Thursday, October 04, 2007




I win, I win!

Yeah, the DWiP thinks she won the war.
Unfortunately for her, our CEO Mr. Parakeet Balls today was inundated with calls and e-mail from outraged members of our association who are demanding he refuse to accept my resignation and reassign me to another supervisor. Even a bank vice president called him to complain.
The President called him and asked, "What the Hell's going on there?"
Apparently the Prez also was inundated with calls and letters as well.
So, old Parakeet Balls was pissed that his chief of staff (aka my biggest ally) failed to warm him that last night's meeting resulted in my committee being up in arms and ready to fight for me to keep my job.
All this drama over Parakeet Balls giving the DWiP her way and allowing her to continue her reign of terror over future editors.
Now it looks like his bosses intend to hold his feet to the fire and force him to either do what they ask or pay the price.
Bad news: in the Book of Rules, he as the CEO is allowed to make all personnel decisions.
Good news: He's a pussy and I somehow doubt he'll have to balls to tell his bosses no.
Have you ever seen such drama over the simple case of a woman trying just to do her job without having a fuckin' psycho control freak boss trying to derail her at every turn?
I had already quit and found peace with my decision.
I had no idea my advisory committee, who are dues paying members of our organization, would get so pissed about it and go on the warpath.
I mean, I'm humbled at their show of support and loyalty, but I just hope Parakeet Balls and the DWiP don't hire a hitman to rub me out if I prevail.
All I want to do is do a good job with my fuckin' magazine.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just don't get it.
All I can figure is, the DWiP has photos of Shmutzy fucking a sheep.
A MALE sheep.

...to be continued

11 comments:

Lulu Maude said...

As the World Turns...

Good luck, dear.

Anonymous said...

Shmutz can not possibly come up with a plausible reason for his bosses why he fucked up so incredibly badly. He probably shit in his magic drawers when he started getting the calls/emails.

I think he'll quit because he doesn't need the money or the total shame if he has to ask you to stay.

nobody's fool said...

Girl, that is the UGLIEST photo of what I believe is a human being -- EVER. Gah. I have to go wash my eyeballs. Blech.

Who is that? And where did you find them? I'm assuming that's a female. Hell, I'm assuming that's a human.

Anyway, I'm thrilled that everyone is rallying behind you without you having to ask. That speaks volumes for the fantastic job you've done -- and should continue to do. I truly hope you get to keep your position and get a boss who actually has experience managing personnel.

My thought -- YOU WIN!

Anonymous said...

And all you wanted to do was your job, period. If Shmutz was a competent manager he cd have avoided the whole mess completely.

Jane said...

And my biggest drama is a frost getting my tomato seedlings.. keep us informed!

Lulu Maude said...

Ah, Jane--nice of you to drop by and mop Zippie's brow.

Anonymous said...

Come to think of it, do you even want to remain at such a conservative, boring, unfun place anyway?

dguzman said...

Wow, the plot continues to thicken!

OH MAN--I thought that pic was the ACTUAL DWIP. She's just a generic ugly chic from google? Got it. Still--probably DWIP's twin. Man, I think I went to high school with that ugly chic.

Lulu Maude said...

Ugly is as ugly does.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Well. Suddenly Mr. Parakeet Balls has sprouted a bigger set. He decided to take a stand against his bosses and he reminded them that the CEO is allowed full control over personnel matters.
So, until further notice, I am fucked.

On the other hand, I'm relieved.
I really can't stand the thought of working for a worm and a bitch.
He's a Mormon who wears magic underwear and she's a repressed Catholic girl.
I'm surprised I lasted this long with those pseudo Christian, sniveling zealots.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Why, hello Jane.
:)