Sunday, July 28, 2002

When Texans Talk Lazy

I can talk and act like a Texan right out of central casting when I want, but I find I can charge clients more when I tone down the folksy bullshit and enunciate, like some kinda fancy college girl. I do however, enjoy a good Texas drawl and the shortcuts that come with it.

· Ennyhow
Ennyhow, here is a brief guide to speaking Texan.

· All y'all.
Are all y'all going in that one truck?

· Aight
Pick me up at seben?

· Biggo
I caught me some biggo trout last weekend.

· Donedone
I told ya, I donedone it awready.

· Eyetalian
We are goin' out for Eyetalian food tonight.

· Fixinta
I am fixinta goat the store, yawan anythang?

· Jeet
Hey, jeet yet? I'm hongry.

· Momenem
How's your Momenem?

· Whole nuther
That's a whole nuther can o' worms.

· Sketty
When we go to the Eyetalian restaurant, I'm gettin sketty and meatballs.

· Hey
Hey, what doin?
Hey, nuthin much
Hey, sounds good
Hey, yep.
Okay well, hey.

· Goldarn
That's the goldarn biggest dog I ever seen.

· Izzy Bizzy
Hey, where's Bubba? Izzy bizzy?

· Put near
I made put near forty dolla at the flea market.

· Tard
I worked like a rented mule today, I'm tard.

· Hunka
Hey, cut me off a hunka that lemon pie, will ya darlin'?

· Molehole
Aw quit yer bitchin,' you're makin' a mountain out of a molehole.

· No nevermind
She's just a crazy old biddy, don't pay her no nevermind.

· Goff
He's gettin so big fer his britches, next thing he'll be playing goff.

· Gottdam
You ain't got no gottdam bidness tryin to act thataway.

· Gace
Bubba, you got enough gace in your truck to git there?

· Orl
Bubba, you better check the orl while you at it.

· Whine
I like beer, but whine is fer women and sissy boys.

· Justso's
Justso's you know, my husbin is the jealous type.

· Ain-ether
You're just a biggo drunk.

· Shitload
Son, go get me a shitload of them fried pies I like.

· Ammonia
When I wake up Linda Lou for some lovin', I say right into her face,
"Ammonia, now wake up."

· Biggin
Woo wee, that Johnny Clyde's got a biggin.

· Sodie
I'm thirsty, I need a biggo sodie.

· Water
Water you lookin' at, Bubba?

· Dingdang
Hey, you kids quieten down, you'll wake up the whole dingdang trailer park.

· Liketa
It was so dingdang hot, I liketa keeled over.

· Fourteen
Joe Bob is so damn lazy, when he orders him a 7 &7, he calls it a fourteen.

· Kina pye
What kina pye you want fer dessert?

· Taco
That Debbie Sue's so purty, she's the taco the town.

· Tump
Careful, Donna Rae, don't tump over your sodie!

· Swole up
I sprained my gottdurned ankle and now it's all swole up.

· Catty whompus
Straighten up that lampshade, Eula May, it's all catty whompus.

· Lit out
Them Miller boys stole that beer then they lit out o' there like they's on fire.

· Go on up in through there over yonder
How do you get to Lubbock? Easy, you just go on up in through there over yonder.

· Chester drawers
Fold up them socks and put 'em in yer chester drawers.

If you don't quit that sassy talk, ahmo take a switch to your beehind.

· Hairyew
Mornin' ma'am, hairyew today?

· Rench
Before you dry them dishes, you better rench them off good.

· Yadda
Gottdurn it, Clarence, yadda wash your truck onest in a while.

· Sumbitch
I tell ya what, that sumbitch was cheatin' at cards last night.

· Insinuendo
I hate all this gossipin' and all these insinuendos!

No comments: