Dinner woes.

I was working this evening and didn't have time to make a salad, so I thought microwave popcorn would be nice.
Then I burnt it.
How hard is it to nuke a bag of microwave popcorn?
The corn was black and smoking when I took it out. The bag was charred around the edges.
I can make coq au vin. I can make lobster. I can make Chicken Kiev. I can make a pot roast you can slice with a 3x5 card. I can make cobbler. I can make my own Heath bars, for Crissakes, but I can't seem to nuke a bag of corn.
Oy, I need to start dating again. I need a woman to cook dinner for.
I am running a risk of turning into one of those bachelorettes who eats potato chips off her shirt and drinks cold coffee for dinner.
Help me, before I nuke again...