Saturday, January 31, 2009

Too Legit? Bullshit!



Former rapper MC Hammer and former pitchman Ed McMahon will be doing an ad during the Superbowl on Sunday for a company that buys scrap gold.
I feel kind of sorry for broke-ass Hammer because he's kind of dumb and likable, but McMahon can suck it.
Instead of doing an ad where he's pretending he has any gold to sell, McMahon should instead dig himself up to his neck in sweepstakes investments.
Considering how he fronted for a bogus company that ripped off senile old people like my late mother for thousands of dollars, Ed should take the same risk with his dwindling bank account.
Besides, selling scrap gold is a ripoff.
Last year I found a little box I'd forgotten about filled with odd earrings and a few broken gold chains that I decided to sell for scrap. I was amazed at how little they paid.
Good thing I didn't need the money.
Leaving Hammer out of this, I still think the best thing for McMahon to do is dump the trophy wife, sell the mansion at a loss, get rid of the biting, lawsuit collecting little mutt and find himself a cozy two-bedroom apartment in Oxnard.
That way he can fill out his sweepstakes entries in private.

6 comments:

Randal Graves said...

I'm sick of that damn commercial, seemingly looped continuously between the hours of 4 and 5 am, using struggling actors, so this comes as a welcome surprise. Stop! Sweepstakes Time!

Lulu Maude said...

Oxnard! Too funny!

Mauigirl said...

Agree about Ed McMahon. My father started getting the early stages of dementia and his first symptom was a sudden conviction that he could win the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. He started buying all kinds of junk no matter how many times my mother told him he didn't have to buy anything to win. He ran up huge bills a little at a time on that stuff.

Anonymous said...

why is ed mcmahon famous, and why would anyone want to buy anything that he endorses? he's got no talent, no personality, and he certainly was never one to look at. don't they have a home for old has-beens?

Distributorcap said...

but the lady in the commercial sold the ring from her first husband!


my father knows all the gold smelters and traders (he worked in a related biz)

he said they would all steal from their mothers

Anonymous said...

Mauigirl nailed Ed but let's not forget that DICK Clark was right there with Ed screwing old people.

Even Oxnard is too good for this old fart.