A few years ago, I had some next door neighbors whom I'll call The Renters. They were a young Hispanic couple and they used to have huge screaming matches, which usually would result in the male roaring off on his muffler-less motorcycle at all hours of the day and night.
When they were getting along, they were very social. In fact one night they managed to hire a disc jockey with several refrigerator sized Marshall amps and squeeze approximately 300 drunk people into their back yard.
The bass from the speakers literally shook the windows of my office, which is in back of my house with windows facing their back yard.
Around 1 a.m. the police arrived and told them to shut down the DJ and break up the party. They pretended to oblige, but the moment the cops left the party began again with renewed vigor. The cops showed up three times total, and finally stuck around to make sure everyone got in their cars and left around 3 a.m.
The Renters moved out because Pete the owner of the house (aka Scrotum face)always raises the rent after one year and all his tenants move out when he pulls that.
Then came The New Renters, another Hispanic couple who've been very civilized until last night.
I went to see comedian Ron White last night, and money has definitely civilized the former redneck. He really was funny and tons more sophisticated than anyone would imagine. I got home around 11, kind of buzzing due to the post-concert coffee I had.
So there I was pecking on my computer in my office that abuts their back yard and around midnight I heard loud male voices.
Then came the boompa boompa of the bass and the music began to blare as people started arriving in droves. There were maybe 75-100 drunk men and women making a lot of noise because the music was too loud to use normal conversational tones.
Who has a party that starts at midnight?!
I cranked up the volume of my TV to drown out the noise, but that bass pounding was enough to loosen my teeth fillings. It was making me very cranky.
At 12:30 I called the cops.
At 1:30 I called them again and they said a squad car was en route.
Around 1:45 a.m. three squad cars showed up and they promptly squelched the music and started carding younger looking people. Some of the males got belligerent, but I'm not sure if anyone was arrested.
I was like Mrs. Kravitz from "Bewitched," peering through the mini blinds and hoping not to be noticed.
By 2:15 a.m. the party was over and The Renters finally went inside.
I'm hoping the shame of having the police break up their party will be enough to caution The Renters not to throw any more huge backyard parties, but I fear they've developed a taste for loud music and mass obnoxiousness with their bummy friends.
It's 8:14 a.m. as I write this.
I imagine The Renters are sound asleep from their late night drunken revelry.
Their bedroom is next to my very loud stereo speakers in the living room.
I just hope they like to awaken to opera. German opera, to be specific.
Oh wait.
I think this is a job for Carmina Burana.
heh heh heh
