Thursday, June 13, 2002

Graffiti Woes

People have the wrong idea about Texas. We aren't all gun toting pickup drivers.
We have liberals here, we even have a Unitarian church and a witches' coven that meets regularly at the Resource Center.
I remember a reporter friend of mine was doing a Halloween story on witches, so she called me to see if I knew a witch. I got my address book out and gave her four names!

I used to own a rental house in a section of town that had gone to seed, with lots of gang activity, especially tagging.
The garage was detached and the doors faced the street, so I was constantly painting over gang graffiti. One day I just got sick of it and called in a witch for a consultation.
She said I should paint a little pentagram on the door.
Since I believe anything worth doing is worth overdoing, I painted a glossy, navy blue pentagram the size of a hula hoop on the white door.
The next morning, some religious fanatic motherfucker had PAINTED OVER IT with white paint. They actually de-grafittied my graffiti. They never bothered with the gang tags, but when I tagged my own property, well, you get it.
Disgusted, I went to the dollar store and bought a huge, framed picture of Jesus and I screwed the frame to the garage door. It was gone the next day.
Who would steal a picture of Jesus?
Anyway, I eventually sold the house after the last renter had apparently worked on his car engine on the new living room carpet. The bathtub was so gross, it took a cleaning lady three hours to get the grime out.
Never rent a house to a guy who shows up with a beer can in his hand and a cigarette in his mouth. And never buy a house with graffiti anywhere near it.

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