Suspended Animation

I am too sick to function at 100% and too well to be in bed.
I can smell but I can't breathe. I am coughing but it's not painful coughing.
My hearing is fine, if fine means I have a fishbowl on my head. I am using five Kleenex per minute and have no skin left under my nose.
And, in the midst of all this, I have developed a crush on yet another Canadian.
For months I have been avoiding it. I have allowed myself constant distractions, pretended not to think of her, only called her a little bit, but it's too late.
I am smitten.
And she's wayyy Canadian, with the 'oat' and 'aboat' and the ice skates and the snow and that gentle, polite thing they have going, ey?
And she's sane, romantic and thoughtful, so I have no idea how to handle her.
I guess I may start with a few haiku.

Here I go again
Another Canadian
Hey! Zed rhymes with bed!

She'll die reading these
She had no hint I'd write this
I bet she's blushing

Canada? Why me?
I'm in Texas, far away
and hockey bores me