Pre-Bitching

In anticipation of a few days of withdrawal-induced bitchiness, here's what bugs are up my ass today.
Old Navy.
They are way too slow in processing orders. I ordered stuff from them, L.L. Bean and Land's End last week and they are the last to even put the shit in a box, much less mail it. My new Land's End sports mocs arrived yesterday, and Old Navy is still looking for a fucking box to throw my stuff into. Fucking fucks.
Cordless phones.
The Goddess has a cordless phone that senses when things are getting good and starts to beep, then goes dead without notice. I hate that fucking phone. I hate all cordless phones and cell phones. Brain tumors just waiting to happen.
Blogspot.
When you say you'll have service back on at 9:30, that's 9:30, not 11:00. Sure you're free, but ads pay for our subscriptions, and you wont sell as many with people bailing out on you.
Explosions.
One of my neighbors over the back fence keeps detonating some kind of explosive and making big ass kabooms about every other day. My kitties get nervous and take it out on the furniture ...and each other. One more kaboom and I may have to drop a dime on some daredevilish idiot.
Cookies.
Why are there no cookies in my home? What was I thinking when I came home cookieless from the grocery store? If I could stand up and kick my own ass, I would.