Land of the Big Hair

I'm flying to Dallas this morning, home of the big hair and people who think they are hotshots.
Actually I'll be in Irving, a suburb of Dallas named for some Jewish dentist, I think.
I think I've been there before, I visited some gay-boy friends of mine years ago that lived in Irving, or Plano, or some damn place.
North Texas is like another state from South Texas. The trees are different, the weather is different, the people are different.
I don't want to go.
I'll be back tomorrow night, still I want to stay here with my kitties and not at some hotel with suspect bed linens and germs all over the shower and telephone. Eeeuuuw.
Better pack the Lysol spray. I hope the airport security doesn't consider that an incendiary device.