When Texans Talk Lazy
I can talk and act like a Texan right out of central casting when I want, but I find I can charge clients more when I tone down the folksy bullshit and enunciate, like some kinda fancy college girl. I do however, enjoy a good Texas drawl and the shortcuts that come with it.
Ennyhow, here is a brief guide to speaking Texan.
· All y'all.
Are all y'all going in that one truck?
Pick me up at seben?
I caught me some biggo trout last weekend.
I told ya, I donedone it awready.
We are goin' out for Eyetalian food tonight.
I am fixinta goat the store, yawan anythang?
Hey, jeet yet? I'm hongry.
How's your Momenem?
· Whole nuther
That's a whole nuther can o' worms.
When we go to the Eyetalian restaurant, I'm gettin sketty and meatballs.
Hey, what doin?
Hey, nuthin much
Hey, sounds good
Okay well, hey.
That's the goldarn biggest dog I ever seen.
· Izzy Bizzy
Hey, where's Bubba? Izzy bizzy?
· Put near
I made put near forty dolla at the flea market.
I worked like a rented mule today, I'm tard.
Hey, cut me off a hunka that lemon pie, will ya darlin'?
Aw quit yer bitchin,' you're makin' a mountain out of a molehole.
· No nevermind
She's just a crazy old biddy, don't pay her no nevermind.
He's gettin so big fer his britches, next thing he'll be playing goff.
You ain't got no gottdam bidness tryin to act thataway.
Bubba, you got enough gace in your truck to git there?
Bubba, you better check the orl while you at it.
I like beer, but whine is fer women and sissy boys.
Justso's you know, my husbin is the jealous type.
You're just a biggo drunk.
Son, go get me a shitload of them fried pies I like.
When I wake up Linda Lou for some lovin', I say right into her face,
"Ammonia, now wake up."
Woo wee, that Johnny Clyde's got a biggin.
I'm thirsty, I need a biggo sodie.
Water you lookin' at, Bubba?
Hey, you kids quieten down, you'll wake up the whole dingdang trailer park.
It was so dingdang hot, I liketa keeled over.
Joe Bob is so damn lazy, when he orders him a 7 &7, he calls it a fourteen.
· Kina pye
What kina pye you want fer dessert?
That Debbie Sue's so purty, she's the taco the town.
Careful, Donna Rae, don't tump over your sodie!
· Swole up
I sprained my gottdurned ankle and now it's all swole up.
· Catty whompus
Straighten up that lampshade, Eula May, it's all catty whompus.
· Lit out
Them Miller boys stole that beer then they lit out o' there like they's on fire.
· Go on up in through there over yonder
How do you get to Lubbock? Easy, you just go on up in through there over yonder.
· Chester drawers
Fold up them socks and put 'em in yer chester drawers.
If you don't quit that sassy talk, ahmo take a switch to your beehind.
Mornin' ma'am, hairyew today?
Before you dry them dishes, you better rench them off good.
Gottdurn it, Clarence, yadda wash your truck onest in a while.
I tell ya what, that sumbitch was cheatin' at cards last night.
I hate all this gossipin' and all these insinuendos!