Octopussy: My Take On It



While it's pretty obvious the cheese slipped off this broad's quesadilla about 12 kids ago, what is even more obvious is the need to strip her accomplice of his medical license.
Or is that just the obvious solution?
No. In pondering it further, wouldn't it make more sense for him to have to serve as a carefully supervised prison doctor and donate the lion's share of his salary to the care and feeding of Nadya Suleman's 14 kids he helped create?
Now she's hired a publicist and created a web site to help her beg for money from hapless do-gooders.
I can certainly see pitching in for a destitute mother who had multiple births naturally, but for this woman?
No.
She and her quack of a doctor knew what they were risking and it didn't matter.
Trying to rear 14 kids in a dirty, cramped home without enough income or mental stability to rear even one kid is just not in the kids' best interest.
California needs to step in and find suitable homes for these poor little souls. Sure, that's a draconian measure, but when you consider this woman was insane enough to want that many kids without a whit of regard for the consequences of her choice, well, there you have it.
It's either that or some circus side-show, and I'm not sure America is quite crass enough to go for that option.

You Go, Senator Leahy



Senate Judiciary Chairman Patrick Leahy and White House Chief Counsel Greg Craig discussed on Tuesday the Senator's proposal to set up a truth and reconciliation commission to investigate potential crimes of the Bush administration.

Leahy added an important note to the story in an interview he gave the Huffington Post: Congress will likely proceed with investigations regardless of whether Obama is on board.

"Oh yeah," Leahy said when asked if he would go forward without Obama's endorsement. "I think the Senate and the Congress as a whole has an oversight responsibility that has to be carried out here anyway. Now it is much easier with the cooperation of the administration. A lot of things with the subpoenas I issued the past few years, we got a lot of information but a lot of it was held back."

Excellent news.
What we may forget after years of Bush trampling the Constitution is that the Legislative branch can and should operate independently of the Executive branch of the Federal Government.
No need for Obama to dirty his hands in the blood, guts and scum Bush and his cronies created. The Justice Department is completely capable of investigating the Bush war crimes and the lies they told, and it looks like Sen. Leahy is more than willing to lend them support from the Senate.
Bush left in his wake a financial crisis, two wars and America's international reputation in tatters. Still, time should and must be made to bring the Bush criminals to justice.
And you have to wonder, would Leahy be as willing to lead the charge had Dick Cheney not told him to go fuck himself on the Senate Floor in 2004?
Probably so.
;)

Hey Karen Zipdrive! What's New?



You know a company sucks when a top executive quits one Monday morning without notice.
You know a company really sucks when two top executives quit without notice on the same day.
You know a company really sucks ass when three top executives quit without notice on the same day.
And you know a company has reached the pinnacle of suckatude when three top executives and one computer guy all quit on the same day.
Hey, board of directors- did you get any messages today that hit home, you slimy, miserable, dishonest motherfuckers?
Have you possibly considered that losing three executives and one computer guy in one day says YOU REALLY SUCK in a most definitive way?
Good.

One More Reason to Love These People



Watching this brief clip literally made me cry.
Not only is President Obama raising the level of civility and grace of the presidency, he and Mrs. O are setting the tone for all married couples who want to keep their relationships thriving.
Date nights?
Cocktail parties at the White House?
Can these people get any more hip?
I remember as a child how good it felt when my parents were getting along and showing affection toward one another. It made me feel secure.
The Obamas understand that recreation is part of the word recreate. And when we re-create, we spend energy in a positive, creative way.
So, let's hear it for date night.
Let Grandma babysit the kids, Michelle gets to put on a hot new dress and Mister Slim Barack- well, he's just cool in general.
Y'all go on withcha bad selves. ;)

The Stimulus Plan



Let me break this down for those asshole, obstructionist, nuisance Republicans in the legislature.
You fucked up when your team had the ball, get it?
None of you lily livered, quivering chinned robots said shit when Bush was trying to shove all kinds of bullshit bills down our throats, now did ya?
Now you're lined up like contestants on, "So You Think You've Got Talent" and whinnying like glue factory nags in front of any camera lens you can see.
"It's got pork!" you cry.
"It's going too fast," you whimper.
"It's not got enough tax cuts," you blubber.
Yeah, well, it's Obama's Stimulus Package, and because Bush and Dick and the GOP's last fuck-up ended up with us handing over billions of our tax dollars to banks and insurance companies and other greedy Goliaths who turned around and rat-holed the dough to help themselves get richer.
Here's what Obama's bill could include and I'd still go for it:
-Condoms for elementary school kids
-Tattoo removal for all
-Pies to throw at bailed-out executives who attend any and all fancy retreats
-Clean needles for drug addicts
-Manscaping for hairy guys
-Hybrid weed research and farming incentives
-Free gourmet meals for school kids
-New tires for all Americans
-Cunnilingus lessons for new lesbian recruits
-Free iPod downloads for anyone named Karen
-Free HBO and Showtime at homeless shelters
-Elimination of the IRS; everyone pays 10% of what they make
-Public art on every street corner
-Two percent financing on all new cars and any home purchases
-Free college tuition for all
-Free medical and dental coverage for all
-Pony rides
-Free haircuts

I don't care what Obama thinks will help stimulate the economy. He's smart, we trust him and we dont trust you.
Pass the goddamn bill already and be quiet, Republicans.
Fuckin' chumps.

Tired Old Dick



Dick Cheney rose from the crypt to deliver a doomsday message:
If Obama continues along the path of not being an aggressive bully toward our enemies, we're going to be attacked again.
Dick, Dick, Dick.
Aren't you tired of trying to scare the shit out of people with gibberish like this?
Did you forget that 9/11 happened on Bush's watch because the Saudi-led terrorists knew they could raise hell and Bush wouldn't dare retaliate and defy his bosses who live in the Saudi Palace?
Dick, you presided over the worst president in the worst era of "leadership" in American history.
Do you really think anyone is still listening to your fat mouth?
Fuck you, Dick.
No, really, fuck you.

Zipdrive's New Rule
If they make this face, they cannot serve.

Dare I Say It?



Yes, I dare.
I think Bruce Springsteen is totally overrated.
Even when he released "Born in the USA" I was underwhelmed with him.
Does this make me unAmerican?
I don't care.
He's not the boss of me.

H/t to Dusty, for posting what might be the most hilarious Superbowl ad in the history of mankind.

Ugh. Stuporbowl Sunday



I know many of my lesbo sister wymmin just adore football, but I do not.
And I know today is the high holy day of that sport, but I find the whole ordeal positively annoying.
First off, it is impossible to go to any supermarket without having to deal with Neanderthals in sweats going up the down aisles, loading their carts with beer, chips, dips and mayonaissey things that come in plastic cartons from the refrigerated deli section.
They have no supermarket etiquette. They park their carts diagonally mid-aisle, they bump into things, they grunt and point like Cro-magnons dressed in Walmart couture.
Besides Valentine's Day, when they dash in for a wilted bouquet of afterthought roses for their suffering wives, the men in my neighborhood are as at-home in a grocery store as I am at a transmission shop.
And this year it's even worse because Texas men have to pretend to like the Steelers and/or the Cardinals in order to justify swilling a case of beer and sitting around with their hands down the front of their sweatpants watching their new 60" flat screens.
And though my NFL knowledge is minimal, I do know that Arizona is home to the Cardinals AND John McCain, making me hope they lose by 160-0.
Didja know that domestic violence after the Superbowl rises to meteoric levels? "Yeah, my team lost so I'm gonna have to slap my wife around because it's all her fault." That sorta thing.
I've been invited to a handful of game watching parties, but I'd rather sort socks or iron ruffled linen.
Really, the best thing to do on this horrid day is head to the local mall and enjoy an evening of shopping that's heavy on yin and light on yang.
But in this economy, who has money for recreational shopping?
So I plan instead to hunker down and play a DVD of the chickiest chick flick ever- "The Devil Wears Prada."
I may even make some dainty finger sandwiches or a quiche to go with it. And I might buy a bottle of Chablis- isn't that the girliest wine ever?
Oh wait, I can't buy any groceries today.
It's Man-Day at the local HEB.
Ugh.