Last night I was up late watching TV. I was annoyed with myself because I needed to get to sleep, yet I was fascinated with the stupid show I was watching.
Then Billy Mays and his ear rupturing voice came on an ad and I clicked off the TV and went to bed.
Now he's dead.
I feel a little guilty that I clicked him off mid-pitch.
So here's some haiku in eulogy to Billy Mays.
He sold OxyClean
But I never used the stuff
Who needs to smell ox?
Why, oh why, oh why
Couldn't death have come to claim
That dork Shamwow guy?
Billy Mays was straight
But the gay boys loved that beast
He was their big bear
