MULLET HAIKU (by my friend Katie)


Smoke, dual exhaust.
Rusty, trusty Trans-Am.
Hair and car are one


Brown edged tank top sticks
to my white clumpy armpits.
Somehow I get laid.

Short like your schooling.
Long like your prison sentence.
The penal haircut.

Dogs urinate where
they so choose. And so do I.
Red and blue lights flash.

O! Squirrel brother,
Your tail, my hair. We are one.
Yet I must eat you.

This super cool hair
and a bucket of chicken:
What more could I want?

My slick snakeskin boots
My silk shirt with rooster prints
Always colored jeans


Lynnrd Skynnrd didn't
win no spelling bees. Who cares?
They rock the trailer.

Razor set to one.
Do front and sides and then stop.
Reaffirm my style.

metallica is
for first graders. Nothing rocks
harder than Winger.

Teen runaway, I
hate my dad. Yet I am one.
Fly, thunderbird, fly.

New white tank top tucks
neatly into tight black jeans:
Redneck Romeo.

Bald on the top and
long on the back. Behold my
glorious skullet.

With long hair in place
how else can I rebel? Hand
me the bong uncle.

Under the Christmas
tree: tight black jeans and a comb.
I've been extra good!


Short for dad. Long for
the daughter mom always wanted.
Everyone's happy.