American Puritans Unite!



All this buzz about Miley Cyrus posing for Vanity Fair with fine arts photos taken by Annie Liebowitz is fucking ridiculous.
The term "posing topless" does not apply to a model wrapped in a sheet, where neither her breasts nor her lower back are showing.
The kid is getting older and wants to appeal to her fan base of young girls who also are maturing.
The photos are tasteful and beautiful.
Once again, Europeans are laughing their asses off at all the uproar over this nothing issue. It's embarrassing.

Wright is All Right With Me



First off, the more I hear, the more I love The Rev. Jeremiah Wright.
He's funny, he does great imitations, and he says shit about the neo-cons that is delightfully outrageous in its candor. Hell, I aspire to make comments as outlandish as his!
I would dearly love to hear one of his sermons in person.
He's a true original and I agree with so much of what he says about racism and the White Man keeping the rest of us down.

Alas, I also love the following people and support the following issues:

Dennis Kucinich
Geraldine Ferraro
Jane Fonda
Legalized pot
Gay marriage
Legalized Abortion
Taxing churches
Gun Control
Transgender Rights
Rosie O'Donnell
Al Sharpton
Amy Winehouse
Tax breaks for gays who don't have equal rights
Elimination of tax credits for breeders
Property tax breaks for those who don't have kids in school
Free(er) immigration policies
...etc.

That makes me about as politically viable as your average left-wing, pussy-lovin' lesbian militant pothead extremist.

Ergo, the fact that I love Rev. Wright is a moot point when one considers how many American voters are thoroughly turned off- and even frightened- by Wright and his deliciously radical points of view.

See, I want a Democrat in office, and Wright has managed to freak the bejeebers out of the average white, Christian, family values moderate-to-conservative voter.
If you think Obama's immersion in Wright's church won't turn off voters, I have some valuable beachfront property here in San Antonio I'd like to sell you.

Now that Wright is making the media rounds and exposing himself as the Black militant rabble rouser he is, please don't hide your head in the sand and pretend he's not fucking up Obama's chances but good. What's more, now that he's gotten a taste for the publicity he'll want more, because all great performers want more.

What Wright is doing is making people wonder if Obama is playing possum until he wins- then he'll invite in his radical Black pals and turn the presidency into one big GET WHITEY movement.
Sure, it's ignorant, but I'm talking about the same dumb-ass white voters who elected Bush twice.

It makes no difference whether I like Wright or not. I only get one vote.

However, if Obama's alliance with him turns off voters and Obama is the Democratic nominee, we could lose this motherfuckin' election and see four more years of Republican bullshit.

Wahhh!
I know for many of you, Obama is the wonderkind and all you ever wanted in a shiny new candidate. Alas, you only get one vote, like me.

When Obama started to completely overpower Hillary in popularity, I had to adjust my thinking and begin to embrace and prepare to support my second choice, Obama.
But now that Obama is taking a drubbing, can any of you face the idea that Obama might not be electable?
Can you consider the possibility that we Democrats may have to support whomever can beat McCain?

Can you?

Please Stop Before I Have to Spank you...

Every year it seems we must adapt to the creation, then endure the ad nauseam repetition of hip new catch phrases that inundate the media.
Who can forget recent relics like, "dude!" and "whatever" being crammed down our throats and poked into our eyes on an hourly basis?
Now comes "really."
Example:
Susie: "I think Hillary should stay in the race."
Matthew: "Really, Susie? Really?"
From Saturday Night Live, to MTV, to Comedy Central, to cell phone ads, all this "really-talk" really gets on my nerves.
Whenever I hear it, I immediately cast aspersions on the little pop culture parrot who's saying it.
I know it's, like, really awesome to, like, stay hip to the culture of linguistics but goddamn, please try to skip the silly fads you hear on TV. Don't become one of these guys:

You May Have to Just Get Over It



I've been keeping my powder dry about Hillary's big win in Pennsylvania, but last night on "Real Time with Bill Mahar," Bill nailed it when he said Hillary shouldn't even consider stepping down because the margins of victory between her and Obama are too slim for her to quit.
His guest Arianna Huffington, whom I usually love, said, "She has no right to say the things she says about Obama."
Au contraire, my Greek siren.
As Americans, we all have the right to say any goddamn thing we want about anyone. In turn, we must face the consequences of our words.
For Huffington to display such righteous indignation tells me her political astuteness is a few bubbles off plumb when it comes to her blind devotion to Obama.
In politics, all's fair. Obama has hurled barbs at Hillary, and vice versa.
Huffington is still fuming over Hillary's "It's 3 a.m. in America" ad.
For God's sake, doesn't she realize that the ad was so effective it's triggered thousands of transparent "the lady doth protest too much" reactions?
Sorry, Obama Claymates, but sleeping next to a two-term president for eight years does provide a candidate some valuable insight into what being president entails.
Who among us thinks Hillary would crumble under pressure if that call came in at 3 a.m.? The ad was about her toughness under pressure- it was not an indictment of freshman Senator Obama's lack of experience.
People sure are touchy about Obama's weaknesses.

I am too, but for different reasons.
Can this guy win the general election when he's lost all the Big State primaries?
Can this overly sensitive guy survive the mega-ton media battle the GOP will mount against him when he hasn't weathered the heat from Camp Hillary?

It's 3 a.m. in America, and I'll bet Hillary's not awake, pouting about what Obama said about her.

Portrait of a Murderer



This morning, the murderer of Viola Barrios was arrested and confessed to breaking into her home, shooting her, stealing her credit cards, starting several fires in the home, then escaping from the scene in her 2006 silver Mercedes.

The murderer was 18-year-old Joe Estrada. He was Mrs. Barrios's next door neighbor.
He said he wanted the money to buy drugs.

He's charged with capital murder, which carries the death penalty.
I'm sure his fellow Texas prisoners will welcome him in their own special way.

Rest in Peace, Mrs. Barrios



Today in San Antonio, the body of Viola Barrios, 77, was found amidst the rubble of her burning house. Her 2006 Mercedes Benz was missing from her driveway, and the police suspect murder, with arson apparently used to cover the crime. Her killer(s) remain at large.

Viola Barrios migrated from Mexico to Texas as a child. Years later, as a young widow, she founded her first family restaurant "Los Barrios" in 1979 as a means to support her young family. The business has grown from a few tables located in a small boat house to two large and prospering family restaurants capable of catering events of all sizes and serving hundreds of customers daily. Public recognition was not important to Viola, although she received awards for inspiring women in business, and a scholarship for women was named in her honor by Les Dames d' Escoffier.

I used to speak with Mrs. Barrios whenever I'd visit her fantastic Mexican restaurant Los Barrios, located only a few miles from my house. She was always quick with a smile and a pat on the arm, just like somebody's little grandma.

Considering Los Barrios has been featured on the Food Network, Good Morning America, the BBC and many other television programs that showcase the best places to eat all over America. Mrs. Barrios remained modest, sweet natured and hard working.

Just last night, she worked at her restaurant manning the register until after 10 p.m. At age 77, she didn't have to work. She did it because she loved it.

I know probably none of you have dined at Los Barrios or ever met Mrs. Barrios, but I wanted to blog about her just in case anyone ever Googles her. I just want people to know she was loved and will be missed by thousands of us here in San Antonio.

True Love Never Runs Smooth



Gee, you'd think Star Jones's marriage to that gay guy nobody had ever heard of would have lasted.
Between her and Liza Minelli, the business of celebrity fag hags is really going down the tubes.
Meanwhile, raspy-voiced Jenna Bush is soon set to marry some nobody of dubious sexual orientation (he's a Republican, which makes him automatically suspect), but at least Jenna can find comfort in the arms of the nearest Austin barfly lesbian if things go south for her and whatzisname.
I'm so happy to hear she's not planning a White House wedding. The idea of the taxpayers having to pay for all the added secret service coverage and catering and other expense that comes with a White House wedding would make my head spin 360 degrees.
Last night on Larry King, she implied that she might not be backing McCain in the race. How I wish she would have said, "This current president has fucked it up for all Republicans running for office..."
And what's with her twin, Not-Jenna?
She makes the Nixon daughters seem like brilliant international socialites, filled with glamour, style and wit.
What does she do, anyway? Can she possibly be as boring as she seems?

The Real Baby Jake at 4 Months





They talk about human babies who reach the terrible twos, but there's no terrible twos like a 4-month-old kitten.
Baby Jake has one fatal flaw--he's smarter than any cat I've ever met, and smarter than most humans I know.
He knows how to gnaw the bottom out of the kitty treat bag, and when I transferred his baby treats to a glass jar with a snap-on plastic lid, it took him maybe 5 minutes to learn how to pry it open with his tiny teeth and paws.
At four pounds, he terrorizes his 20-pound brother Nick and daddy James. Poor guys, they try to have a peaceful nap and are awakened by him trying to bite their tails off.
He won't let any of us sleep at night. He marches and pounces all over me all night, and God forbid I move a toe under the blanket while I'm actually sleeping.
He's growing an impressive set of little kitty nuts now, and he doesn't like anyone examining them. But he loves to show them off, often backing them into my face when I'm trying to sleep.
He's past the adorable kitten-in-the-lap stage, too. I have to hold him in place if I have the urge to cuddle him, unless I am eating, then he's like Velcro.
He often gives himself a fat lip, miscalculating bites aimed at the scruffs of the other boys' necks.
If I am late with his Iams kitten chow, he simply jumps up on the counter, rips open the bag and helps himself.
I can't understand how a little being who's younger than most of the condiments in my refrigerator has managed to overtake an entire household, but he has.

Oh, the Horrors of That Debate!!!



Sigh.
I didn't actually watch the ABC debate last week because it doesn't matter to me anymore who says what to whom. I'm voting for whichever Democrat wins the nomination, and I won't change my mind unless something about a candidate being a pedophile or a pet torturer comes up.
I did, however, listen to excerpts and watch clips of the major parts of the debate.
From what I hear, George Stephanopoulis and Charles Gibson asked both candidates some stupid questions, especially Obama.
What really has amazed me, however, is how outraged Obama's fanbase got over it.
They are acting as if people's plans to vote Democratic were somehow altered because Obama showed annoyance and discomfort during certain segments of the debate.
Maybe it's because, as a Hillary supporter, I have gotten used to hearing despicable things about her and seen the media treat her like she's Madeline Murray O'Hare, smacking a statue of Jesus with a soiled Kotex.
I've developed a thick skin over the last few decades regarding the mass hatred of Hillary. She's proven to be durable and tenacious, but for a woman in politics I guess that's a liability.
The anger by Obama's Claymates toward ABC and its reporters who moderated the debate has been nothing short of shrill. They are demanding all sorts of remedies to what seems to them like the biggest travesty in American media history.
I don't like sore losers, but sore winners are even worse.
Obama's the presumptive Democratic candidate and we all know it. So why get so shrill when the media ham-hands the man?
Is he really such a pussy that his fans think they need to rampage against anyone who attempts to push his buttons?
Do his fans really think he's above the fray and neither fighting back nor running negative ads?
Jesus, people, there's no need to worry about another botched debate.
Obama's a good man with good ideas.
There's no need to make Hillary a bad woman to make Obama look like a better man.
But most importantly, all this over-reaction to Obama's treatment in the ABC debate is giving the GOP the playbook on how to make him, and his fans, squirm.
Sometimes, the best reaction to a bad situation is a simple, "whatever."
We Democrats need to stop cradling Obama when he fucks up and loses his cool. The best way we can help get him elected is to let him learn to be more resilient.
Like Hillary.

Ron Can You Find My Boy a Job?



'A moment I've been dreading. George brought his n'er-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida; the one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I'll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they'll hire him as a contributing editor or something. That looks like easy work.'

From the REAGAN DIARIES------entry dated May 17, 1986.