Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Zogby Poll Says Obama's Ahead

I haven't decided yet who to pull for in the next presidential election--well, I mean which Democrat to pull for--but I found this poll interesting.
I could easily vote for Barack Obama. How about you?

Here's how he and the other Democratic hopefuls match up against GOP hopefuls:

Possible match-ups - 2008 U.S. presidential election

Rudy Giuliani (R) 42% - 48% Barack Obama (D)
John McCain (R) 43% - 46% Barack Obama (D)
Mitt Romney (R) 35% - 52% Barack Obama (D)
Fred Thompson (R) 35% - 52% Barack Obama (D)

Rudy Giuliani (R) 48% - 43% Hillary Rodham Clinton (D)
John McCain (R) 47% - 43% Hillary Rodham Clinton (D)
Mitt Romney (R) 40% - 48% Hillary Rodham Clinton (D)
Fred Thompson (R) 41% - 48% Hillary Rodham Clinton (D)

Rudy Giuliani (R) 47% - 43% John Edwards (D)
John McCain (R) 46% - 41% John Edwards (D)
Mitt Romney (R) 36% - 50% John Edwards (D)
Fred Thompson (R) 40% - 48% John Edwards (D)

Rudy Giuliani (R) 50% - 35% Bill Richardson (D)
John McCain (R) 52% - 31% Bill Richardson (D)
Mitt Romney (R) 37% - 40% Bill Richardson (D)
Fred Thompson (R) 40% - 39% Bill Richardson (D)

Source: Zogby International

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Some Celebrity Observations and More

By now all my regular readers (both of them) know I am obsessed with certain celebrities and TV shows.
My most recent addiction has been "Dancing With the Stars." Oh, how I surprised myself squealing like a girl when certain contestants performed.
In fact, last week I went to watch the Spurs game with a butch friend of mine and we both admitted we preferred to watch "Dancing" and switch over to the game just to get the score.
I think Anton Apolo Ohno deserved to win, as much as Joey Fatone or Laila Ali deserved it. How I came to love all three of them. Google the phrase "brick house" and you'll see Laila wearing that red dress.
But now they must recast the show and I have at least one brilliant suggestion for the IDEAL contestant.
Clues: She loves to dance, she's in good shape, America loves her despite her eccentricities and she'd be very entertaining.
Yep- it's Ellen DeGeneres. I can just picture her with a hot female dance partner, wearing the same little suits as the boy contestants wear. Admit it, America, with Ellen on that show you'd all watch the hell out of it. I bet even Vermont Lulu would spring for a little flatscreen and break her TV boycott.

I read that demi-celebrity Lindsey Lohan recently bumped her car into a utility pole and landed in the hospital with injuries. The police suspected drugs and/or alcohol were involved in the wee hours accident.
Whoa, didn't she just get out of rehab?
For such a youngster, she's really outpaced her scumbag celebri-girl posse as an up and coming girl Nick Nolte. Damn, she needs to hire a driver. I hear Minnie Driver has some time on her hands.

Speaking of vehicular menaces, maybe it's menopause or maybe it's my new, much faster car but I am about to commit road rage-related assault. It seems the entire city has been notified that if they are on a side road and see me coming, it is now a law to pull out in front of me and go real slow while they gleefully watch me stomp my brakes until they smoke. Same goes for the fast lane. Rule of thumb, if you're moseying along in the fast lane at 55 mph and you see a car approaching at 85 mph with their bright lights flashing, move the hell over.

And one more thing. By now, do you think I could get by with it if I went ahead and keyed or otherwise defaced vehicles that are still displaying pro-Bush bumper stickers?
There's a big ass mini-van in my office parking lot with a sticker that says, "I'd rather go hunting with Dick Cheney than ride with Teddy Kennedy." Whenever I see it I want to etch in the windshield, "Please do."

Now that Rosie O'Donnell has had her final meltdown on "The View," there's talk that Barbara Walters wants to draft Roseanne Barr as her replacement. That's too predictable. I say hire Lindsey Lohan. Have her come on the show as fucked up as she wants- let her put Grey Goose in her coffee mug and blow in the candy dish. Come on, it's all about controversy and ratings so give the people what they want. Let her conduct all the "serious" interviews n' stuff.

Speaking of great television moments, at the moment I am feasting my ears and the corners of my eyes on "The Simple Life," where Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie have gotten jobs at some small town Sonic Drive-in.
Just before they were issued the requisite hairnets, they were asked to fill out their paperwork. Both got stumped on the "how many dependents do you want to claim" portion of the form.

When they were tasked with putting up the new sign letters, they put, "Half price anal salty weiner bugars all day."

Let's face it, America. We are fucked.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Gas Prices

Please note that gas prices went down during the last election and now they are at record highs. The state paying the most? Blue California. The American city paying the most? Blue Chicago.
If you think Bush and Condi Standard Oil Rice aren't behind this, you're fucking nuts.
Congress should have demanded an investigation of this price gouging years ago.
When Bush entered office in 2001, gas in Texas was 99 cents a gallon. Now it's close to $3 a gallon.
That fucking crook doesn't even have the sense to pork barrel his own (adopted) state.
I'm starting to eye the Prius really seriously.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Wolfowitz: Another One Bites the Dust

The question of the day--does George W. Bush have ANY associates who aren't liars, opportunists and snivelers?
I often write about neo-cons and Bushians who've proven to be shady characters. They all have one common trait: an overblown sense of entitlement. Rules don't apply to them. They either break the rules of change them to suit their purposes.
If Paul Wolfowitz had been a Democrat brokering a sweetheart deal for his unattractive Middle Eastern girlfriend, with whom he is presumably sleeping sans marriage, the right-wing and Fox News would be all over this story. They'd shout it from the rooftops.
But, no. This is just one more Bush buddy who's been caught.
Like a house full of cockroaches, they keep getting caught, one at a time. But how many more are there?

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Tinky Winky Sez: "Adios MoFo"

"The Reverend" Jerry Falwell is dead.
He's the one who claimed cartoonish children's character Tinky Winky was gay, because he's lavender and carries a purse.
He also was the lead crackpot in launching America's anti gay movement.
He blamed 9-11 on queers, in fact.
Now he's dead.
Am I glad he's dead?
Well, I suppose I should be the bigger person and say something conciliatory.
But that's not the way he played it in life, and it's not the way I'll play it just because he's dead.
As I see it, one hate mongering clown who hid in Jesus's skirts while he preached hatred and intolerance is finally silenced. Just goes to show you, time wounds all heels.

Good luck on judgment day, you fat, evil bastard. I hope you wore something scratchy and woolen.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day, Mama

I am blessed to have a very nice, laid-back family and a mother who's still alive and kicking at age 94. I spent the day at my brother Billy's sweet little lake house with my siblings, my friend Eclair and my mother.

Mama showed up with my sister in her new, periwinkle blue Mercedes convertible.

Folks, this is how you live to be 94--by taking giant bites out of life.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama. I love you.
(click on the pic for a clearer view)

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

OJ: Eat Somewhere Else, Murderer

I was thrilled to hear murderer O.J. Simpson was asked to leave a Louisville steakhouse by its owner Jeff Ruby the day before the Kentucky Derby.
Predictably, Simpson's lawyer Yale Galanter plans to sue the owner for "racism."
In order to claim racism, wouldn't O.J. first have to be part of the human race?
It's really very simple.
A jury of starstruck militant downtown Los Angelinos found him not guilty in his criminal trial, but a group of his upscale peers in another jurisdiction found him responsible for the murders of his ex wife and her friend in a civil trial.
Therefore, it is perfectly legitimate to refer to him as a murderer.
As such, it's entirely legitimate for a restaurateur not to want to serve a murderer while his law abiding customers would have to watch the murderer tuck into a bloody chunk of prime beef.
As Simpson and his party of a dozen enablers voluntarily left the restaurant after Simpson was asked to go, more than 100 customers in the restaurant rose from their seats and gave Mr. Ruby a standing ovation.
Though I prefer that someone would have already shot Simpson in the head, throwing his vile, murderous ass out of a steak house was a step in the right direction.
He's a rabid animal with a crazed sense of entitlement and entirely without conscience.
If Mr. Ruby needs a legal defense fund, I'm in.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Back to the Basics

I live in an urban neighborhood that's trying to turn into an artist's enclave, but it's not quite there yet.
In fact, I am about the only non-100% Mexican American in the 'hood. Still, I like the diversity and all the fucked up, low rider cars and the mix of poverty with Muppies moving in and fixing up their houses.
About a quarter mile from me is the Deco District H-E-B, a supermarket that's part of a huge chain here in Texas.
For fancy groceries, I travel four miles away to H-E-B Central Market, where they have 700 kinds of beer, 20 varieties of apples and 1,000 kinds of cheese. But for bread and soy milk and the usual box of cereal or case of water, the Deco District H-E-B suits me just fine.
I went out for a few groceries this evening, and there in front of the store was a Mexican man, likely illegal, tending a modest silver barbecue barrel. I asked what was in it and the man said, "Roasted corn." I ordered one and he asked what I wanted on it. He had chili powder, lime flavored chili powder, butter, lemon pepper, salt, black pepper and some kind of liquid reddish stuff that probably would take the paint off a car in two seconds flat.
I asked for butter only. No salt, nothing but butter, which was probably margarine anyway.
The man selected a large, perfectly roasted ear, jammed a nice clean stick in one end, cradled it in a piece of foil and squirted butter on one side. I reached out to get it and he said, "No, wait. I have to do the other side."
He painstakingly buttered the other side, folded the foil over it and handed it to me, along with a nice little white paper napkin. I gave him his two bucks, stuck it in my grocery bag and drove home.
Once I arrived home, I removed the foil and sprinkled some nice, grainy sea salt over it.
I bit into it and tasted sunshine and rain and buttery sweetness that can only be found in a perfect ear of spring corn. The kernels popped off the cob and into my mouth in neat rows.
Yeah, big deal, it was an ear of corn bought off a wetback for twenty times what it cost him.
But it represented the ingenuity of a simple man, scraping out a living by selling one modest product at a temporary location, probably breaking ten municipal laws in the process.
A Mexican American wouldn't waste his time selling corn in front of a grocery store, not when he can earn $17 an hour at the local Toyota plant.
With all the hatred from the right aimed toward illegals, it seems clear they've never experienced the innocent pleasure of a perfectly roasted ear of corn, bought off a card table next to a 50-gallon drum turned into a barbecue pit.
They cannot appreciate the entrepreneurial skills of a man with a stake of next-to-nothing.
But I can, and I did.
And for only two bucks, my one-item dinner tonight was absolutely delicious.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

The Republicon Debate: An Open Letter

Dear Republicon Presidential Candidates:

Having read about the recent debate, I have to ask a question. Do you all realize that Ronald Reagan is dead and he's neither coming back nor channeling his 'wisdom' via you? I wonder.
When candidates have nothing fresh to offer, and have to walk on eggshells lest they offend one of the many factions of extremist nuts in their party, I can see why they'd want to hide behind a safe haven like Republicon folk hero Ronald Reagan.
Never mind that he was fully senile before he left office, and forget about Iran Contra, where he traded the Iranian hostage takers cash and guns for our 53 hostages and diverted the money to the Contras in illegal defiance of Congress, Reagan was the last Republicon any of you louses can point to as a winner.
But Reagan is dead and the current Republicon in the Oval Office has led a totally disastrous administration of bullies, liars, crooks and scumbags.
Yep, you war mongering, racist, queer hating, Bible thumping bunch of frauds have nothing to offer voters but more of the same maudlin, delusional policies that got us in this mess to begin with.
You invoke the ghost of Senile Ronnie while your true hero and partner in crime is ultra-rightwing foreigner Rupert Murdoch, who owns Fox News and is bent on world domination of all things media.
Please, do yourselves a favor and stop mentioning Ronald Reagan. He led this nation into record deficits it took the Democrats years to eliminate. His Hollywood-inspired gunslinger image was as real as the character he played in "Bedtime for Bonzo," and he left morons like W the inspiration to emulate him.
Your major candidates are adulterers, Bush sycophants and panderers without a fresh idea among them.
But truthfully, I can see why you all clung to the Reagan lifeboat as tightly as you did.
As much as I loathed that crooked old bastard, he was a better man than the lot of you.