Saturday, September 21, 2002

Gotta Getaway

The Goddess and I have started planning a little getaway for mid October.
We came up with a reasonable plan, going to Ogunquit, Maine for a 4-day weekend.
At my age, I cannot tolerate camping or rough accommodations where you can sand the paint off a car with the bath towels. I need clean sheets, room service and HBO.
Finding a decent place in Ogunquit for under a jillion dollars has been challenging, so we broadened our search up and down the southern coast of Maine, stopping short of Kennebunkport, because as Democrats we don't want to get GOP cooties.
Also, I have a mortal fear of running into Barbara Bush. I think she has magic abilities to read malevolent thoughts projected toward her, and she could easily kick my ass.
The Goddess has a short attention span for idle pastimes like just sitting around and talking. She's very task oriented, so she's been searching for lodging like a determined eagle hen looking for nesting materials.
I, her semi retarded buzzard administrative assistant, have been charged with keeping a mental list of her favorites. I haven't told her I have trouble keeping a mental list of where I put my shoes, but that's a little detail she'll discover soon enough.
As our search became more broadbased and exhaustive, the Goddess came up with Salem, Massachusetts. Seems the witches get a little greedy around Halloween, so that's not so likely a destination.
Now we are exploring Southern Mass, like Cape Cod and those areas. We have avoided Provincetown because we'd like to spend some time alone together without 10,000 lesbians around to pretend we are not eyeing.
She also found Block Island, off the coast of Rhode Island. It's beautiful, but lodging there runs roughly the same as the GNP of Zimbabwe. It's some sort of sanctuary for all things natural, so like all places I'm sure it has a Starbucks by now. Just getting there on the ferry runs $80 roundtrip. So, ixnay on Ock-blay.
If anyone out there has any ideas, we are open to them. I hate Connecticut and New Hampshire, so try to stay in the Massachusetts/Maine locations.

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