Festive Survivor Haiku: An Overview

Rev. John: first to go
The pastor was too bossy
Heathens booted him

Jed, Dallas Dentist
Thought a whole lot of himself
The others did not

Robb, the cocky prick
Tried for last-stand sympathy
He's back bartending

Ken the Brooklyn cop
Such a pretty face and bod
Wrong tribe, poor fella

Jake the Texan guy
Chose brawn not brains for his tribe
The weak tribe killed him

Ted the rump humper
Won a truck but failed to kiss
Brian's silly ass

Clay, what can I say?
The mystery is, how did
he stay for so long?

That leaves sweet Brian
Shifty as a car salesman
He's favored to win

Tanya, poor dumb thang
So beautiful Tanya was
But dumb as a post

Brusque Stephanie Dill
Didn't play well with others
So they kicked her off

Shii Ann, such a mouth
Kissed the wrong asses too soon
Benedict Arnold

Erin, I miss you
Those giant fake bazoongas
and that nice, tight ass

Penny, evil one
Face glowed like Satan at night
Very bad mojo

Ghandia, the Diva
Teased Ted's big black boner
Then said she didn't

Jan, still in the game
Why, I can't begin to guess
Must be that fine ass

Helen, my fav'rite
Balls of steel, yet sorta sweet
Let's hope they choose her