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Martha Stewart to Launch Book Club
The embattled domestic diva isn't letting insider-trading allegations stop her from proceeding with her next project.
The prison sentence that likely awaits the stock market manipulator has gotten her creative, can-do juices flowing.
"I expect to work while I am detained, and it's natural that I should become the mobile literary resource."
Did that mean she intends to snag the prison's coveted "book cart"job?
Stewart smiled but did not reply.
She said she planned to introduce her convict colleagues to a cornucopia of books and magazines of all types.
"I am sure Maya Angelou's lovely ethnic musings will inspire even the worst crack whore," Stewart said.
"I have not read Ms. Angelou's work personally, but I have dined with her and find her a charming credit to her race, or people, as it were" she said.
"My maid Ordelia just loves Maya," she added.
"For thieves and robbers, I am sure "Vanity Fair" will create an aura of prosperity that will inspire them to consider the plight of others, such as embattled millionaires who were wrongly accused of stock trading malfeasance."
She said drug addicts might also be enriched by inspirational books written by pop psychologist, Dr. Phil.
"His direct, no nonsense approach might be just the medicine for these pathetic drug fiends who have been casually tossed from agency to agency, without measurable efficacy," Stewart said. "He certainly kept Oprah out of jail."
"I also intend to add classic literature by authors such as Dante, Homer, Shakespeare, Plato, Julia Child and Patricia Cornwell."
As to the prison's lack of funding for new reading materials, Stewart said, "Surely the administrators have room in their budget for additional books and magazines."
"If not, we may have to settle for Books on Tape."