Saturday, July 27, 2002

Get Over Yourself:
A Quick Astrology Guide to Eliminating the Worst Things About Your Sign
Part Two.

Make up your fucking mind. Stop those drinking and exercise binges, neither your liver nor your ass will stay young forever.
Decide what you want to order and stop asking the waiter all those fucking questions. And you are NOT the ultimate arbiter of good taste, so stop turning up your nose at the rest of us uncivilized knuckle draggers.
Just say what's on your mind and stop making us have to guess. That mysterious shit gets old. And don't be so cautious with your money, you really can't take it with you. And you are good in bed, but you don't have to act so cocky about it. All those secrets you keep will eventually make you explode. Spill a few beans.
For someone as spiritually deep and filled with integrity, you can be a sneaky bastard.
And your politics are often too extreme, you cranky old fart! And pay attention when others talk about themselves, don't give us that vacant nod-and-smile shit. If you're bored, just fake it, like the rest of us.
Your house is too cluttered with all those fucking collections of yours. Pick one collection and give us visitors some elbow room. And stop eating all that junk. What are you, a goat? Also, your purse and/or wallet are too stuffed with shit. Thin it out.
"The Age of Aquarius" was just some 70's hippie pothead's drug fantasy, so give it up.
"Desiderata" was just another poem, written way before the world became filled with homicidal maniacs. Go kick someone's ass and stop being everyone's peace dove or bitch. It'll set you free.
Sure, you hide behind that nice looking face, wild sense of humor and easy going, sweet demeanor, but when cornered you can go from goldfish to barracuda in three seconds flat, and you know you can. We are not fooled. Nothing bossier than a femme disguised as a sub, eh T.?

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