Friday, February 04, 2005

Here's An Idea We All Can Love

NBC, Donald Trump and Mark Burnett, the masterminds behind NBC's "The Apprentice," announced Wednesday that Martha Stewart will host "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart," a new version of the business-themed reality show.
You gotta love how Martha Stewart is strictly forbidden to discuss business of any kind while she's behind bars, yet somehow a major network television show centered on her has sprung forth, as if by magic.
When I first started watching "The Apprentice," I thought Donald Trump was a big enough prick to pull it off, but I always wondered what the show would be like if Martha Stewart was at the helm.
Can you imagine what the challenges will be like? Oh, I am all atwitter with the possibilities.
Chain saw ice sculpture?
Papel picado, using toenail scissors and burlap?
Carving butter pats into family crests?
Piano building?
Grafting violets with peonies?
And what will she say to candidates who don't measure up? She can't say, "you're fired," that's Trump's line.
Here are some possibilities:
"You failed, abysmally."
"As if."
"You are not worthy."
"Guards, remove this person at once!"

Oh, I can't wait. We may have to start a pool.

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