Friday, June 08, 2007

Oh, For God's Sake!

In, out, in, out, in.

Paris Hilton's recent jail drama has started to mimic her sex video.
First, she was sentenced to 45 days for breaking DUI probation by driving with a suspended license.
Then a few days into her jail time, a sheriff released her to house arrest because of some "undisclosed illness."
Then the DA and a few other bigwigs rightfully pitched a fit, had the cops pick her up at her home and drag her back to court, where the presiding judge ordered her back to jail.
Upon the judge's decision, she was said to have started screaming, "It's not fair!" then she screamed for her mama like an 8-year-old. She literally had to be dragged off to jail.
The trouble with today's young celebrities is they can't handle their booze and dope.
Back in my day, we could drop acid, drink a 12-pack of beer or a box of wine, smoke a few joints and conduct ourselves like ladies-- behind the wheel or not.
These pussies today can't handle their substances; it's as simple as that.
And once they prove they can't handle their booze and dope, then they can't handle the consequences.
We all know Paris Hilton will end up turning this episode in her life into some kind of money making scheme.
We all know this will do nothing to tarnish her image.
When her image is that of a dim-witted, rich party girl, a little pokey time will just add to her street cred.

So, Paris, quit your bitching, do your skimpy month and a half of time and get over it. You'll emerge from jail skinnier, pale and wan-- just like you have to work at being all the time anyway, stupid.


The Educated Eclectic said...

Was waiting, as I knew your take on this bru-ha-ha would be spot on.


The Educated Eclectic said...

Sorry - brouhaha - correct spelling.


Anonymous said...

I think this is all a publicity set up that worked out beautifully. Paris is on the front page of everything right now. Now Martha - she showed us how to be a classy felon!

Lulu Maude said...

I think a sleazy women-behind-bars biopic is the logical next step. Will Paris play herself??

(I hate thinking about Paris Hilton. She, after all, doesn't think about me.) She's just so fucking ubiquitous.

Anonymous said...

It would take longer to film a biopic than her sentence actually was. I think we're talking about maybe 18 more days of time (they get a day off for every four days of good behavior and she can't exactly misbehave in confinement).
She got caught.
She got punished.
Get on with her bad self.

As for "anonymous" aka Big Sis, when you log in , use the "other" designation and they'll let you type in "Big Sis" and post. ;)

lazydog said...

What kills me is the morbid fascination with this shit. Who cares what that twit does?

lazydog said...

And yes, she's clearly an amateur substance user.

Karen Zipdrive said...

In my opinion, the American public loves shit like this because focusing on the fucked up mess Bush & Co have created for us is too damn depressing.
We are ashamed of putting a simpleton like Paris Hilton on a pedestal, so now comes the fun of knocking her off.
Next comes her phony baloney resurrection. Then another DUI bust or ridiculous marriage and the cycle starts again.
I think it's kind of fun to watch.