses her horrible accent, Andrew becomes modest and nurturing, Tijuana becomes demure, and Ryan O becomes an expert fisherman using only a sharp stick.
Meanwhile, the Rupertless Drake tribe will come unglued. A storm will flatten their shelter. Wild monkeys will steal all the treasure
chest booty.Jon will be beaten half to death in the dark and all of them will be suspects. Sandra will flip out and attack Shawn. The other girls will start picking on Trish for being middle aged. Trish will start an early menopause from the stress and scare all the fish out of the cove from her piercing screams.
I predict Drake will lose the immunity challenge and they will vote off Jon, if he's still alive. If not Jon, then Sandra,
If Morgan loses, say bye bye to Tijuana. Darrah is still too pretty to get the boot and Tijuana has too much 'tude.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Delicious Bloggy Bits

I don't have enough to say about any single topic, so I'll just get random on you.

-My personal training sessions have been going great. I've lost only 8 pounds so far, but I've lost a few clothing sizes, several inches, and my body looks and feels totally different now.
My trainer Willie is a buff, black body builder who loves it when I wear the Roots T-shirts I got in Canada to train in. He thinks it's Roots, as in the Alex Haley book and miniseries about slavery. When I wear them, he calls me Kunta Kinte and assumes I am willing to work really hard on those days.
I've started endurance training, where I move from bench pressing to machines and back to bench pressing very quickly. It burns calories and builds muscles almost in double time. I am up to bench pressing 65 pounds. I even wear little black leather lifting gloves now! I can't recommend it enough for people who like to eat normally and hate to diet. It really chews up the calories and keeps my glucose levels below 100, which are well within normal, non-diabetic range.

-After a few brief dips in the road, I am still seeing my girlfriend la. She's starting to come around in some areas, like appreciating shoe shopping as a deeply spiritual experience, and the joys of wearing something besides jeans and shorts to dinner.
Experts say the shopping virus cannot be passed through intimate contact, but we have disproved that theory.

-Summer is over in South Texas and life is normal again. My pecan tree out back is spewing out bushels of fat pecans, my air conditioning is off, and my cats are starting to get snugly again. Best news is, my hair is finally dry after being damp from humidity since May.

-Our queer high holy day, Halloween, is neigh. I was invited to a schnitzy gay masquerade ball, but they insist on guests wearing masks as a condition of being admitted. I wear glasses, I can't do masks. Instead, I think I'll spend the evening handing out goodies while la takes her kids trick or treating. Since candy is bad for kids, again this year I'll be handing out free America Online CD's that I'll gather from every store counter in town. Just kidding- but it would be funny.

-While I was busy taping Survivor episodes for her over the last three weeks, my best friend Anna was in Ethiopia. She witnessed the country's first open heart surgery while she was there, but I stayed behind doing the important business of guessing who would be booted off Survivor next.

-The more I hear about OxyContin, the narcotic Rush Limbaugh is in rehab trying to kick, the more convinced I am he was doing all that right wing blathering while he was too stoned to have any sense. I wonder if, when he gets clean, he'll make more rational statements? Nah- after years of being stoned out of his mind he'll probably have brain damage and continue to pimp for the right
wing. Remember when he ragged on Clinton about not inhaling?
Yep. Paybacks are a bitch, Rush.

Monday, October 13, 2003

Making a Great Exit

Hats off to ousted California Governor Gray Davis, who used his final stretch in office to sign a bill enacting a measure that will require large companies with state contracts to offer domestic partners the same benefits as spouses.
Democrats called this measure a victory for fairness and civil rights.
Republicans said it would trample the rights of employers who objected to gay relationships.
Yeah, in the 60's some employers in the Deep South objected to treating Negroes the same as white folks, and they too balked over legislation that ensured equal treatment.
History has shown that small minded hatemongers need legislation to compensate for their lack of conscience and socially regressive mindsets.
Governor-Elect Arnold Schwarzenegger had asked Davis to sign no more bills before leaving office, but he acknowledged Davis' right to do so.
With Arnold's ties to gays in show business, plus his legendary, earlier debt to gay men who supported his freakish body building career, one would think he'd agree with the measure.
Alas, Republicans rarely advocate for the will of the people over that of big business interests.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Rush 'OxyContin' Limbaugh, and that other Creep

Finally, the extreme right's greatest gasbag has done something right.
He's publicly admitted being addicted to narcotic pain killers.
That the drugs have clearly addled his brain notwithstanding, he was wise to cop to it and be done with the relentless rumors.
Of course, he's probably seeking treatment to avoid criminal prosecution over buying them in bulk illegally over the Internet, but still he was wise to fess up and face the public's notoriously short memory.
Maybe now he won't feel entitled to have such a holier than thou attitude.
He's just a regular hophead now, not unlike Robert Downey, Jr. or Courtney Love.
No wonder he made those lamebrained remarks about that black quarterback and how the media was kissing his ass. He was probably zoned out on OxyContin when he spoke, which as I mentioned is a powerful and addictive narcotic pain killer.
Oh well, he may catch a little humility as he kicks his addiction.
Yeah, right.

Meanwhile in Colorado, Kobe Bryant's preliminary hearing in the rape case has provided the public with some pretty gruesome details about the "alleged" rape.
Bryant has been quoting a lot of Biblical scripture lately, and sporting a new arm tattoo of Psalm XXVII, spelled out in its 23-word entirety.
He also wears a huge cross around his neck and tells anyone who'll listen he's all about God first, family second and basketball a distant third.
Amazing how he's never mentioned religion before. Gee, I wonder how the spirit has suddenly filled his soul?
Uh huh.
Anyway, back at the preliminary hearing:
According to the reporting officer's testimony, Bryant raped the victim while he held by her by the neck over a chair, and took her from behind. She was reported to have vaginal tearing, bruising and facial bruises upon examination by medical personnel.
This so-called consensual sex all happened within about a 20-minute time frame.
Even a diehard groupie would probably take umbrage being unceremoniously boinked from behind over a chair like a $10 blowup doll, then tossed out on her ass, all within 20 minutes.
Bryant was said to have been found with her blood on the front hem of his shirt. You know, sort of where blood would land if he was raping her from behind.
That she was a hotel employee doing her job as a concierge kind of dispels the groupie image. A concierge is supposed to cater to the rich and powerful with things like personal tours of the facilities and all. So what if she was kind of wowed that the famous Kobe Bryant was paying her attention?
She admitted consensually kissing and hugging him. Hey, she's a 19-year-old girl, she probably wanted to tell her pals she made out with Kobe.
But I think if she'd consented to sexual intercourse, she might have wanted to do it in his bed, and not thrown ass-up over a chair and shtupped from behind until her vaginal flesh was ripped.
Reporters said Bryant was looking quite uncomfortable, and even cringing, when the police officer gave his testimony.
He should be uncomfortable. Even sports pundits who adore him are saying this doesn't look very good for him.
And his female lawyer?
She mentioned the victim's name at least six times in court, in flagrant violation of Colorado law designed to protect the anonymity of rape victims.
This same victim has already had her life threatened by crazed Lakers fans, so one would think she might be extra edgy about having her name repeatedly dragged through court.
The judge finally cleared the courtrrom when Bryant's sleazeball of a whorebag lawyer asked the police officer if the vaginal tearing was similar to what would occur after having rough sex with three different men in as many days.
I am glad Bryant's being tried in Colorado. They have excellent rape laws there, designed to protect the victim, not the rapist.
If Bryant were tried in Los Angeles, like O.J. Simpson, he'd be exonerated and hailed as a conquering hero.
I hope when this is all over, Kobe takes a shine to his attorney's teenage daughter and decides to "date her" for 20 minutes or so.
Lucky gal. Too bad she'll have her back turned and miss the romance of it all.

Friday, October 10, 2003

Survivor Recap

The reason they filmed Survivor Panama in advance was to stop us from flying to their remote locale to kill Jon the skinny, curly headed dork.
Sandra, the rough Latina from the Drake tribe, is being driven crazy by everyone. "I'm getting tired of hearin' tha crap, he don' geet up early, we geet up early and he's still esleepin. My day is ruin now, hearin tha crap."
Hey Sandra, Rosie Perez called and said she wants her accent back.
Burton, the pretty boy, was pissing Rupert Hagrid off. A man doesn't like to hear his skirt criticized constantly, and Burton was relentless. So what if Rupe's crack was showing? The man can fish.
When Drake won a funky old sewing machine in the reward challenge, Rupert made himself a lovely, khaki a-line skirt. I'll bet San Franciscan Burton was jealous over Rupert's couture savvy.
Osten, from the loser Morgan tribe, again showed his incredible pussyosity by nearly drowning, and needing Andrew and Ryan to save him during the challenge. Someone, please send him back to his Mama. He's a Vienna sausage disguised as a big salami.
When Drake located their buried treasure, instead of rejoicing, Jon the blonde creep bitched because something stinky leaked on all the blankets and stuff.
He called it a Ghetto Christmas and listed everything that "smelled like crap."
So, the winning Drake tribe decided to blow the immunity challenge so they could thin out the herd. When they lost, the loser Morgan tribe got to take Rupert as their temporary tribesman.
Natural selection would have chosen Jon to be ousted from the Drakes, but for some odd reason, they gave pretty boy Burton the boot. On behalf of my gay male friends, I am sorry. On behalf of the rest of us, I am sorry because it means having to watch more of that idiot Jon.
In addition to being Barney Fife of the schemers, Jon also uses excess dude-slang, like "awesome," "stoked" and "feeling funky like a monkey." He also proved that alcohol plus a skinny wimp equals legendary televised creepiness.
At tribal council, where Jon was still drunk and mouthy, Jeff Probst asked if he was being too cavalier, then gave him a classic look that could kill.
If only!

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Survivor Ticklers

I hear gossip.
Andrew and Ryan from the loser Morgan tribe get lost in the jungle without water. Of course, with cameras on them they can't be that lost, but this is TV not rocket science.
One tribe is said to discover buried treasure- but it's probably not good treasure like a case of Snickers or some juice boxes. It's probably some rusty old blunderbuss.
At tribal counsel, someone is drunk on whiskey and makes a spectacle of himself.
That clue alone tells me the Drake tribe will be at Tribal Counsel and Hagrid will be the drunk and rowdy guy. If that's the case- buh bye to Jon the curly blonde geek.
If it's Morgan again, bye to Darrah or adios to Tequila. Or Tijuana. Whatever.
Place your bets, folks.

Saturday, October 04, 2003

Not About Bush or Survivor

Okay, since all I ever Blog about these days are one of those two topics, I will now attempt to change the subject, with some random observations.
- There is no reasonable way to wear a sweater draped over one's shoulders without looking like a clown. The catalogs all feature that look to sell more sweaters, but in real life that look lacks functionality and makes the wearer look like he or she wants to be Jackie O.
-How many catalogs do LL Bean, Eddie Bauer and Land's End think I need per week?
-My ex girlfriend told me she was initially impressed with her new lover because she didn't trash her ex. She went on to say her new lover doesn't think much of me, in fact she has an intense dislike for me. Must have been something she heard, since we don't know each other. Isn't that ironic?
-I just enrolled in a great new phone plan that allows me free long distance calls all the time. Send me your number- let's talk.
-A friend of mine just moved into a great but funky old apartment. The window air conditioners send out dog-scented air. How can that be eliminated?
-No matter how much you work out or how developed your muscles have become, moving furniture will always end up hurting your back.
-Kids will eat anything if it's shaped like a dinosaur.
-Why did Sears stop selling popcorn and warm, roasted nuts?
-The weapons inspectors didn't find any WMD's in Iraq during the course of their search. Now they want more time and millions more in funding to continue the search. That's like the termite inspector coming to your house, inspecting, finding nothing then suggesting they keep checking once a week just in case.
-Rush Limbaugh had a constitutional right to make those racist comments on ESPN. They cost him his job, but I defend his right to make an ass of himself. Maybe it was the illegal pain killers that made him do it. I noticed he didn't have much to say about THAT topic.
-If Shwartzenegger gets elected, California deserves him. I used to kind of like him, but with the recent dirt coming out on him he seems pretty creepy. I remember seeing him as a weightlifter back when I lived at Venice Beach in the 70's. I thought he was just one of the gay muscle boys back then.
-Roy of Siegfried and Roy was attacked and critically injured by a tiger during a show at the Mirage. Roy, the brunette, is still in the hospital. The tiger assailant was making his stage debut when he attacked him. Perhaps they should sell him to Mike Tyson.

Thursday, October 02, 2003


I think maybe Sandra the spicy Latina will get the ax tonight if the Drake tribe has to vote someone off. Or maybe goofy Jon- he's just annoying in general. If it's Morgan (again) I think the old scoutmaster Lillian will be eliminated. The fire is started, they don't need her anymore.
Your guesses?