Thursday, September 14, 2006

Project Runway

I can't write a funny review today, so here's one from Runway alum Nick Verreos:

I have spent most of my summer waiting for this moment – this season's corresponding episode to when I was kicked off. Who would replace me? In my recap last week, I speculated that it was going to be Kayne. If any of you followed Season 1 or 2, you can see how Kayne would be the obvious choice to go next. With the above in mind, I was ready to watch intently as I polished the crown of fifth runner-up that I was giving away.

Wearing a bias-cut Uli-esque dress, Heidi told the designers that she was having a party where she would announce what their next challenge would be. They gathered at the Pink Elephant club, where the designers popped open some champagne and pretended to have some fun.

Their faux festive mood came to a sudden halt the minute they saw Vincent and Angela enter the room. THEY'RE BAA-AACK! No one could even feign a real smile as they sauntered in. Kayne quickly chugged his drink, Jeffrey looked as if something smelled bad, and Laura, well, I was afraid her water would break over the thought of having to see those two again. Call the doctor: Mr. Smiley Pants and Miss Fleurechon got a second chance for having won previous challenges. They joined the remaining five designers in this week's competition to create a cocktail dress out of black-and-white fabric (and utilizing every scrap of material). And to throw a wrench in the challenge, three designers would be voted off this week.

In the workroom, Michael tried to come to Kayne's aid as he struggled with his monochromatic canvas of a dress. Laura's hormones and stress began affecting her, forcing her to almost have a breakdown in front of an uncomfortable Tim Gunn. I could almost see Tim looking for the mini-bar he hoped the producers had set up for him to take refuge in situations like these.

Eventually, Laura recovered to create what I undeniably felt was the best cocktail dress in the group. She designed a young, sexy yet elegant lace-over-satin dress, winning praise from all the judges – including guest judge, designer Zac Posen. Laura rightfully won.

Uli's dress was a surprising mess. It was too short and the sleeves were too long, a casualty of bad proportions. What was not a surprise was the paisley print fabric she chose. We have seen this from her week after week. Someone better pull her finger from the autopilot button soon. Michael's dress was a simple asymmetrical tube dress with a midriff corset. It was contemporary and perfect for drinks at Buddha Bar. Jeffrey's, on the other hand, was more appropriate for a hooker in Old San Juan, featuring goodies such as off-the-shoulder polka-dotted ruffles and thigh-baring leggings.

Returning designers Vincent and Angela were predictably dismissed for their respective comeback-kid creations. Even L'OrĂ©al makeup artist Collier Strong could not help these two. Delusional Vincent exited saying that he has been "making beautiful music all his life…it's a gift." Excuse me, but since when is Vincent the Andrew Lloyd Webber of fashion? I somehow knew they would be eliminated AGAIN. Why were we forced to go through this a second time?

As I predicted, Kayne was auf'ed for his dress, mainly for lacking the requisite white color and a touch of class. Bye bye, Kayne, you'll wear my crown well.


Unknown said...

"for a hooker in Old San Juan"-damn good line..I have to remember that one.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Nick was always hilarious as a contestant last season.
He coined the phrase "wickety whack" for the excess crap with which one of the other designers always trimmed her designs.

Unknown said...

The whole season so far is on this weekend..I have sat and watched it all on Bravo.