The Odious Duo



Just out of boredom late last night, I tuned into CNN to catch the Ronald Reagan Memory Tour, featuring the remaining four Republicans in the race.
Well, I say four but for all of CNN's bias toward the frontrunners, Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul may as well have sent cut-out posters of themselves with a few catch phrases pasted on their bodies.

Here are my impressions:

Mitt Romney: Remember in High School that one guy who drove the sports car, played quarterback, fucked all the cheerleaders on the sly and gave you the impression he was only saying hello to you to bolster his "great guy" image? Yeah well, that's Mitt.
Previously, I have always awarded Black drag queens top honors for microphone hogging, but Mitt has stolen that dubious distinction from the queens. I am convinced he loves the sound of his own voice to the extent that any dictates of common courtesy are waived for His Greatness.
I wasn't fond of him before, but after last night I realize he's just another empty suit gas-bag who will bicker over anything. He defines the White Male Overblown Sense of Entitlement. The word "loathesome" applies here.

John McCain: Were it not for his insane obsession with "wanting to win in Iraq" and his belief that the escalation--ooops, I mean the surge--is working, I'd find his measured tones and mastery of basic grammar somewhat enticing.
However, his war stance is simply unacceptable and therefore so is he. He'll win the GOP nod, no doubt, but all his opponent has to do is chant, "A HUNDRED MORE YEARS IN IRAQ" and I think most of the voting public will just say no.

The two of them combined for something I found highly offensive.
When Huckabee or Paul spoke, both Mitts and Walnuts gazed at them with the same bemused tolerance usually reserved by politicians for gibbering old veterans who are so senile they think they are back on the beaches of Normandy. Their smirks were so arrogantly Bushian, I felt that familiar bile rising in my throat.

Mike Huckabee: Though I don't think America needs another loony evangelical in office, Huckabee seems modest and measured enough to listen to without chuckling. I wish I agreed with some of his Old Testimonial stances because he seems like a sincere guy, but I don't. Still, I think CNN's moderators were rude to ignore him as much as they did, and he was right to call them on it. He's in the toaster, however, and it's set on LOW.

Ron Paul: If there were no Democrats in the race, he's the only Republican I'd vote for from what little I heard last night. Shame on CNN's Anderson Cooper for cutting him off mid-sentence, promising him a chance to respond later and reneging on that promise. In the sparse opportunities Paul had to opine on the war and economy, I found myself nodding in agreement. Alas, my nodding stopped when those greedy bastards Mitts and Walnuts butted in and stole the floor again.

No surprises last night at the Reagan Memorial Airplane Hangar.
The posthumous dick sucking all four lined up to do on the rotting corpse of Iran Contra Ronnie was to be expected, but remained nauseating nonetheless.
Oh, and get this- none of them admitted that Bush has been a shitty president. That just proves that none of them have a clue.

For Baby Jake's Own Good...



I got some sad news yesterday from my pal KT, who's caring for the kittens until they're ready for adoption.
Seems she's been reading a lot of kitten sites that say kittens are much better off if they stay with their mamas until they are 12 weeks old. Mama's milk contains valuable nutrients that help kittens stay healthy. Also, by staying with their little siblings a little longer, babies learn not to bite and how to play nice, lest they be avoided by the litter.
Baby Jake was born on December 10, making him just shy of 8 weeks old. I have reluctantly agreed to let KT keep him until he's either 12 weeks old or his mama stops nursing him, whichever comes first.
Either those websites are correct, or KT is a relentless kitten whore who created fake web sites so she could keep the babies a little longer and hog all that fuzzy adorability for a few more weeks.
Regardless, I can't help but feel little Jake will benefit from a few more weeks of his mama's milk and socialization with his sisters.
:(

Uncle Jack Guards the Babies




My pal KT who's taking care of the babies until they are weaned has a "kitten" named Jack. Jack is the largest kitten in history, as you can see. He's only about 7 months old but already he's the size of a small bobcat.
Jack's disposition with humans could be better, but it turns out he's a very gentle uncle to the babies and he knows instinctively they are too little to be played with roughly.
Just before the babies fell asleep, Jack gently put his paw on Baby Jake's little pink nose. Baby Jake didn't get scared one bit. YAY!

New York Times Endorses Hillary Clinton

Published: January 25, 2008

This generally is the stage of a campaign when Democrats have to work hard to get excited about whichever candidate seems most likely to outlast an uninspiring pack. That is not remotely the case this year.

The early primaries produced two powerful main contenders: Hillary Clinton, the brilliant if at times harsh-sounding senator from New York; and Barack Obama, the incandescent if still undefined senator from Illinois. The remaining long shot, John Edwards, has enlivened the race with his own brand of raw populism.
As Democrats look ahead to the primaries in the biggest states on Feb. 5, The Times’s editorial board strongly recommends that they select Hillary Clinton as their nominee for the 2008 presidential election.

We have enjoyed hearing Mr. Edwards’s fiery oratory, but we cannot support his candidacy. The former senator from North Carolina has repudiated so many of his earlier positions, so many of his Senate votes, that we’re not sure where he stands. We certainly don’t buy the notion that he can hold back the tide of globalization.

By choosing Mrs. Clinton, we are not denying Mr. Obama’s appeal or his gifts. The idea of the first African-American nominee of a major party also is exhilarating, and so is the prospect of the first woman nominee. “Firstness” is not a reason to choose. The times that false choice has been raised, more often by Mrs. Clinton, have tarnished the campaign.

Mr. Obama and Mrs. Clinton would both help restore America’s global image, to which President Bush has done so much grievous harm. They are committed to changing America’s role in the world, not just its image.

On the major issues, there is no real gulf separating the two. They promise an end to the war in Iraq, more equitable taxation, more effective government spending, more concern for social issues, a restoration of civil liberties and an end to the politics of division of George W. Bush and Karl Rove.

Mr. Obama has built an exciting campaign around the notion of change, but holds no monopoly on ideas that would repair the governing of America. Mrs. Clinton sometimes overstates the importance of résumé. Hearing her talk about the presidency, her policies and answers for America’s big problems, we are hugely impressed by the depth of her knowledge, by the force of her intellect and by the breadth of, yes, her experience.

It is unfair, especially after seven years of Mr. Bush’s inept leadership, but any Democrat will face tougher questioning about his or her fitness to be commander in chief. Mrs. Clinton has more than cleared that bar, using her years in the Senate well to immerse herself in national security issues, and has won the respect of world leaders and many in the American military. She would be a strong commander in chief.

Domestically, Mrs. Clinton has tackled complex policy issues, sometimes failing. She has shown a willingness to learn and change. Her current proposals on health insurance reflect a clear shift from her first, famously disastrous foray into the issue. She has learned that powerful interests cannot simply be left out of the meetings. She understands that all Americans must be covered — but must be allowed to choose their coverage, including keeping their current plans. Mr. Obama may also be capable of tackling such issues, but we have not yet seen it. Voters have to judge candidates not just on the promise they hold, but also on the here and now.

The sense of possibility, of a generational shift, rouses Mr. Obama’s audiences and not just through rhetorical flourishes. He shows voters that he understands how much they hunger for a break with the Bush years, for leadership and vision and true bipartisanship. We hunger for that, too. But we need more specifics to go with his amorphous promise of a new governing majority, a clearer sense of how he would govern.

The potential upside of a great Obama presidency is enticing, but this country faces huge problems, and will no doubt be facing more that we can’t foresee. The next president needs to start immediately on challenges that will require concrete solutions, resolve, and the ability to make government work. Mrs. Clinton is more qualified, right now, to be president.

We opposed President Bush’s decision to invade Iraq and we disagree with Mrs. Clinton’s vote for the resolution on the use of force. That’s not the issue now; it is how the war will be ended. Mrs. Clinton seems not only more aware than Mr. Obama of the consequences of withdrawal, but is already thinking through the diplomatic and military steps that will be required to contain Iraq’s chaos after American troops leave.

On domestic policy, both candidates would turn the government onto roughly the same course — shifting resources to help low-income and middle-class Americans, and broadening health coverage dramatically. Mrs. Clinton also has good ideas about fixing the dysfunction in Mr. Bush’s No Child Left Behind education program.

Mr. Obama talks more about the damage Mr. Bush has done to civil liberties, the rule of law and the balance of powers. Mrs. Clinton is equally dedicated to those issues, and more prepared for the Herculean task of figuring out exactly where, how and how often the government’s powers have been misused — and what must now be done to set things right.

As strongly as we back her candidacy, we urge Mrs. Clinton to take the lead in changing the tone of the campaign. It is not good for the country, the Democratic Party or for Mrs. Clinton, who is often tagged as divisive, in part because of bitter feeling about her husband’s administration and the so-called permanent campaign. (Indeed, Bill Clinton’s overheated comments are feeding those resentments, and could do long-term damage to her candidacy if he continues this way.)

We know that she is capable of both uniting and leading. We saw her going town by town through New York in 2000, including places where Clinton-bashing was a popular sport. She won over skeptical voters and then delivered on her promises and handily won re-election in 2006.

Mrs. Clinton must now do the same job with a broad range of America’s voters. She will have to let Americans see her power to listen and lead, but she won’t be able to do it town by town.

When we endorsed Mrs. Clinton in 2006, we were certain she would continue to be a great senator, but since her higher ambitions were evident, we wondered if she could present herself as a leader to the nation.

Her ideas, her comeback in New Hampshire and strong showing in Nevada, her new openness to explaining herself and not just her programs, and her abiding, powerful intellect show she is fully capable of doing just that. She is the best choice for the Democratic Party as it tries to regain the White House.

Obama WAHHHH!



As my readers know, I'm backing Hillary Clinton for President. But I've always maintained that Barack Obama or John Edwards would also be fine candidates, deserving of my vote. That is until lately.
I've been a devoted fan of Arianna Huffington ever since she abandoned the GOP and joined the Democrats back in the late 90's.
When she announced the creation of The Huffington Post (linked at the right) I was a charter reader, and I still make it part of my daily Internet reading.
She's an Obama supporter and has made no bones about distrusting Hillary and hating Bill. No problem, there's room for all in the Democratic party.
However, she and her acolytes at HuffPo seem to go out of their way to whine about Camp Hillary getting too tough with dainty Senator Obama.
Each day, at least two new posts are made wherein someone whines, bitches, carps, moans or otherwise decries Bill Clinton picking on Obama.
It's politics, for God's sake, guttersniping is part of the theatrics.
Today, Obama's shrill wife Michelle was featured bitching about Camp Clinton's treatment of her husband. Some Black Minister did the same.
While I like Barack Obama, I've always been concerned with the cut of his wife's jib. She reminds me of a cross between Condaleezza Rice and professional reality TV bitch "Omarosa." Her vitriol aimed at Bill Clinton today was as alarming as the snarling photo of her that accompanied the piece.

With so many Democratic pundits and Obama pals attacking Camp Clinton on his behalf, I have to wonder what he'd do if he was our candidate and the GOP got their venomous fangs into him.

I'm starting to think he may be too much of a Mama's Boy to handle the stress of hardball politics. He's certainly been hiding behind a lot of skirts and trousers lately when it comes to those big meanie Clintonistas.

Barack Hussein Obama, listen dude. If you think the Hillary set are fucking with you right now, just consider the GOP swiftboaters who thoroughly chewed up Walnuts McCain before they went after John Kerry.

Wise up and consider Camp Hillary good, tough sparring partners if you ever expect to take on the GOP sons of bitches in a 12-round bout.
Your abandoning Muslim daddy and your middle name alone are enough ammo for them to fuck you up but good.

It's time for you to man-up and stop encouraging your supporters to do your fighting for you. If this is too hard on your delicate psyche, stand aside, son.

Happiness is a Smiling Kitten




Baby Jake is starting to be a genuine kitten now instead of just a little fuzzball without many skills. He and his sisters are starting to scamper around, climb onto people's legs and generally entertain like...well, kittens.

I can't wait till February 1 when I can bring him home.

Breaking Bad



As a devout TV addict, I feel obligated to let my readers know whenever a great new TV show debuts.
Last night's debut of Breaking Bad on the AMC channel was one of those moments like watching the first episode of HBO's Six Feet Under. I just knew it would be an instant classic.
The star plays Walter, a meek high school chemistry teacher with a flat affect.
When he discovers he has inoperable lung cancer, he realizes his death will bankrupt his family, so he comes up with a plan.
Through a series of coincidences, he hooks up with a slacker kid who was his former student. The kid just narrowly escaped being busted for the speed lab he and his partner Emilio ran. The kid was the salesman, Emilio was the meth cooker.
With Emilio busted, Walter tracked down the kid and offered to partner up with him.
Turns out Walter the chemist can cook pure, clear crystal meth, which makes his sidekick swoon with possibilities.
Dark hilarity ensues.

Breaking Bad runs on Sunday nights on AMC at 9 p.m. central.
Don't miss it.

South Carofuckinlina??



Just how did this backwoods hick state jockey for an early primary?
Last night on Bill Mahar's Real Time, they had a gay guy travel to South Carolina to talk to voters. Even the real drunken ones love Mike Huckabee because he's such a "Good Christian."
Haven't we had about enough of born agin' Good Christians in the White House?
Huckabee was caught on video in South Carolina saying that the Bible trumps the Constitution, so when he's pres-dint, he'll be fixin' to get rid of the non-Christian parts of the Constitution so it'll match The Good Book more better.
I imagine the "separation of church and State" part will be the first to go.
Good God!
Save us from this rampant ignorance before Jesus smites us all!

The Trouble With Too-Early Primaries

I love politics.
I love listening to political hopefuls and trying to decipher what they're really saying versus what they want us to believe.
I've already made up my mind though, so I'd like it if the three front runners in the Democratic race would all say, "Well, I've said more than enough about what I'm for and against, so you'll either vote for me or you won't."
Then I wish they'd donate all their remaining campaign funds to something useful, like arming our troops with proper body armor, treating people with AIDS or fighting global hunger.

The idea that we have to listen to endless pundits just waiting for a candidate to make a gaffe they can pounce on for the next 10 months is overwhelming.

I am a devoted reader of the Huffington Post.
They tend to be very pro-Obama and anti-Hillary. It's galling that they are so biased, when there's a chance Hillary will win the nomination, and what then, they'll throw their support to John McCain or Mitts Romney?
I think not.

This is the first time in my political consciousness when any of the top three Democratic hopefuls would be fine with me as president.
It pains me to see them forced to knife each other just to give the media some fresh meat to gnaw.

We have a veritable pastry cart before us in the Democratic race. It was hard to make my selection, but I based mine on what I knew of Hillary Clinton before she had to phony up so she'd appeal to the vast ignorance of the electorate in the middle, whose political sentimentality is on a par with those All-American Chevrolet Truck commercials.

I'm glad I made my decision early.
Now I can spend my television watching budget on what really matters: Project Runway, Top Chef, Survivor, Spurs games, American Gladiators, Boston Legal, Real Time with Bill Mahar, Dancing With the Stars and various HBO offerings.

There's no way I can handle 10 more months of televised campaign fuckery. Unless one of the candidates from either side is caught in some kind of delicious sexual or felonious scandal, they can include me out.

You?

Fun in the Litter Box



Baby Jake obviously prefers playing in the litter box to any store bought kitten toy.
I'm hoping he outgrows this little habit before he's ready to be adopted.
He does not want to be playing in my big boys' litter box from Hell.

Weekend Baby Update





Well, his name will end up being Jake if I adopt him and I spent some time with him this weekend to see what his personality will be like.
Turns out at 4 weeks old, they can barely walk much less charm anyone with their huge personalities. Being cute is really all they need at that age.
But Jake is very sweet natured, unless one tries to hold him for too long. He tolerates kisses on his little apple face and tummy very well. He also lets you hold him on his back, unlike his wriggly sisters. He even falls asleep that way.
He mews a little but he's no crybaby.
His little nails are sharp as sewing machine needles but only 1/16th of an inch long, so the scratches he leaves are superficial.
He's the biggest kitten in the litter, one because he's the only male, and two because he absolutely hogs his mama's nipple and will allow no competition until he's nice and full. He's not mean about it; he just does a lot of hip checking and sister-pushing.
His hobbies include: trying to walk without falling over and playing in the litter box by digging, rolling, wrestling, pinning his sisters, having his little tail bitten, trying to figure out who did it, and falling asleep.

I think I may be falling in love.

Ask Aunt Karen

Dear Aunt Karen,
People say I am very witty. What things should I say to appear even wittier?
-Witty in Waco

Dear Witty,
It's more what you don't say.
Don't end statements with the phrase, "not so much."
Example: "Beyonce has a great singing voice. Britney, not so much."
---------------------------------------

Dear Aunt Karen,
I don't understand women. What do they want?
-Eager Beaver in Oregon

Dear Beaver,
If I knew that, Heidi Klum would ditch Seal and the kids and move in with me.

-----------------------------------------

Dear Aunt Karen,
What's the difference between a lesbian and a bull dyke?
-Curious in Kansas

Dear Curious,
About 50 pounds and a pair of men's Old Navy khakis.

--------------------------------------------------

Dear Aunt Karen,
How can I determine whether a friend has an alcohol or drug problem?
-Moderate in Modesto

Dear Moderate,
If my friends drink more booze or smoke more pot than I do, they have a problem.

Job Wanted



Seeking executive position.
Applicant will available in January 2009 and is willing to relocate.


RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

- Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

-Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

-Education
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States after losing by more than 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of more than one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, more than 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Department of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks, and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
citizens and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British allies.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.I specified that my sealed documents
will not be available for 50 years.

REFERENCES:

Barney
Miss Beasley
Karl Rove
My Mom

I Know You Want to See More

I Think I'm in Trouble



My pal KT called me yesterday, urging me to rush to the house she has for sale.
She said the words, "buff colored, tiny, infant, blue eyes, kitten and adorable."
I cannot resist the lure of fresh kittens, so I rushed to the house.

And there he was. Unlike his siblings, all mutty looking tigers and dark babies, he was the one superstar of the litter. He matches my beloved James, who KT also hooked me up with back in '01.

Three cats--would that mark me as "the crazy cat lady up the street"?
Would it repulse potential new girlfriends?

The kitten is a short hair, which is a plus. He's the exact shade of buff my James is, making him look like his baby son.

Nick, my youngest cat is turning 3 this month. It's about time he grows up and learns how to deal with an infant.

Should I? Could I?

If I do I want to name him Baby Dumpling, but that's not a good name once he grows up. I like names like James and Nick. Easy to yell.

Hey Pundits! Eat Cake!



Yeah, yeah all the polls wrote off Hillary in New Hampshire. Then she kicked ass.
So what do all the Obamatists say? They laud Obama for coming in second, as if he somehow won in New Hampshire.
He made a decent showing, but he didn't win in New Hampshire.
For Hillary to be considered by the media a dead duck on the same day as the vote, her victory was more than a simple win, it was an ass kicking.

But the great news is, we have a woman and a black man neck and neck in the race. That alone is a miracle worth celebrating. And even if something goes wrong in both camps, we'd get John Edwards. He's perfectly fine, too.

Meanwhile, war-scrambled John McCain won by a flimsy lead in New Hampshire, over that cultist robot Mitts Romney. Huckabee came in a distant third. McCain hasn't got a chance over any of the Democratic frontrunners. So we scored a double victory.

In all honesty, Obama's extemporaneous "concession" speech was sensational--a lot fresher than Hillary's statement, which she had to look down and read from notes all too often.
But her words were sincere, I think, and the bashing she took before the win may have given her a gift she needed desperately: humility.

Maybe she has found her voice.
Maybe she knows now that she can't hide in Bill's pants pocket after all.
Maybe she'll shed her Scorpio tendency to shield the real her and show us who the fuck she is.

No matter what, we ALL won in New Hampshire last night. The only way is up. Yay!

Dear Friends,

Lately I've been having a little trouble getting Blogspot to recognize my account number and password combination.
I got in this time but I'm not sure I can get in next time I post.
If that is the case, please be patient until I sort this out.
As always, thanks to my Blogging partner Gray Bird for her willingness to help me through the years with assorted blogging problems. Go see her at Lazy Dog Public House, linked at the list on the right.

Ooops, I Did it Again




Let's face it, Britney's not just a drunken, doped out hillbilly with money.
This latest adventure sounds more like it belongs in an anecdotal digest about the manic side of bipolar disorder.
Lemme see, impaired judgment? Check.
Irrational decision making? Check.
Alcohol and/or substance abuse? Check.
Mania and recklessness? Check.
Callous disregard for her children's welfare? Check.

The girl needs to get treatment for whatever disease she has. The alcohol and drugs are only symptoms, I'm certain.

The Iowa Primary: An Embarrassment of Riches for Democrats

By now, the entire world knows Barack Obama won the Democratic nod and Mike Huckabee won on the GOP side.

Big Sis called me early last night and we made bets about each side. The one who correctly guessed the winner of the Democratic side got a free dinner and for the GOP side the winner got a free breakfast.
Now she owes me a free breakfast and dinner!

I watched CNN until late last night so I could hear the top three Democrats' speeches.
I'm happy to say I liked what all three had to say.

-Edwards is good because he hates corporate greed and knows how to torture those bastards in the corner offices. Tax incentives for outsourcing jobs will be gone if he wins. He wants the war in Iraq to end. Plus he's cute, white and male, so he can pull votes from the undecided and superficial.
-Obama is good because he never voted for that fucking Iraqi war and he'd pull out the troops immediately.
Plus he won in one of the whitest states in the nation, which demonstrates his charismatic nature.
-Hillary is good for reasons I've already mentioned in an earlier post.

Any of them could win the Presidency and I'd be thrilled.

As for Huckabee, he won in a conservative state where religiosity is considered a necessity for GOP voters when considering a candidate.
They didn't vote for Romney because conservative Christians recognize Mormonism as a cult, which it is and always has been. Romney is too slick, too rich and too Bushy to have captured the hearts of Iowans.

I listened to Huckabee's victory speech.
First, the shadow of Chuck Norris behind him on the podium reminded me how much Norris resembles Danny Bonaduce. How unfortunate for both of them.
Huckabee seems like a simple, plain spoken, nice guy. He's definitely not cut from the same cloth as the rest of the GOP contenders.
That's what will hurt him.
The Republicans eat their own, and the monied ones like Romney and Giuliani will cast Huckabee as just another Gomer from Hope, Arkansas. They will vilify him and turn him into some kind of anti-Christ monster before all is said and done.
He's their worst nightmare; an evangelical who will get the votes Bush got when he pretended to be born-again. The GOP panders to right-wing religious wing-nuts and now they have one running for president.
Delicious poetic justice.

New Hampshire will tell a different story.
There's less religiosity, more liberals and more sophistication than in Iowa.
I've been to New Hampshire, however, and I was struck by its rural nature. It's not Boston sophisticated, but like all of New England, it is a population of politically savvy voters who listen carefully to primary candidates.
I wouldn't underestimate the power of the Clinton machine in New Hampshire. Hillary was educated in New England and she definitely would be what the Beach Boys would call, "an East Coast girl."

Giuliani and Romney might have a better showing than Huckabee with New Hampshire Republicans because New Englanders are not high on Southern corn pone preachers. They like Yankees, period.

As I have said repeatedly, the Republicans do not have even one candidate who can appeal to GOP voters across the board. They all have at least a few fatal flaws, Bush being a Republican being the worst.

I think it's safe to say change is coming and it doesn't look like the Republicans have anyone who can distance himself enough from Bush and his vanity war to get elected. People are tired of that shit, and I think come November we'll see that in the polls.

I Forgot to Mention



I went to see the movie Juno and liked it a lot. Very fresh new talent and nobody hammed it up too much. Good writing.
Big Sis saw it and liked it, too.
That kid who stars is going to be the next Sandra Bullock-type. Hear me now and believe me later.

To Tell You the Truth, Sometimes I Lie



It's the first day of the last year Bush will be in office (save for a few final days in Jan '09 when the bum starts stealing the White House silverware).
I figured it was high time I made known my choice for President.

I'm voting for Hillary.

We all know any candidate at this level of politics has to lie, cheat and manipulate to get elected by the general public.
Let's not fool ourselves into thinking that Obama's dreamy gentility or Edwards' pugnaciousness are innate qualities. They are delivering what their handlers tell them the people want.
We also know the slate of Republican candidates is a confederacy of dunces, crooks and scumbags.
Yes, I do think Hillary has lied her way to the top of the pile of Democratic hopefuls. She's pretended to be more hawkish than she is to assuage the war mongering electorate's fears. She's a chick; she has to appear tougher than any of the men in the race.
She's had to distance herself from gay issues because we all suspect she might be a little on the gay side herself (wink). We get it.
Yes, I think Hillary's penchant for faking regional accents, guffawing over seemingly nothing and her unfortunate dialectical attempt at reading an old negro
poem were cringe-worthy.
Yes, I agree that she's more slippery than greased owl shit. So? So am I.

But after eight years of criminal activity perpetrated by the Bush administration, we need a bitch in office. And I think Hillary's the right bitch for the job.

When she was first lady, we saw her scratch and claw her way beyond cookie baking and into relevance. She pioneered the concept of universal health care and was laughed at because of it. But she tried and didn't care what her enemies thought. And she lit the fuse.
As first lady, she was an open feminist. She was behind the things I was behind and she didn't try to hide it.
People hated her for it and she didn't care.
Now she has to care to get elected, so she's had to take on a patina of phoniness, just like they all have to do. So?

I was no Richard Nixon fan, except for one thing. He was a mean-spirited bastard and the whole world knew it. His foreign policy was, "Just TRY fucking with America."
And being the unpredictable, crazy, paranoid bastard he was, nobody fucked with us.

Hillary's a bitch and we all know it. But that crazy mama lion of a bitch reared a wonderful child that America can be proud of. Chelsea has never embarrassed her parents or the nation like the Bush twins did so many times. Hillary and Bill reared that kid and it speaks well of their true natures as parents...and human beings.

Come on folks- think about it. Do you really think Michelle Obama or Elizabeth Edwards would bring to the table the same skills and experience Bill Clinton would bring as First Gentleman? The man has exhibited some tremendous humanitarian and diplomatic skills post-presidency, and isn't it important to have someone help the president try to mend some of the global hatred toward American Bush has spawned?

Bill knew what he was doing when he latched on to Hillary back in college. He knew her intelligence and sense of responsibility would compliment his impetuousness and folksiness. We all know it wasn't about sexual heat- it was about finding the right mate to help him advance his political ambitions. And she may have known the same chemistry might one day help her own political aspirations. So?

I don't trust ANY politician. I'm backing Hillary because I think she has core values similar to my own. I have no interest in dissecting her every word and vote as a Senator because I know it was just a stepping stone for her anyway.

If it were a perfect world, I'd be backing Dennis Kucinich for President. But he's too honest and that shit doesn't go over with voters.

The men have had long enough to lead this nation back to greatness. It's time for a change. And I'd feel safer being a female American queer with a bitch like Hillary in office.

You?