Friday, July 18, 2003

I Musta Forgot

For the last 10 days I have been wallowing in a deep, muddy, suffocating depression.
I don't mean feeling blue, I mean sleeping 12-14 hours a day, isolating, not eating right and having zero energy.
Not to mention looking like Nick Nolte in his DUI mugshot.
Thank God I have a limited attention span, because I got thoroughly sick of it yesterday and rode my stationary bike about five miles. Then I lifted some weights.
Now today I feel almost normal. I can't believe how different exercise makes me feel. I may have to do more of it!
I also remembered to start saying the serenity prayer again. I am not very religious but I do have a strong sense of God, and that part about "the wisdom to know the difference" really works.
If any of you are atheist or agnostic and cannot manage the serenity prayer, remember the words of Kenny Rogers in "The Gambler."
"You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
Same difference.
So, today starts a new chapter.
I can't do much about the recent past, but I am tired of letting it fuck up all my todays.
The only power I have over the past is the ability to slam the gate shut on it today.
So I have.
I may not be shouting, "ONWARD AND UPWARD" just yet, but I am saying onward, and that's a start.

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