Saturday, July 27, 2002

Guest Star:


I replaced a vinyl copy of an old Jabberjaws LP with a CD I found for only $3.99.
I was so moved by the Cuban-Swiss-Afro-Danish percussion rhythms, I quickly assumed a classic Yoga asana called "the upward facing dog pose," at which point my three cats became visibly threatened by my canine demeanor.
One of the grabbed and claw swatted at my beard, while the other started sharpening his claws on my Tibetan meditation pillow, and the old female casually sauntered over and urinated on one of my new inline skates.
Being a pacifist, I knew violent retaliation toward my pets was not an option, but since duct tape is like the yin and yang, with a dark side and a light side, I used some to help place the cats into some classic yoga positions of their own.
The older male was coaxed into a Warrior pose, the younger male into a Bridge pose, and the female into a Downward Facing Dog pose.
Because they were quite verbal in expressing their appreciation for this new form of cat exercise, I played the song, "Who Let the Dogs Out" very loudly, so they could time their ecstatic meows to the song's barking chorus, thereby opening their heart chakras to let the love between canine and feline flow in and out.
It is this type of oneness that exemplifies the benefits of Yoga.
Meanwhile, Lance Armstrong is kicking the living hell out of those weakling foreigners, and should have all asses nicely kicked for good by Saturday.

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